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Jennifer Cowie King

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Can We Stop Using the Word "Tramp"?

Posted: 05/06/2011 10:04 am

Over the last 10 years, the sexualizing of younger and younger girls has become a hot ticket item. Overwhelming in its scope, and fueled by retail sales, business is booming, and like it or not...we are assaulted by little girls "looking hot" on a daily basis.

Perhaps most outrageous of all, has been Abercrombie & Fitch with their marketing of thongs to 10 year old girls several years ago, to introducing The Ashley push-up bikini bra this year. Originally marketed to 7 year old girls, The Ashley was upgraded after public outcry, to the 12 year old girl market. "We've re-categorized the Ashley swimsuit as padded. We agree with those who say it is best 'suited' for girls age 12 and older." Not to be left behind, is Juicy Couture with the word Juicy cutely emblazoned on the derrieres of little girls' pants.

Two years ago, I was compelled to write about this topic when my 4-year-old daughter was invited to a Makeover Party. Will they wonder why we didn't stop the makeovers at 5?...

As a mother of a now 6-year-old little girl, I am alarmed for her, and for all of us. Why are we closing our eyes to this subversive continuum, this backlash to the Women's Movement that our mothers, and generations of women before us, worked so bloody hard on? Because it is all connected. Just follow the dots...

What better way of putting girls and young women in their place than telling them their entire worth to our society is in their desirability. And... that they better get started on being sexy now: in elementary school.

Fast becoming a malaise of our media driven culture, telling our young girls that they are the sum of their looks, and that their looks better be sexy, is damaging, and reprehensible. The intensity of peer pressure, and the assault of sexualized images in magazines, movies and television is oppressive. Like all children their age, they want to fit in. And, who can blame them. Which is worse? Young girls being victims of our societal apathy, or young girls emulating us? Because we are responsible here, people.

As if that weren't enough, bring on the "Tramp Stamp," a lower back tattoo, used "to emphasize sexual attractiveness." Looking like "a tramp" is fast becoming a rite of passage for many young women.

Girls dress suggestively, because our society's message is that it gives them POWER. You will have everything if you have the attention of men. But, when girls wrap themselves up in seductive packages, they don't have The Power. They have given it all away.

Tramp. Whether using the word as an epithet or embracing it (a.k.a., The Tramp Stamp), the word incites an emotional reaction in all of us. Because what we are really saying is that a girl or a woman is only the sum of her body parts. Calling another human being "a tramp" puts a label on that person. An otherness. Because, oh no... we are not like her or them. And, if we are asking parents not to dress their children like tramps, aren't we really saying... Parents, don't dress your girls like them?

Perhaps the bigger question is: Can we stop using the word "tramp"? Are we capable of having this conversation without the labels?

Encouraging young women to dress seductively goes much deeper than appearances. We encourage it when we frequent stores that sell these products. And, when we close our own front door, breathing a sigh of relief that our daughter doesn't look like that other girl, the one across the street.

So, what can we do? Yes, we can stop shopping at stores that sell provocative clothing for girls. We can stop purchasing those items for our daughters. But, we have to dig deeper. We have to talk with our daughters. The onus is on us. And, we better buck up, because it isn't going to be easy.

When our children ask us to buy pieces of clothing that perpetuate the sexualizing of girls, we not only have to say NO. We have to explain why. "I don't want you to look like a tramp" is a dead-end. There needs to be a deeper conversation.

Imposing an adult sexuality on young girls deprives them of the opportunity to discover who they really are. We have to stop placing all of a girl's worth on her body. We have to demonstrate that we value her being and intelligence, because we value our own.

"Tramp" is a provocative 5 letter word. We must be careful how we use it. Whether in slander or owning it, the meaning is the same. A woman is either being devalued or is devaluing herself. And, that is a message that we don't want to give our daughters, or anyone...

