A disclaimer: I value, support, respect and admire all working women. I don't know how they do it all -- and they really do it all -- but this column isn't about them. Instead, it's about this other group we sometimes take for granted: the working dad.
There's no shortage of parenting advice, books and commentary on work-life balance and parenting for working women. There are endless books, advice columns and even forums to celebrate 'the best working mom' in most industries.
But, there's also an incredible lack of recognition for working fathers. In fact, I've struggled to find any meaningful dialogue on the topic.
In my job, I work long hours and travel nearly every week. But that doesn't mean that I don't aspire to be a great father, a great husband and also find work-life balance. Like most working parents, I do what it takes to do both. You make sacrifices, you make tradeoffs and you find ways to do both the best way you can.
For me, that means never missing them before they go to bed. If I'm not traveling, I try to get home in time to at least read a story or lie in bed and chat about the school day. If I'm traveling, I call them from wherever I am in the world, no matter the time zone. On the weekends, it also means full days of soccer practices, ballet recitals or shuttling back and forth to birthday parties and play dates.
And for this, I'm not looking for awards or recognition. I assure you, I firmly believe that working moms definitely carry the larger burden, but still, where is the dialogue around working fathers?
I can't count the number of conferences that I've been to where very successful women have taken the stage and discussed 'just how they do it all' and receive standing ovations for being a working parent. But can you imagine if I stood on a similar stage and discussed the plight of the working father? It's not to say it wouldn't be interesting or even well received, but it's just something we don't discuss and celebrate.
I recall traveling recently and watching from my hotel room a CNBC reporter interviewing Indra Nooyi, CEO of Pepsi, and asking her how she manages being a CEO of a top global company and also being a mom. While well intentioned, I wondered, why don't we ask that question to Bill Gates? He's one of the most successful CEOs of our generation, and he managed both to raise children and run the global Microsoft empire. But, he's also a father and presumably a good one. I'd love to know how he does it... so why don't we ask?
I'm certain many working fathers like myself would like more dialogue and discourse on the challenges facing the working father. I'll speak on behalf of this working father -- I don't want praise, I don't want trophies or awards, but I do think we need to spend more time acknowledging that we do try hard to 'do it all' just like our working mother colleagues. And, we're also open to more resources and dialogue on this topic.
So, on this Father's Day, I'd like to celebrate the working fathers for their hard work and for trying to do it all. While we still have a long way to go to catch up with our working mother counterparts, I'm proud of the emphasis we place, not only on judging our success by how we perform at work, but also how we raise our kids.
Follow Jeff Levick on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@jefflevick
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By virtue of our choices, we each have our roles to fill and we do it as best as we can. I praise any and all parents who work outside of the house because creating a happy, healthy family is hard in the best of circumstances and even harder when you have to divide the little free time you have between your family and the hobbies or interests that help you relax and be a better, stronger person for those other areas of your life.
maybe i get heard?
My dad was from a remote OZ mining town - broken hill - ~1921 - town got slammed by depression - his dad was a cop (my dad was borne in Silverton jailhouse - an exburb of BH - they dont come more booonieys than that - it didnt even have a horse - a ghost town) - so was mostly spared the pain - when finished basic hi school - had a meet w/ his dad & said "so which mine do u reckon is best dad" - The hell with that - u finish school - came as a complete shock to him - went on to be a v educated, funny, successfull & in many respects, wise guy.
teacher in the bush, officer in ww2, full time arts degree when working full time in sydney, built own house at same time, 4 kids, deputy headmaster, UN peace keeper in M/E (Major in OZ army), school counsellor back in oz, more uni (psych), senior bureaucrat in ed dept when retired. Not a bad effort, aye?
"Respect 2 my late Dad"
Not perfect but who is? One can only do ones best, and he certainly did given character apon circumstance.
Couldnt have done it w/o a difficult, but ultimately loyal, in for the long haul mum, tho.
*sarcasm* i know it's tough to have that career and come home to dinner made, underwear clean, kids sleepy and ready for you to put to bed. thanks for making that effort to get there no matter what, now when im exhausted you also want 2 hours of my evening to entertain you with. gotta go prepare your special father's day dinner now and then work an 8 hour sunday shift while you golf and my mom has the kids.
this is why you can't find an article on how to cope being a working dad, you roles hasn't drastically changed and you continue to wade through the world as previous male generations before you. give me something about those dads that drop out of the rat race to be there for the family or the single dads who really do do it all and get far too little praise. all those dad's that put their kids first (really first, not that you're first until my office calls or it's softball night stuff)
but im just that wife who is nagging and spoiling all your fun :)
I looked at him and said, "If I have the cash, why would I need you to sign for it?" He smiled and said "You're a smart kid, now you're learning" LOL
Last weekend two of my friends and our combined seven children were bar-b-queing... the kids were playing, laughing, having a great time, we were talking and laughing and then I noticed something... I turned to Rick and asked..."notice anything?" and he said, "yeah, no wives biaching about ...did you do this, is that done, where are the this and that... and on and on... just the kids having fun and us enjoying the peaceful evening... perfect.