Three Simple Words to Help With Depression

Transitions and change can be challenging for any of us. The recent earthquake, hurricane and flooding, in addition to the end of vacation and back-to-school, or back to the grind of work, can be stressful and emotionally overwhelming. You can help reduce not only someone else's stress and feelings of depression and anxiety, but also your own, with a simple connection -- talking. In the next few weeks and beyond, practice a good and important habit for maintaining positive psychological well-being: Give someone you trust a call and say, "Talk to me."

Why Talk?

Talking to someone regularly and telling them about our lives might seem simple and unimportant, but it can produce tremendous and even life-saving benefits. When we make a habit of talking with a friend, family member, colleague or counselor about the important issues in our life, we're more likely to talk with them about those issues that have the potential to be harmful or even life-threatening, including thoughts of suicide.

Getting into this habit now is also well-timed. National Suicide Prevention Week begins the Sunday of Labor Day weekend and extends through the following Saturday, Sept. 4 -10. This important awareness week helps us learn what to do if someone we care about is in crisis, including if that person is you. One of the best tools to preventing suicide is lowering the bar to getting help. When you say, "Talk to me," your offer of care and acceptance could help save a life.

Starting the Trend

Talking -- whether it's on the phone, in person, by email, instant message or video chat -- offers insight into another person's experience and lets them know you care and that you are open to listen. You can often hear or see what isn't spoken simply through tone or body language, and by genuinely listening without judgment you'll gain a deeper understanding of what the person is experiencing and feeling.

By telling a friend, "Talk to me," you immediately communicate that you accept them for who they are, and that you are prepared to listen and take them seriously. For a person experiencing depression, it may not be easy to engage in conversation, but by creating a safe space for expression, you could open a window to their darkness. You can help them to see choices they may not be aware that they have, which can help them move forward in their life.

Respond to someone when they ask, "Can you talk to me?" by picking up the phone or meeting them in person. If they tell you they are considering suicide, take them seriously. They've opened up to you because they trust you, and you can help them by continuing to engage that trust by encouraging them to get help from a counselor, hospital or lifeline.

"Talk to me," is an especially important phrase to share if you are a trained counselor, mediator or listener, including teachers, school counselors, religious leaders and members of law enforcement. It encourages friends and neighbors to know that you are a safe and accepting person to talk with, and that seeking help is a vital tool.

Always remind the people you care about that help is available. The Trevor LifeLine (866-488-7386) is a 24-hour free and confidential resource for young people (ages 24 and younger) who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning. There is also the National Suicide Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Get Involved

The Trevor Project has launched an awareness campaign called "Talk to Me" for National Suicide Prevention Week. Through TrevorTalkToMe.org, you can learn more about the value of talk and spread the word to friends and family members that you care and are someone to talk to. There, you can also sign a pledge to continue to practice the good habit of talking.

 

 

 

Follow Jeffrey Fishberger, MD on Twitter: www.twitter.com/TrevorProject

Comments

[April Penn]

11:27 AM on 09/19/2011

This brings up the importance of having professional therapists to talk to. I can think of many situations in which just talking to a friend or family member isn't the best idea. It can be a starting point, though if that outlet is available to you. If your parents are already suicidal, then they can't help you.

[robert horwitz]

05:33 PM on 09/13/2011

If one is depressed talking to other people is a good idea. I've always found that talking to people who are a lot more depressed than I am is the best approach. If you can its not a bad idea if you can make them feel even more depressed than they already are. The greater the contrast between you and them the better you will feel. If I happen to go a little overboard I always suggest that they call someone else and do the same thing.

[colmoore]

09:08 AM on 09/09/2011

The U.S. has an estimated four million people grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. Talking can help those people, too. One place for them to go is the Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors community forum (http://forum.forsuicidesurvivors.com/). There they can connect with other suicide grievers and find useful information to help them heal. The Alliance of Hope is a lifeline for thousands of people in mourning.

[Stacy M]

11:18 AM on 09/02/2011

What if the person I say this to turns away to his computer and starts playing computer games?

[GraniteSkyline]

01:08 AM on 09/04/2011

"When you are ready to talk, I'm ready to listen."

[inducares]

09:27 AM on 09/02/2011

For a person who is reticent or inhibited saying these three words is no less daunting than climbing a hill.Secondly one can't be sure of the other person's reaction.If it is not what he or she had expected it could further darken his/her mood.

[probo]

01:54 PM on 09/26/2011

Seems most people don't want to believe your very real feelings, and that makes me feel invisible. It is my experience that they see me as different than I am. Not sure if that is my fault too.

[JAVA VB]

12:31 PM on 09/01/2011

but if somebody passes away, if something happens to you, there is a normal process of depression, it is part of being human, and some people view it as a learning experience etc,appliiying science in everything of the human life has its limits annyway !