Warning: The Dangers of Sexting

So does sexting -- sending sexually explicit messages or pictures over those pocket-sized connectivity machines that I think the young kids refer to as "cell phones" -- really happen? Is it a big deal? Yes. And yes.

Apart from finally being able to eviscerate my wallet of the string of fake ID personalities I have adopted over the years, my 21st birthday brought along another interesting gift. "Happy birthday babe :-)," read the text on the screen, but that wasn't really what I was paying attention to. My eyes were fixated on the perfectly tanned canvas of skin spanning from neck to feet. Perfectly tanned, perfectly nude skin. Happy birthday, indeed.

When I finally got a big kid phone (read: Smartphone) this past Thanksgiving, the guy at the Verizon store was successfully able to transfer over my contacts and messages. However, my pictures couldn't be transferred. I worked hard for that birthday picture though and I wasn't ready to give up that easily. "There's no way you can get the pictures?" I pleaded.

"Well, I could go in the back and try again."

"I'll pass." It was clear that this was a common occurrence at the Verizon store. He wouldn't have been able to get those pictures to my new phone. He knew this, I knew this. This guy just wanted to see what kind of freaky pics I had stored on my SIM card. Sorry, buddy, not your birthday. But this is why sexting is something to be concerned about.

Ask Pete Wentz, Vanessa Hudgens, even Snooki how fast cell phone pictures become the latest headline on Gawker or PerezHilton. I didn't really need to know the level of maintenance Vanessa Hudgen's provides for her nether regions (well-trimmed if you happen to be curious though), but a quick Google search can show me Vanessa "breaking free" from her clothes and High School Musical goody-two-shoes image. Cell phones aren't like Vegas. What happens on them doesn't stay - it gets forwarded to the frat bros, camp friends, co-workers, etc. Or a huge chunk of the graduate school students of a business school. Oops, maybe you should have double-checked that address field.

It took all but three seconds for the group of guys I asked about sexting to start talking to me about the pictures they'd received. People weren't shy to show off their inboxes. Inappropriate? Yes. Inexcusable? Not really. Sure it was implied, but the senders never said what the recipient could or could not do with their sext (I promise to never use that word ever again). They also didn't say "do with this as you will" though. The other day my friend's phone accidentally called his girlfriend's while they were having sex. Obviously, she didn't answer her phone (so you can deduct from this that my friend's girlfriend is not Paris Hilton), so the phone went to voice mail. Guess what got recorded. Guess how I know about it. Yeah, I heard that message. In his defense he had permission to play it to me from her. People that write about sex tend to get more information from people than they bargain for. Or ask for.

What should be private becomes public when it's so easily distributed or displayed. A girl sent her nude pictures to the entire hockey team of my friend's high school. What did she think would happen? I'd be damned if the nerdy kid in the back of Spanish class didn't have that picture forwarded to him through the ever-growing grapevine. It's a slippery slope so if you don't want Joe Schmo who parks his car next to yours at your dorm to know about that beauty mark on your inner thigh, maybe reconsider sending John Doe that picture you took in the bathroom.

It's a good feeling to open up a message and see that someone has sent you something I'm sure they reserve for only a few people/hockey teams. Hell, it's even liberating to take the pictures. People used to solely do this with webcams, but with a camera and a viewer in virtually every pocket in America at any time there's no need to schedule a web cam sesh. Just point, click, and send. Instant nude pics. You can add water if you want, just try not to get it on your phone... But know this: Once it's out there you can't get it back, but to be honest, a happy birthday is best delivered with the flash on and the flesh out...

 

Follow Jeff A. Katz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Jeff_A_Katz

Comments

[rkm210]

03:04 PM on 03/05/2010

hah i cant even believe how stupid people are when they send naked pics of themselves... if they did in the first place obv they dont have much shame? but even that its going to spread fast so they should just exercise common sense (see MTVs new ads)

[Agentprovokatur]

09:18 AM on 03/02/2010

The rule of thumb to live by is whether it's sexting, nude photos or just text or information that might be embarrassing or otherwise confidential, you must assume that the second it leaves your possession in any digital form it is now, and will be public information.

If you don't want something to be public - don't transmit it digitally.

[Mister Biggles]

04:04 PM on 03/01/2010

Yeah...

OR we could just stop thinking that being naked is somehow bad or awful or the worst thing in the world.

[ECBA88]

01:41 PM on 03/07/2010

Thanks for saving me the effort of commenting that. This entire "sexting" moral panic is based on the idea that our bodies, and especially the bodies of teenagers going through normal hormonal and pychosexual development that many of us did at that age, are dirty and wrong, and that if people see them, our lives will be ruined. I really think this is an assumption that the milennial generation is going to change. The advent of webcams, digital cameras, and especially camera phones has lowered the difficulty threshold of recording one's naked body to almost zero for anyone of high school age or above, and at a certain point, we're gonna have to stop being scandalized by it.

To the author, thanks for being the first sex columnist I've read who merely implies that the spread of a low-resolution, grainy naked photo from college will ruin your life, rather than stating it outright and spreading the moral panic. I hope we as a culture are on our way to the discovery that nudity is not, in fact, all that scary.