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Jen M.L.

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Things I Could Do Before I Had Children

Posted: 02/ 8/2012 8:48 am

I had a makeover last night with some of my girl friends. We got our hair styled and we got our make up done and then we went out for dinner.

Sitting in the chair at the salon, the stylist noted that my hair is "cute." She said, "Do you always wear it so ... flippy?" Why yes I do, I thought flippy was in. Is it not? She said, "It's OK, we can tone it down a bit with the straightening iron." Then, she proceeded to straighten the sh*t out of my hair and make it smoke (literally). When she was done, she said, "There. Now you don't look so much like a mom!"

The makeup artist was not as diplomatic. She said, "I'm going to have to do something about your brows." Oh yeah, I need to get them waxed. "Yes, you do. Soon. I'll do what I can. In the meantime, let's draw attention to your eyes so the brows don't stand out so much." I told her to break out a new bottle of concealer, because I was gonna need it. She chuckled, but didn't argue with me.

As I sat there in the chair having all my wrinkled badges of motherhood covered up with flesh colored putty, I started making a mental list in my head of all the things I used to do before I had kids. Things like waxing my eyebrows (and my bikini area), wearing more than one color of eye shadow and picking clothes without first checking the tag to make sure something was washable with no ironing required.

Here's the list I came up. I'm sure you can add to it:

Disclaimer: Before you start commenting that I don't love being a mom, that I don't appreciate the time I have with my kids, that it's "sad" I feel this way, blah, blah, blah... That's not true, so thank you very much for your opinion, but all of this is mine.

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Now I need a suitcase full of nothing but lovies, bedtime books, Shout wipes, wet wipes, anti-bacterial wipes (yes, I keep the wipes business going single handedly), coloring books, markers, games, snacks, First Aid kit, and extra batteries. That doesn't even include the additional suitcase I need if we're going to stay somewhere with a pool or near the beach.
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A version of this blog post originally appeared on People I Want To Punch In The Throat.

 

Follow Jen M.L. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@throat_punch

I had a makeover last night with some of my girl friends. We got our hair styled and we got our make up done and then we went out for dinner. Sitting in the chair at the salon, the stylist noted tha...
I had a makeover last night with some of my girl friends. We got our hair styled and we got our make up done and then we went out for dinner. Sitting in the chair at the salon, the stylist noted tha...
 
