THE BLOG

I Canceled My Online Dating Account!

04/15/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

I am free. I feel liberated. I canceled my online dating account.

Let me clarify: I deleted my account entirely. I did not just hide it, put it on hold, or some other variation of not fully committing to the deletion process. Ignoring the online dating service's warning that I would never be able to retrieve my account after making the big move, I placed my cursor above delete and wholeheartedly pushed down -- no regrets.

I think the online dating service had regrets though, because it kept trying to change my mind. After realizing that I was serious, it finally threw in the towel and asked one last question: "Have you found someone or are you just giving up?"

One of my favorite quotes is Winston Churchill's words, "Never, never, never give up" -- I checked the box that said,"I give up."

But am I really giving up? No. I'm just tired. I am taking a break from strangers sending me messages like, "Hey babe! Let's get together tonight," or some misspelled variation of the same. (I don't understand why more people don't take advantage of spell check technology!) I am taking time off from the anxiety and stress I experience in the online dating realm. I am going to stop trying so hard to meet someone. Anyone who has given online dating a shot knows that it takes time and energy. I am making a decision to spend my time and focus my energy elsewhere -- like on just living my life. If I am supposed to meet a special guy, I will.

As I go about living my life, I will practice being more open and approachable. In the past, when a guy -- someone I could actually be interested in -- looked at me in an airport or coffee shop, my usual move was to turn my head away and fast. This is not the most effective strategy to meet someone. My friends have told me that I need to smile more and make eye contact. I'll work on that.

Another infamous move of mine is to give mixed messages to men I am truly interested in dating. While talking with a man I actually like, I might go on and on about how great some other guy in my life is. Again, pushing people away like this is not the best thing to do if you are trying to form a genuine connection.

Finally, I am going to just go with the flow, let things happen naturally without manipulating or controlling.

I'll get back with you and let you know how I do with these things. If you have any words of wisdom or thoughts to share, please post a comment or two here.

Single in Music City,

Jenni

P.S. I just received an email from the online dating service asking me to consider jumping back in. I don't think so. Not now anyway. I will jump into my life though!

This piece is in a series I am posting related to dating. You will also find this series on my Facebook Notes page. (There are already some great comments posted on Facebook from others!) If you have dated me and you are reading this, thanks for being a part of my experience. This is all in good fun! I am grateful.