Have the members of your organization become so lazy that they just don't go out and murder liberals anymore? Fear not. For the low, low price of $25,001-$50,000, Ann Coulter will deliver a rousing performance full of hate speech and justifications for violent political crimes.
Ms. Murder Motivator is currently listed by Premiere Speakers Bureau, ("Motivational speakers for Every Event") and by Nationwide Speakers Bureau, Inc., which puts her in "Fee Category D ($25,001 to $50,000)."
Looking to "motivate" their membership and make a difference in America, the Center for Reclaiming America for Christ ponied up and hired Coulter as a keynote speaker for their annual conference. And boy did they get their money's worth.
Those who list their own motivational services in the same speakers bureau as Ms. Coulter's might be troubled to learn that she is a colleague--but what is the right response to learning that you are listed on the same service as someone who gets rich by peddling hate speech?
"M" is for Motivate, Murder, Money
Fresh off a week of insulting a Presidential candidate with a word typically shouted by skinheads before they beat people to death with shovels, Coulter appealed to the inner hate killer in all her audience members with this $25,000-$50,000-per-speech gem:
Those few abortionists were shot, or, depending on your point of view, had a procedure with a rifle performed on them. I'm not justifying it, but I do understand how it happened.... The number of deaths attributed to Roe v. Wade about 40 million aborted babies and seven abortion clinic workers; 40 million to seven is also a pretty good measure of how the political debate is going.
And that, folks, is why she gets the big bucks. When Ann can deliver hard-hitting lines justifying the murder of doctors to a room full of anti-abortion activists, you'd have to be a fool to waste your money on swag bags and bumper stickers. Give all the cash to Ann. If you want your members to get off their duffs, grab a revolver, and head down to the local women's clinic--Ms. Murder Motivator is the way to go.
"I'm not justifying it," she says. "But I do understand how it happened."
And we all understand what she means by that ("...wink...wink...thanks for the check..see you at sentencing...").
More than just a role model for America's children, Ann Coulter is the backbone of the thriving motivational speaker business in this country.
A Colleague to Admire?
But she does not work alone. Ann Coulter is part of a roster--a list more than a team--of well-known people who stand with her as a business colleagues, even if most of them probably do not know they are with the same speakers bureau as an apologist for murder.
For example, here is a list of all the people also in Nationwide Speakers Bureau, Inc. Fee Range D alongside of Ms. Murder Motivator:
- Scott Adams: Humorous Dilbert Creator
- Robert Ballard: Most famous Marine Archaeologist of our time. He located the Titanic.
- Jill Barad: Former CEO of Mattel, Inc.
- Dave Barry: Famed Pulitzer Prize-Winning Columnist and Humorist
- Leonard Berry: Professor of Retail Studies
- Michael Beschloss: Presidential Historian and Political Analyst
- Larry Bird: Basketball Legend
- Daniel Boulud: Celebrity Chef Award-Winning Daniel NYC
- Bobby Bowden: Head Coach, Florida State Football
- Jim Calhoun: NCAA Championship Coach
- Jack Canfield: Co-creator, Chicken Soup for the Soul
- Pete Carroll: Head Coach, USC Trojans Football
- Ram Charan: Highly Acclaimed Business Advisor, Speaker, and Author
- Maxine Clark: Build-A-Bear Workshop®
- Catherine Crier: Court TV Host
- Mark Cuban: Controversial NBA Owner
- Harry Dent: Famed Econo-futurist
- Mike Ditka: NFL Coaching legend
- Hugh Downs: Famed Newscaster
- Ken Dychtwald: Nationally renowned expert on marketing to an aging population
- Wayne Dyer: "There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem"
- Roger Ebert: Famed Film Critic
- Linda Ellerbee: Author And So It Goes
- Mike Eruzione: Olympic Gold/ Story of the Century
- Roy Firestone: Las Vegas-style Impressionist
- Jeff Fisher: Titans Team-Builder
- Mick Fleetwood: CEO, Fleetwood Mac
- Richard Florida: Author Of The 2002 Best-Seller The Rise Of The Creative Class
- Jeffrey Gitomer: Standing Ovation Sales Motivator
- Genevieve Gorder: Host, TLC's Town Hall
- Bud Greenspan: World-renowned Olympic filmmaker
- Dr. Sanjay Gupta: CNN Medical Expert
- Mike Holmgren: Executive Vice President/General Manager and Head Coach, Seattle Seahawks
- Jesse Jackson: Rainbow Coalition Leader
- Naomi Judd: Overcoming Adversity
- Billie Jean King: Tennis Legend
- Warren F. Kornblum: America's Most Requested Branding Speaker
- Art Laffer: Global Economist
- Jim Lehrer: Executive Editor & Anchor of The News Hour with Jim Lehrer on PBS
- Patrick Lencioni: Business Legend
- Jim McCann: CEO, 1-800-FLOWERS
- Laurence Meyer: Renowned Economist and
- Andrea Mitchell: NBC News Chief Foreign Affairs correspondent
- Jack Mitchell: Author of Bestseller "Hug Your Customers"
- Jim Nantz: CBS Sports Host
- Kevin Nealon: Former SNL Star
- Chuck Noll: Steelers Coaching Legend
- Peggy Noonan: Presidential Speechwriter and Political Editorialist
- Bill Nye: Bill Nye, scientist / inventor / comedian / author, is a man with a mission. He's out to turn kids of all ages on to the "way cool" wonders of science!