 
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03:35 PM on 05/20/2011
The bad thing is that the word TRAMP and its subsequent meaning only applies to women. If the word tramp was used towards men, the meaning would start to change, probably meaning something similar to stud or a hot guy who is wanted by many women.
11:18 AM on 05/30/2011
I am pleased that Ms. King wrote the whole column without blaming men; her argument is a good one. Patricia, on the other hand, immediately raises the tiresome flag of unfairness - somehow or other this is rigged in favor of men. You have probably never given much thought to this, but there are at least 10 or 20 ugly epithets directed specifically at men which could fill a number of columns like this one by Ms. King, and they are used by both men and women. In fact, it has become completely acceptable for women politicians to criticize their male opponents for their supposed lack of "cojones". We can't strike unpleasant words from the language, but we must certainly strive to demonstrate better manners, and that means not labeling our girls as tramps or our boys as _____ (at some point they would block my comment!).
iflew
Pro Publiae Bonae
01:06 AM on 05/19/2011
Cows are given hormones to make them produce more milk earlier. Humans provide cow milk to their children. The children ingest cow milk with hormones and develope sexuality earlier.

Movies and TV provides us with tittilating entertainment. Life emulates movies and TV, producing behavior modification different in more recent young adults and adolescents. Even in the days of great philosophers writings indicated the young did not respect their elders as much as the elders desired. Add the fact that children do as they see and not as they are told. Behavior alters. How we describe one another become changed in response to what is deemed desirable. If agressive, disrespectful behavior is accepted and rewarded then people become agressive, selfish, greedy and disrespectful. When people are admired for being uncaring, greedy and disrespectful others will accept the image of disrespect directed to them by those they consider powerful. That's why poor and mid class people vote repub.
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dadw5boys
Disabled Vietnam Vet
04:01 AM on 05/17/2011
No thats ok I will keep drawing a line she can not cross !

I will not tolerate her disrespecting her self. If she will not keep her self clean, presentable and her room clean she will be punished. She will not live like a Tramp in my home like some teenagers do.

