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Conspiracy Wingnuts Hail 'News of the Obama World'

01/09/2012 07:27 pm ET | Updated Mar 08, 2012

"The secret is finally out! Mitt Romney has confirmed what many of us already knew -- Barack Obama is not of this Earth!"

Niles Bledsoe feels vindicated and empowered. At a hastily called news conference on his front lawn in Morlock CA, the local conspiracy theorist and his wife, Velda, were responding to comments Romney recently made during an interview with MSNBC. While chiding rival Newt Gingrich for not being able to take criticism, Romney said, "We have to show that we, as a Republican Party, and as a candidate that we can stand up to the barrage that's going to come from the Obama world."

"Read his lips," Bledsoe explained. "He did NOT say the 'Obama campaign' or the 'Obama gang.' He deliberately said 'the Obama world.' This tells me Mitt Romney is aware of the threat we face. I've been warning people around here about the Obama planet for years, and now even the mainstream candidates are admitting that it poses a clear and present danger to our nation."

The Bledsoes, aided by a small network of ultra-conservative amateur astronomers, say evidence of the president's extra-terrestrial birthplace can be found by studying records of lunar eclipses, tidal variations, and migratory bird patterns across the northern hemisphere.

"The Obama planet very likely has an irregular orbit," Velda says, "and we think it passed near Earth around 1947. If a fleet of Obamite space vehicles flew here during that close encounter, and their occupants started co-mingling with normal humans, it would explain a lot about where we are right now."

Niles Bledsoe also insists that hints about the mysterious planet can be found in numerous Grade-B science fiction movies from the 1950's. "Somebody in Hollywood must have known what was going on," he says. "Just for example, President Obama lives in a female-dominated household. Then you look at films like Cat Women of the Moon and Devil Girl From Mars and see how all the pieces begin to fall together."

The Bledsoes say they have telephoned their local Romney campaign headquarters offering to make speeches about the impending menace of the Obama world but so far their calls have gone unanswered.

"That doesn't mean we're going to shut up," Niles insists. "This is a real-life alien invasion movie and there's still time to write a happy ending!"