More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Jennifer Chrisler

GET UPDATES FROM Jennifer Chrisler
 

Giving Thanks for Family

Posted: 11/23/11 02:50 PM ET

As a mother, I am grateful every day for the blessing of my family and committed to ensuring that my children are happy, health, loved and cared for. This week, as I prepare to celebrate this time of Thanksgiving, my heart goes out to children who have a very different existence from that of my children. These are the more than 400,000 children in foster care, who have no permanent family to call their own this Thanksgiving. Because of discriminatory state laws and outdated policies, many of those who want so much to be moms and dads and also happen to be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender cannot open up their hearts and homes to these kids.

There is hope that this could change in time.

This month, the Every Child Deserves a Family Act was introduced by Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), and a companion bill in the House now has 82 bipartisan co-sponsors thanks to the work of lead sponsor, Rep. Pete Stark (D-Calif.).

This bill would ensure that our country does everything possible to move children out of the foster care system and into permanent, loving homes. It would eliminate discrimination in foster and adoption placement policies based on the marital status, sexual orientation or gender identity of the prospective parents.

Also this month, President Obama issued a proclamation in recognition of National Adoption Month that clearly expresses his belief that adoptive families come in all forms.

It also represents his belief and ours that adoption decisions should be based on the best interests of children and that all qualified caregivers should be allowed to serve as adoptive parents.

We are making incredible progress, and it's because there are moms and dads all over the country who are incredible advocates in their daily lives. People who recognize that the only way for circumstances to change is to do something about it.

People like:

  • Mary Keane, a New York woman who decided to make a difference in the lives of foster youth by volunteering to become a foster mom at age 50. Now at age 63, Keane has 12 foster kids, ages 22 to 40. She has adopted five of them and plans to adopt five more.
  • Matt and Ray Lees, who perservered, in spite of their inability to adopt jointly as a couple in Ohio. Ray adopted three of their children and Matt is completing an adoption of five siblings whose drug-addicted mother could not care for them.
  • John Armantrout of San Diego, who was forced to hide his relationship with his spouse, Larry Moreno, because of the now-repealed Don't Ask, Don't Tell law. Armantrout ended his service to our country so that the two could facilitate the adoption of both their sons, Mike and Tristion.
  • Steven and Roger Ham, who are raising 12 children, all adopted from foster care, in Arizona, a state that makes it extremely difficult for LGBT people to create a family through adoption.
  • Martin Gill of Florida, who has become a tireless advocate for LGBT adoption after fighting in his own state to adopt two foster children he and his partner have been raising since 2004, and fighting successfully to challenge the constitutionality of a law that banned adoption by gay and lesbian people.
  • Rob Keeling, an adoptive dad in Virginia and a former board member of Family Equality Council, who spoke out eloquently this year demanding that his state prevent child welfare agencies from discriminating against qualified, loving parents simply because of their sexual orientation or family status.

Until Congress passes the Every Child Deserves a Family Act, we must all work to make a difference in whatever ways we can.

The people above have answered the call and done what they could to improve the lives of youth in foster care. Just like them, there are simple and easy ways for you to incorporate this into your life and have a huge impact.

One simple way is to urge your senators and representatives to support this urgently needed legislation.

Another way to is for you to recognize the loving parents who are working in their everyday lives to change laws, change the hearts and minds of policymakers and actively change the lives of children in their own communities. If you know someone like this, take the time to thank them.

This Thanksgiving, as we sit around the table with our families, I ask that you remember all the children who should be sitting around tables of their own in loving homes all across this country, but who have yet to find their forever families.

Give thanks for all of the people who are making a difference in the lives of these children, in ways both big and small.

I am thankful each and every day to be part of a community of people who care, and who are committed to creating a better world for all families.

 
As a mother, I am grateful every day for the blessing of my family and committed to ensuring that my children are happy, health, loved and cared for. This week, as I prepare to celebrate this time of...
As a mother, I am grateful every day for the blessing of my family and committed to ensuring that my children are happy, health, loved and cared for. This week, as I prepare to celebrate this time of...
 
 
  • Comments
  • 7
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Recency  | 
Popularity
10:08 AM on 11/25/2011
As a gay mom, I fully support the issues surrounding the adoption of children into gay families. What I do not support, however, is the over-commitment of couples who adopt 5+ children. We are the inter-family foster parents to twin 4-year who, in addition to our own 2 children, bring our child count to 4. Something we are told over and over again from the case worker and child therapist is that children who have been adopted or fostered after spending some time in the system require much more attention than the average child who has grown up "well-adjusted" in their family of origin or than the child who was adopted early in childhood. How are these couples providing the quality and quantity of attention needed to these 5+ children?
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fredimessina
01:38 PM on 11/25/2011
As a gay man who is adopted, I think that is for the adoptive parents to make that commitment.
If you have the emotional and financial means to provide for a large family, you should.
Having been a foster child before being adopted, I can also make for the case that I don't necessarily support "foster" parents that don't have the full intention of adopting the children they are fostering. The only thing an orphaned child wants is a loving family that wants them and are going to see them as their own children. Not "adopted" or "foster" I hated and resented the fact that I grew up with that term in my household. And as much as I love my family, I never forgot it.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bfry420
12:19 PM on 11/24/2011
Yes this brings a tear to my eye Happy Thanksgiving
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fredimessina
11:06 PM on 11/23/2011
Fantastic!!!
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Ioan Lightoller
Proud Married Gay Pagan Man
09:51 PM on 11/23/2011
I'm thankful my spouse and I are doing OK and I am really glad to see that kids are getting loving homes where they can receive nurturing and a life that they could not have had unless a loving couple had adopted them. Being a product of a neglectful birth family and a less-than-optimal emotional adoptive family, I understand the critical nature of a home and parents who can give love and emotional support as well as a secure home to kids. Bless all you parents out there who are able to gve your kids born or adopted that.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mjcc1987
Too many freaks, not enough circuses
04:56 PM on 11/23/2011
We are thankful we have the ability to give
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
thebearclaw007
Is your conscience functioning properly?
03:53 PM on 11/23/2011
I am thankful each and every day to be part of a community of people who care, and who are committed to creating a better world for all families.

I'm thankful that these communities exist and hope they become more numerous.