To say that Christianity has a troubled public image when dealing with the LGBT community is an understatement. Thanks to a vocal minority of conservative American church leaders, domestic Christianity appears to be synonymous with homophobia and bigotry. For far too long, some obscenely loud church "leaders" have been allowed to lazily paint the queer of our society as a blight on God's good Earth. What started as a childish jibe, "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve," has exploded into hateful and abusive assertions such as naming AIDS the punishment from God for queer wickedness. Such theologies and rhetoric have left in its wake a good number of straight and queer folk who been minimized, shamed and angered that such a use has been made of their faith. No wonder many Christians consider distancing themselves from religion, much in the same way as Anne Rice did last year, when she denounced the religion of Christianity (but not her faith).
For a religion whose pursuit of love has primacy, it seems unthinkable that any workable theology could endorse a practice that would in any way encourage a devout mother to tell her own queer child to douse herself in gasoline and set herself alight. In or out of the church, this type of behavior is extremely abusive. But the truth of the matter remains, the acts of some so-called "Christians" have tarnished what is to many of its followers a peaceable, inclusive faith.
So why on God's green Earth would any queer person (or straight person, for that matter) want to hold on to such a faith? To attempt to understand, it seems important to make the distinction between spiritual practice itself and the people who practice it. For many, including me, Christianity it is the native language by which we engage our spiritual selves. Whether culturally born into it, raised as Christian by one's family, or adopting the faith by choice, it is a very personal journey that has written itself into the fabric of our personalities as irrevocably as our own sexuality. I can no more adequately explain to an atheist my persistent gravitation to matters of faith than I can my sexuality to a homophobe. The driving question is, will I be allowed to navigate these mysteries with freedom and the companionship of friends, or will I be required to live out my days under the authority of a religious dictatorship?
Here is the truth: "coming out" from the "closet" can be a deeply psychological and spiritual journey. It should not be surprising, nor overlooked, that many who have found themselves struggling for personal identity and self-worth should return to their spiritual communities for support.
The good news is that there is growing support within religious communities of all brands. Many Christians are beginning to recognize, apologize and facilitate LGBT people of faith with strengthened voice. Mainline Christian denominations such as the Episcopal church, the ELCA, Metropolitan Community Churches and Disciples of Christ are just a few of the recognized institutions of faith that are fostering, funding and acting out a progressive vision of inclusion and support.
If the adage is true that evil persists because good people say nothing, then let those who have fostered such debilitating anti-gay rhetoric be put on notice. Gay Christians are pushing back, reclaiming their faith and standing up for their legitimacy to pursue God. Straight allies, clergy, divinity schools and just plain, ordinary Christian folk are no longer content to sit idly by and let the attenuated, conservative few dictate the terms of how anyone should proceed in their faith.
It is precisely because LGBTs have not lost their faith that this has become an issue. We have refused to be marginalized. We have ceased to be insignificant. We have been valuable friends, families and leaders in our churches. We have added to the spiritual conversation: Who am I that God would be mindful of me? We have brought honor to that conversation and the church is listening.
Believe it or not, many Christians are learning from their mistakes. Though some congregations and denominations persist in the practice of removing any in their ranks that would support queer spirituality, others have stepped up and acted with compassion and open-mindedness. The result of LGBTs coming out of the closet not only in terms of sexuality but also with their spirituality has led to amazing dialogue, healing and strengthened church communities.
Just a few faith-centered organizations engaged in the dialogue include Human Rights Campaign: Religion & Faith, the United Methodist Reconciling Ministries Network, Association of Welcome and Affirming Baptists, Gay Christian Network, The Marin Foundation, Believe Out Loud and Faith in America. All are great starting places for educational resources as well as networking to find a local church. Gay or straight, these folks are waiting to hear from you as you share your stories, concerns and needs.
