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Jennifer Ball
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Jennifer Ball is a proud mom, a writer, a teacher and a big fan of martinis. She is also an ex-wife who happens to be pear shaped. She blogs about divorce and martinis and being pear shaped at The Happy Hausfrau. Currently working hard to find ways to put off finishing her tragically hilarious divorce memoir/burn book "What To Do When Your Husband Leaves You." You can like her on the Facebook or find her cowering in the corner on Twitter as @happy_haus.

Entries by Jennifer Ball

Summer Camps I'd Really Like to See

(9) Comments | Posted March 16, 2016 | 1:11 PM

As I sit here, trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for my 15-year-old's hockey camp this summer (seriously? $500 and I still have to feed him lunch??), I can't help but wonder why there aren't really useful camps for our broods. I mean, yeah, my boy loves...

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Blind Faith: When Affair Partners Marry

(7) Comments | Posted February 1, 2016 | 3:44 PM

One of my kids and I were discussing religion. I was a soft Methodist growing up, and became a semi-soft Lutheran via marriage. What? You've never compared religion to cheese? I'm a Havarti, as opposed to an aged Parmesan. And now I'm hungry. As I was saying: the kids and...

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7 Ways College Kids Home For The Summer Are Exactly Like Mice

(1) Comments | Posted June 5, 2015 | 3:04 PM

I have two college kids. One lived in a dorm room a couple hundred miles away during the school year, the other lived in a big house with friends just a short drive from here. Both have come home for the summer, joining their two younger brothers, the dog and...

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The Divorcee and the Shower Massage: A Love Story

(0) Comments | Posted June 2, 2015 | 8:18 AM

I found myself in a strange position last night. No, filthy minds, there was no nudity or even another person involved.

I was standing, fully clothed, in my bathtub. I had a wrench in my hand and I was swearing profusely, not unlike a drunken sailor or a feral child....

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Old Flames: Are We Playing With Fire?

(1) Comments | Posted May 25, 2015 | 9:57 PM

A while back I posed a question to the people on my blog's Facebook page. I asked about the intelligence of meeting up with an old flame, who is now married. I said I was asking for a friend but I'm sure they are all smart enough to...

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The Girlfriend's Guide To (A Realistic) Divorce

(4) Comments | Posted April 30, 2015 | 11:14 AM

I was one of those women who had my babies when Vicki Iovine's Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy and all of the spawn books which followed it were super popular. Like, her first book came out when I was swollen with my second child, in 1995. Since I'd already read my...

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And You Call Yourself A Single Parent...

(5) Comments | Posted February 24, 2015 | 9:40 AM

Are you a single parent?

Careful how you answer. Some people are very protective of the term "single parent" and take great offense to those who throw that particular parenting label around all willy nilly.

A few weeks ago I was perusing the comment section on a post that appeared...

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Prayers for the Single Parent

(2) Comments | Posted February 13, 2015 | 4:08 PM

I'm not a religious person. I was born into the Methodist Church, married into the Lutheran one and spent over a decade teaching Sunday school and leading confirmation groups. At the moment, we are in between churches. In between religions, maybe. The older I get, the more I wonder about...

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8 Years a Divorcee: 8 Things I'd Tell My Freshly Divorced Self

(39) Comments | Posted December 18, 2014 | 10:31 AM

The holiday season is a crazy one. Time seems to move faster, obligations pile up all around us and there are hundreds of things we think we should be doing at any given moment. It's hard to put the brakes on in November and December. But that's exactly what I've...

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The Rage Clean

(12) Comments | Posted September 8, 2014 | 3:45 PM

My friend plopped down on the seat next to me at the restaurant. We were out for a rare but much-needed Saturday afternoon lunch date.

She took a sip of her Bloody Mary, passed me her olives, and began to gab.

"Everyone was pissing me off today. I woke up...

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Closing Time: Graduating Out into the World

(0) Comments | Posted June 3, 2014 | 11:05 AM

Closing Time.

Despite the fact that it's been played billions of times and on countless shows and movies (remember when it was on Friends?), it remains one of my favorite songs, sung by one of my favorite singers. Dan Wilson wrote the words and they have been bouncing...

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My Side of the Bed

(22) Comments | Posted May 27, 2014 | 5:11 PM

2014-05-26-BeFunky_bed.jpg.jpg

Ah, the advice you get when going through a divorce. It's plentiful. Some of it's useful.

"Start dating, NOW. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to find another husband!"

"Say goodbye to your in-laws. Even the ones you thought...

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An die Fremde, die meinen Sohn verletzt und trotzdem stark gemacht hat

(7) Comments | Posted May 2, 2014 | 5:32 PM

Hallo Jennifer, (Ich denke, diesen Namen kann ich gefahrlos veröffentlichen, weil er so verbreitet ist)

Mein Name ist Jenny (sehen Sie??). Mein Sohn hat einen Nebenjob in dem Supermarkt in unserer Stadt. Er arbeitet dort nach der Schule und an Wochenenden. Er spart für ein Auto. Oder für mexikanisches Essen...

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To the Stranger Who Ruined My Son's Saturday Night

(814) Comments | Posted April 30, 2014 | 6:00 PM

Hi Jennifer (I feel comfortable revealing your first name because so many of us share it)!

My name is Jenny (see??). My son has a part-time job at the grocery store in our city. He works there after school and on weekends. He's saving up for a car. Or Chipotle...

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The Ghost of Emails Past

(3) Comments | Posted March 6, 2014 | 1:31 PM

It was in a box of things from our old house. William, my 13 year old, found it in the back of his closet. "Mom..." he startled me. I was in the kitchen, searching high and low for something gluten free that would taste just like spongy warm French bread...

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Dance With My Boy

(7) Comments | Posted January 16, 2014 | 10:40 AM

William is my hockey player. He's 13 and is navigating the awkward, tenuous web that hangs between childhood and manhood. His face still looks like it has for the past five years or so: soft chin, wide eyes, smooth cheeks. But now there are bushier eyebrows, a smattering of zits,...

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7 Things You Totes Need to Stop Saying if You're Over 30 (Oops, There's One of Them)

(791) Comments | Posted December 29, 2013 | 7:13 AM

A lot of us are guilty of it. Especially those of us with teens, or tweens, or kids of any age who watch kid-centric television shows or who spend a lot of time on Instagram.

We start to talk like them. Words, phrases, the flotsam and jetsam of another generation's...

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This Is What You've Missed

(263) Comments | Posted October 21, 2013 | 1:49 PM

Next month would have been our 20th wedding anniversary. Would have, of course, being the operative words. If only, if only.

If only it had lasted. If only I could have seen what was going on, if only you had been brave enough and kind enough to have talked...

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Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Housewives

(1061) Comments | Posted September 8, 2013 | 1:36 PM

A few nights ago, I stepped knee-deep into a pile of Mommy Wars. Thankfully, it was a wholly internal incident, so the only witness to my slip into the eternal debate between working moms and stay-at-home moms was me.

But still... it was unsettling. You know me, right? I'M...

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Use the Good Stuff

(13) Comments | Posted August 6, 2013 | 4:52 PM

A few weeks back, on a Friday night, one of my best friends came over. We had a few glasses of wine, gabbed in the living room, and at one point I gestured over to the small dining table by the patio door. The table was covered with a variety...

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