How To Give A Gift

Desperate not to dread Christmas this year, I made a decision to be more mindful about my gift giving, and yesterday I put the policy into practice for the first time. I gave a beautiful 60-hour pumpkin-colored pillar candle in a frosted glass vase with its own little lid. I chose it for the woman who gives me a massage every other week at the chiropractor's office. I have never said more than "I'm fine," "How are you?" "That pressure is fine," or " Thank You," to this woman.

She is a professional, and she just does her job - which is to assist me in keeping migraines at bay. But when I thought about a good reason to give a gift, I thought immediately of her quiet, healing presence. When she received the package, her eyes lit up. She broke out of her professional stance and threw her arms around me in thanks. I was able to tell her to her face how grateful I was for her, and for the work she did. It was perfect.

Here are the rules that led me to this mindful gift-giving moment, which are the rules that will guide me as I continue to fight off the temptations of the season - free shipping on amazon, terminally cheap pajamas at Old Navy, 20% off everything if only you buy today!

1. Give because you are joyful. If you are tempted to give because you feel obligated, or because you suspect the person is going to give you a gift, or because you happened to find something on sale, STOP. Knee-jerk giving is worse than no giving at all.

2. Give because you have a good reason. Before you make any purchases, name exactly what you are thankful for - for someone who sees my child for who they are; for someone who has helped me to heal; for someone who makes me laugh; for someone who makes my life easier. That way, instead of checking off names on a list, you're celebrating what's good in your life.

3. Give because you feel blessed. If you have the money to spend, it is because you have had an abundant year. Think of gift giving as a way of celebrating the harvest rather than an end-of-year burden that will inflate your credit card statement. If you don't have the money to spend, write a card and tell the person what they mean to you.

4. Give things you believe in. Look for things that were made by hand, that make you smile, that convey a certain spirit, that bring beauty to people's lives, that are good for the planet, that offer support to good people and organizations. Remember that spending money is a powerful, political, personal act.

For more holiday season tips , click here for more from Huffington Post's Living!

Comments

[ClaraB]

Giving is good. Any ideas as to how to receive? Honestly, this time of year, I don't want any gifts. Zero. Ok, maybe a box of chocolates. I'd be happy with a genuine smile and less grumbling about the season.

[Jude2004]

Better yet, don't inflict gifts on people who are just doing their jobs. Of course, they can always pass the gifts on to other people who are also just doing their jobs. End the ridiculous gift-gifting trend now.