- Suze Orman: Author, The Courage to Be Rich
- Bill Parcells: NFL Coaching Legend
- Don Peppers: Customer Relationship Management, Marketing 1:1
- Rick Pitino: Energetic Head Coach, Louisville Basketball
- Kevin Pollak: Hilarious Stand-up Comedian
- Jerry Porras: Co-Author of Built to Last & Stanford University Professor
- Aron Ralston: An Amazing Story of Survival
- Jim Rogers: Investment Expert, Author: Investment Biker & Adventure Capitalist
- Martha Rogers: One to One Marketing
- Fred Rosen: Former Ticketmaster CEO
- Scott Ross: Digital Visionary
- Don Shula: NFL Coaching Legend
- Bernie Siegel: Holistic MD/author
- Hyrum Smith: Franklin Covey
- Ben Stein: A Vision of America
- Michael Treacy: Expert on Corporate Strategy and Business Process Transformation
- Dick Vermeil: Super Bowl Champion Coach
- Edie Weiner: Business Futurist
Together, they must represent a sizable chunk of the annual business at
that firm. And right now it seems that all these famous and highly-paid people are giving legitimacy by association to Ann Coulter's talent for motivating the masses to to see murder as "understandable."
Or are they?
This is a tricky question that plagues progressives. Should these people use their influence to pressure their speaker's bureaus or not? Should they pick up the phone and ask questions, maybe even get nasty, or not?
If I were any one of these people--say Billie Jean King or Jim Lehrer or Suze Orman--I might be inclined to call up Nationwide Speakers Bureau and tell them I had half a mind to take my fees to another company unless they dropped Ann Coulter from their roster. But in the back of my mind, I would also be wondering if this is the kind of thing that progressives should be doing. What I would really want is for Coulter to become so unmarketable that she would be dropped for lack of revenue earned. But I am impatient, so I would probably make the call.
That phone call might sound something like this:
"I don't want my name associated with someone who justifies murder."
"Coulter uses the same hate language as skinheads--she makes us all look bad. Get rid of her or I will leave and take everyone I know with me."
Or, perhaps, this:
"My next speaking engagement just found out Coulter is with this firm. Get rid of her before she ruins everyone's business."
Frankly, the workable variations on this particular phone call script are limitless. And I am sure that people who get paid $25,001-$50,000 to speak to a room full of strangers can cook up something that works to say to business colleagues they know very well.
But will this really work? If progressives pressure the people who sell Coulter's hate speech and--hypothetically--they drop her, will she not just get another agent? She probably will--right now--because there is a huge demand for her out there. In business terms, large parts of the market can still bear her hate speech because smut still sells--even if in the long run, that string of good luck will change for Coulter.
So what to do right now?
Some people will continue to use every means possible to put pressure on both vendors and customers connected to Ann Coulter. She has already lost several sponsors to her website. And there is no doubt that she will likely lose a few more sponsors and business associates in the days ahead. Then it will all blow over, and come next February, we will be at it again.
The long term goal, in other words, is to develop a new political discourse. Then, people themselves will be so offended and disinterested by Coulter's arguments that she will never get another job as a highly-paid speaker--or highly-paid author--or a highly-paid anything--until she stops lacing American politics with violent hate speech.
Pressure against her business associates may yield short term gains, but in the long term--the task is to make the space for violent hate speech in politics so small that it becomes a tiny, distant nuisance.
(cross posted from Frameshop)
Follow Jeffrey Feldman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/JeffreyFeldman