My 11 year old Neice called 911 when my Sister was making her clean her room. The Sheriff came and they told my Neice if she was their daughter she would not be able to set down for a month with a room that filthy. I applaude them because my daughter would not set either with so many clothes on the floor it was a hazard to even walk in the room once got the door open.
04:37 PM on 05/16/2011
I CAN THINK OF AT LEAST THREE MEANINGS FOR THIS WORD, impossible to choose...! as none are WRONG.
06:20 PM on 05/13/2011
I love this magical thinking that troublesome naughty words all by themselves cause a veritable butterfly effect of ills in society. There's much more going on in the environment than communication styles. You could counter by introducing an ego development that focuses young people on the "larger self" of community and zone the mall sprawl of profitable but self-obsessed consumer conditioning out to the periphery.
02:59 PM on 05/11/2011
No, we can't stop using the word tramp. It just wouldn't be right.
11:56 AM on 05/09/2011
I agree with many things that you say. It's not a one way and easy job. Look at the first add right after your article: mom is 55 looks 35 ...Why do moms/women need to look younger? Why not look healthier, happier, active, kinder, .... We live in a culture that encourages us not to be who we are and be proud and feel smart of all these 'cheats'. look at all these photos, videos, and movies of our pop cultural icons. The technology is helping them to cheat to look thinner, whiter, sexier, younger, with bigger boobs and asses and the list goes on. And now, its contagion spreads to our female sports icons too. Who can be our girls' role models now?
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Aitch5
Scintillating
10:19 AM on 05/09/2011
Should this apply to the word Sl*t also?
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c-tom
Badges we don't need no stinking badges
12:27 AM on 05/09/2011
We encourage it when we ... we close our own front door, breathing a sigh of relief that our daughter doesn't look like that other girl, the one across the street. ?
08:17 AM on 05/08/2011
people judge people on what they see. tatoos; nose rings, hair styles define who you are.it may be whats on the inside that matters most but its whats on the outside that matters first.
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mhsden
If my dogs dont like you somethings Wrong !
07:49 AM on 05/08/2011
boo hoo some calls your daughter a tramp if I rember A parent has to aprove a tat on a kid under 18 it should be 21 and I dont see any one holding these girls down to put a xxxxx stamp on them tell it like it is im lucky and blessed my kids are bright enough not to get caught up in trends its how you raise your children is the problem most dont talk to there kids or dont know how so its over looked thats so sad I ask my daughter if she was thinking about it she said heck no just think what it will look like at gramas age eeeeewwww I love her : )
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eddy joe
welcome to the machine
06:01 AM on 05/08/2011
As if that weren't enough, bring on the "Tramp Stamp," a lower back tattoo, used "to emphasize sexual attractiveness." Looking like "a tramp" is fast becoming a rite of passage for many young women. Too late...it's been a rite of passge for the last 20 years. But we can teach our children the proper way to live, then it's up to them.
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Sister Bluebird
09:11 AM on 05/13/2011
I remember when those tattoos weren't "Tramp Stamps" It's a shame that it devolved into that. It is just about impossible to have this entire discussion when it's clear that most lack the vocabulary to really discuss what is wrong. And that is also true of the Mommy Blogger in question. Ask yourselves *Why, what these girls are wearing is *Trampish-- because until you can adequately describe what is wrong, it will just seem like old people complaining about those young whipper snapper people again.
05:34 AM on 05/08/2011
A forman I worked for in the 70's ( in the early years of this mess better put it (as we observed young girls on the streets of America), "Their goes another Future Tramp of America in Training". Sadly my daughter sports one of the mentioned lower back tatoo's. Weather they be a celiberty or other I find nothing sexy or desirable about back, breast or body tattoes. I find the opposite to be true. Sadly the boys have also taken up this mantle that also includes sloppines at all times of the day. They mostly look cheap, stupid and lazy. I complety agree with this ladies writings. How do we make our young generation wakeup? I am no prude and am not at all religious.
08:10 AM on 05/09/2011
Young woman don't look to older ones for advice anymore. When I was very young I used to buy used Vogue magazines and read the info from the older women, things about how to avoid the sun (great advice) and how to dress "elegant" sort of like French women do. Today nobody wants to look elegant, they want to look like porn stars and the worst look IMHO is an aging porn star.
02:55 AM on 05/08/2011
There is nothing "deadly serious" about this article. Kids grow up faster every year. Let them enjoy their new-found maturity. There will be plenty of time for "deadly serious" things later.
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eddy joe
welcome to the machine
06:03 AM on 05/08/2011
I have found the world to be full of adults that never grew up.
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celestialmotion
Everything has it's beauty,not everyone sees it
07:53 AM on 05/08/2011
And they are raising their children the same way.
avanteguard
Truth, Justice, and the American way
02:16 AM on 05/08/2011
We certainly do need to demand better behavior in treating women with respect, not just about sexuality but in other areas as well, it was one reason I was and am so very upset with the media and many on the left who showed such extreme prejudice and disrepect to Sarah Palin and her accomplishments, just because she was on the other side of the aisle, she was called horrible names, and horribly falsely accused and we should never again let our media set such a bad example, to our young girls, after call how can we expect our girls to develop self esteem when they see a strong, articulate, accomplished woman so viciously attacked....do we really want to teach them to just sit back and blend in, so they don't get vilified like that??
03:26 AM on 05/08/2011
I thought that the problem with Sarah Palin was that she was NOT articulate,intelligent or much else! I thought the problem with her was that she was just another pretty face,an embarrassment to women in power. That's why people were putting her down. No one wanted her in office,especially since McCain was so damn old. They were terrified that we could end up with this ignorant fool as president.
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IMRITENOTU
Awa an bile yer heid
04:33 AM on 05/08/2011
And You think Biden is an impressive alternative?
avanteguard
Truth, Justice, and the American way
11:58 AM on 05/08/2011
Meagan, it is perfectly clear that you have never ONCE listened to a single speech of Palin's, and I doubt that you could even state anything about her positions or policies or the ISSUES of the day....no what you are doing is simply buying the smear tactics of the far left radical media who smear her every day for NOTHING, I bet you don't know that before the media smears...she was the MOST effective gov in the usa with an 87% approval rating, or that her budget was balanced every year, or that she put members of HER OWN party in jail for corruption,....so go ahead...tell me just one thing about the issues that she is so "ignorant" about....in any case if you still think she is less than desierable as a politician, do you still advocate denigration of her as a woman??? how about t shirts...with the front with saying that we saw many times at DEM rallies that said Sarah is a cu---- even if you disagree 180 degrees with any woman's policies and political views, is THAT what we should be teaching OUR young kids? Or should we be teaching them to listen to both sides and treat both sides and all women (and men) with respect, equality, and then decide if we want to vote for them or not?