THE BLOG
03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Tigers Are People, Too

The nation has been in an uproar since Tiger's back windshield vs. Elin (and golf club) incident, and even though over a month has passed since this man's little secrets began bubbling to the top of his picture perfect appearance, it appears we are not done airing his dirty laundry. He has apparently been forced into a rehab of some kind, and as our First Amendment tells us we are entitled to do, America is voicing opinions.

Random internet warriors are eager to share two cents worth of comments on news sites, screaming things like "Simply stated Tiger is an extremely selfish man with blatant disregard for his children, wife, and fans," ... "Addiction to white women with blond hair? I wonder how would they treat and cure this one?" ... "Sex addiction is in blood. No therapy in the world will cure it," and my personal favorite "I don't care. Private matter. Move on." The world has yet to agree upon sex addiction being a valid addiction/problem, and whatever I say here on the subject doesn't really matter. My reader has made up his/her mind about such things, and there is no amount of convincing that would sway your opinion. That's just how it is. And I'm fine with that. I hate people telling me how to think, and shut off when I come across a writer who is pushing ideas or beliefs that don't correlate with my own. Occasionally something will happen to change my mind, but very rarely is that change because of something said or written. It's usually from an experience, which life serves up on a daily basis.

My experience with Sex Rehab was different than I thought it would be, and if Tiger actually did enter a sex rehab I'm sure the experience will be different for him, too. The press says Tiger's handlers forced him into a clinic, but I went against what my bosses said would be best and entered as a joke. My intentions were to sabotage the whole set up. I wanted to bang the boom guy, screw with Dr. Drew, and paint penises all over the walls with toothpaste. It wasn't until we dove into the intensive therapy sessions that I realized there are some serious issues afoot, and I have some serious soul searching to do if I'm ever going to participate in a healthy relationship.

I, like Tiger, had many mistresses. And misters. Some were porn stars, some were random folks I met on the street, some where close and some were far. Like Tiger, I had fans that were let down when they knew the truth... That I have an incredibly hard time being intimate with other human beings. And like Tiger, I had to maintain the appearance of a perfectly happy whore to keep people watching. There is a ton of pressure when people we don't know require us to be perfect, and it only adds to the pressure a perfectionist places on him or herself. And just like Tiger, my career as a porn star suffered greatly (in fact it died in the water) as an effect of entering rehab. But unlike Tiger, it seems the nation wants me to recover and become a healthier, happier human being. There is the occasional naysayer who throws a stone in my calm pond, but I find that most of what people say is a reflection of how they feel about themselves, and not how they feel about me. So why is it surprising that he's entered a rehab, and why is rehab a bad thing? Why are we vehemently against the idea of sex addiction as an actual disorder, and so quick to say it's an excuse to behave badly? Why isn't Tiger getting the same support I am in confronting his demons?

I can only answer these questions personally. I'm not surprised he's gone to rehab, and I don't think it's a bad thing. My entire life changed as a result of a rehab reality TV show, and I hope the clinic he's reportedly checked into provides a safe place for him to explore the motivation behind his actions as well as create a program for healthier living. Because he deserves it. I was against the idea of sex addiction and thought it a joke because I was unwilling to look at my own behavior, and unwilling to change. But once I accepted there's a possibility I suffer from an intimacy disorder, my life started changing for the better, because I knew the problem and was in the right place to address it. As far as support goes?

The nation supports me because I was the underdog. Porn star doesn't rank high on the occupational food chain, and to see a woman rise from her knees to walk with grace and integrity is inspiring. I don't want to see my heroes fall to the ground, and I don't even want to see the chinks in his armor. But now Tiger is officially in that underdog position, I can only hope that we, as a nation of underdogs, can support the decision to seek help. We'd only want the same for ourselves.