The Making of a Novel: Trusting Your Past Self

The Making of a Novel: Trusting Your Past Self
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My kids are both fans of the TV show, "How I Met Your Mother," and so I have become a fan of it myself. It's clever, funny and well written, and it's over in half an hour. The whole premise of the show is based on this idea of Ted Mosby's "future self." His future self narrates the show, in fact, as he explains to his future children how he met their mother. In various episodes, Ted writes letters to his future self, and other characters reference their future selves, as well. Naturally, the idea of "past selves" plays into this whole set up.

My kids have taken this whole "future self," "past self" thing to heart in a way that's really very charming. On several occasions, when I have questioned why I did something -- agreed to do some job or event, or scheduled some ridiculously early plane flight -- they will say to me, "You have to trust your past self, Mom." What they mean is, my past self must have had a good reason and I shouldn't second guess it.

Today, spurred on by the fact that I finally hit 50 pages of my novel in progress, I emptied out "the bin" -- the plastic crate that holds all the articles I have clipped on my topic, and all the notes I have taken while doing research, and several books, and lots and lots of little pieces of paper covered with scribbles. "The bin" is a daunting thing to face. I spread everything out on the kitchen table, and made piles, each labeled for places and characters and concepts, as well as time line and plot.

A lot of the things in the bin were trash, and so I trashed them. Many other things in the bin were very useful, and I filed them. Then there were those little nuggets of gold -- fantastic scribbled notes that nailed something important -- and I had to laugh, thinking that my past self was really pretty awesome to have thought that thought, and taken the time to write it down.

There was one spiral notebook cover -- just two pieces of cardboard connected by the spiral, with no paper in between -- that held five of the most fantastic ideas. I have no idea where I was when I wrote on that eviscerated notebook, or what I was doing at the time, but it didn't matter. I completely trusted my past self. Wherever she was when she took those notes, and whatever inspired her to do it, that girl was on fire!

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