 
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06:57 AM on 02/18/2012
my gosh, you hit the mark right on! I miss all those things, but then I feel guilty if I actually get to have some "me, myself time"
09:24 AM on 02/16/2012
I'd like to add "jumping jacks" to the list. oh, you know why.
12:44 PM on 02/14/2012
This was great!! I agree with them all! I would add that once I do get some me time and me money suddenly my teen and tween do also and want to come with me to the salon or get mommy daughter mani/pedis! There is no escape! LOL!
08:22 AM on 02/14/2012
I LOVED this! Not the cheesy ones I'm used to reading about momhood, but SO true. The one about children dying...all of a sudden my fingers are in my ears like a little kid going 'la la la' so that I don't hear it. I need to change my couches, but figure what's the point? And I don't understand why I can't wear heels anymore!
11:02 PM on 02/13/2012
I absolutely love this blog!!
11:01 PM on 02/13/2012
As a new mom I absolutely loved this blog!!
10:35 PM on 02/13/2012
I want to be able to eat some junk food or candy without having my kids ask to have some. I should be a lot thinner...!
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Allena Tapia
Will write for food
10:01 PM on 02/13/2012
Nah, this should be "Things I Could Do Before I had BABIES" cause about 90% of these things go back to normal when they are older.
04:14 PM on 02/13/2012
Never say, "I'm bored, what should I do today?"
10:02 PM on 02/12/2012
Great blog, BTW! I must commend you on the lightheartedness with which you approach motherhood. Many of these I can relate to on some level. I am one of only 3 grandkids out of about 55 on my paternal grandparents' side who didn't had bio children. (Tho I am custodial stepparent to a 15 y-o). Needless to say, HUGE extended family here. Lord knows that my maternal instincts have about as much mileage as women I know who've given birth numerous times. I've played the "Other Mother" role forever, enjoying being the extra hands when sisters, brother, cousins, niece, friends need a break from their kids - helped raise my oldest niece when my sister died of cancer. I am certainly NOT suggesting that my role is the same as full-fledged parenting, but I am saying I understand WELL. Like when hubby and I get ready for church with just our teen son, it's easy to get out the door. But my goodness, the weekends I have "custody" of my twin nephews, JEEZ it's AMAZING how much extra time it takes to get going...how much extra effort it takes to be on time or focus on much else! Especially when they were babies: packing bottles, extra clothes, diapers, rattles, teethers, etc. I do admire parents! But not so much so that I HAVE to have my own. I like my altruistic auntie-ism role helping to raise the many wonderful kids that God has surrounded me with!
09:25 PM on 02/12/2012
...implied. You know just like I know that MANY, MANY men and women have become parents yet still did not grow up...hence the colossal ruins we have among American youth!!!!!!!! The blind leading the blind. I have been working with children since I was a pre-teen and I have gone on to do much work with kids: youth advocate, volunteer in women/children’s shelters, Sunday School teacher and now school teacher. One thing I can assure you of through my experiences is that parenting does NOT lead to maturity or a decision to “grow up” as you put it. Acceptance of responsibility, on the other hand, does! Remember...the vast majority of children are UNplanned...as yours probably were. But you don't need to attempt to insult those who don't have or don't want children by trying to make your choices/or unplanned fate more superior to ours. I see much more stupidity and selfishness among parents than those who are not parents. I totally applaud anybody who is mature enough to realize they don't want to parent and take the necessary steps to make sure not to conceive. I understand your comment was merely YOUR opinion, but I suspect that you've been living under a rock Dearest!
09:22 PM on 02/12/2012
...Julie Schenecker of Tampa Palms, FL? The woman so exasperated with her teenage children talking back to her that she bought a .38-caliber pistol and planned their murder and her suicide. How about Andrea Yates of TX...mid 30ish mom who drowned her 5 kids? What about Theresa Cross Knorr? Or Lashanda Armstrong of NY...the story last year of the woman who drove herself and her 4 kids into the river? (Fortunately one was able to escape.) I could go on and on. These are just the MOTHERS...I didn't even get started on the father killers. What I'm saying to you O Wise Woman is that these were PARENTS who did their children - and usually themselves - in!!!! How about you explain to me the maturity in these cases? And don't come tellin' me about their mental issues. Most of these b**ches were NOT crazy!!! They usually know EXACTLY what they're doing. And the ones they truly may have had mental problems...well, then they probably had those problems BEFORE they chose to go breeding. The more "grown up" choice would've been to remain childfree. No, they were just selfish people who were either too fearful or prideful to ask for help and most were probably ILL-SUITED for parenthood in the first place. They prove my point that having children does NOT magically catapult one into the ultimate maturity and "grown up" status as you have...[continued]
09:21 PM on 02/12/2012
Quote: "I firmly believe that people who don't have kids don't truly, really grow up. No job gives you the responsibi­lities that can even compare with being a parent and having the responsibi­lity of every aspect of another person's life which you love more than your life."

How sad! That you didn't consider yourself a grown up until you had kids. This kid of mumbo-jumbo garbage is yet another sign of the 'cult of motherhood' trying to reign supreme. Are you friggin' kidding me? Sweetheart, I'm 39 and have never given birth but I can assure you that I am MUCH more "grown up" than many of the parents I encounter...that we all encounter. Parenting does not automatically grow people up! Where in tarnation have you been hiding? Have you ever taken a peek in to the foster care system in America - doesn't matter which state...they're ALL running over with children who were born to idiots who neither had any foresight, preplanning or even a modicum of how to make responsible reproductive choices and/or to assume responsibility for their little breeding accidents. Wake up Honey Bunch! Go interview some of the wardens of the juvenile detention centers across the country and ask them if they think the parents of ALLLLLL those miscreants in their care ever "grew up."

Does the name Susan Smith ring a bell? Yes, the SC woman who drowned her sons in the mid 90s. How about...[continued]
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Fran Jaime
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07:12 PM on 02/12/2012
Thank you, so much! I loved these! I adore my kids but I do miss some of these things. The good thing is that as they grow older you get the opportunity to do more of these things again!
I was born in the 50s and I think my dad was not very typical in that at dinner time since I was around 5 or so, he would have my mom sit down and he, my sister and I would bring things to the table as needed. He always said that my mom deserved to eat a hot meal!
10:44 AM on 02/12/2012
Great list! My Husband and I had a little laugh remembering how things used to be:) While we wouldn't change a thing and enjoy our 4 kiddos, we loved life before them too!