While, for many, the costs remain high, it is vital that those who can speak do so. By sharing what we have been through, we honor those who seek to right the wrongs we have endured. By sharing our story, we create opportunity and sanctuary for those who are still gaining strength. By listening and believing in the journeys that we share, you give us permission to continue to have faith, hope and love.
Follow Jennifer Knapp on Twitter: www.twitter.com/jennifer_knapp
Monique Ruffin: Occupy Christian Oppression
There ARE faith communities that accept ALL people! In the more rural places, they may be harder to find, but they are there. There are social groups, support groups - PFLAG, queer alliances, university/college groups, high school GSA's - wherever you can find them. Sometimes, online faith communities, like the one's mentioned above, as well as ChristianGays.com, etc may be the only forum accessible to you.
No one is alone! It may feel like it, and sometimes you may have to hunt and search, but the "family" you find may be more family than your own blood. Peace be with you all and much love!
My prayers take the form of conversations --- maybe one-sided on my part, but then when one talks as much as I do, I assume God is just listening and considering my petitions on behalf of myself and others. God's response may come immediately or it may come surprisingly long after I had forgotten what I prayed about.
I imagine all gay people of faith --- indeed, all PEOPLE of faith --- have similar relationships with the deity they believe in. What's said is confidential between us and God. There's no reason to think that anyone, gay or straight or someone in between, cannot feel that assurance, simply because of an issue like to whom they are attracted.
I don't claim any special knowledge of God. All I can say that I do know is that when a prayer of mine is answered, I know where the answer is coming from. I'm a gay man. So I believe that God will petition anyone who comes to God with love, humility and sincerity in his or her heart.
The truth is, we won't have a majority movement of open and affirming churches until the root of anti-gay theology is cut, which is a literalist approach to the Bible. This is a narrow theology that can't recognize the historical and cultural conditions of scripture, naively believes the Bible's teachings are self-evident, with no need for retranslation and reinterpretation, and holds to its universal applicability. These assumptions and more do not hold up to scrutiny when one takes an objective look at the Bible. In my evolution from conservative evangelical to progressive believer, I have discovered so many misreadings of the Bible and the truth that is is a far more progressive book than most imagine (barring some problematic passages).
Yes, there is some good news and we're headed in the right direction--and part of that is people like yourself coming out. I applaud you for your public affirmation on Larry King--but nevertheless, there is still a long row to hoe to achieve LGBT spiritual equality among Christians.
I continue to be challenged & fascinated by my own tendency to seek validation by holding a majority position. Time after time, I always manage to discover some position where I am a minority place-holder, yet question whether or not that invalidates the experience I've had due to its rarity. In recent years I've come to learn that many people describe their sexuality and spirituality as being on a continuum. Some people hold their place, others are more fluid over time...the questions that continue to interest me are these: Should we seek to hold one single place on these continuums as "right?" Or should we encourage the diversity of experiences revealed? How do we best enact hospitality in the midst of difference? And how to we maintain confidence in our own experience?
(If anyone's interested: author/former Anglican Primus of Scotland Richard Holloway has some curious insights on spiritual continuums.)
I have a friend (no, not me...I'm atheist) who belongs to an "accepting" church. Actually, it is really accepting. I have met the minister. I bare him no negative judgement. Still, my friend who is gay, and who attends this church, and who goes to their councillor once a week, has not had sex (OK, what do I know other than what he tells me?, but that too is telling!) in 8 years.
I still believe that monotheists are homophobic. Regardless of their rhetoric. Certainly I am wrong in some instances, but am I wrong in general? Probably not.
It's amazing how much of a difference it makes when people you love are out. My cousin has always been out so my family have always been advocates of marriage equality but for many families, they have no idea that they already love someone who's gay and churches may not know that they already have amazing leaders who are gay.
Another point that must be clearly understood is that God is love but salvation is conditional; there is no license to sin just because Jesus died for our sins. .Salvation is dependent upon believing in Jesus as God (John 3:16), repenting of sins (Mark 1:15), Loving God and humanity (Mark 12:29-31), having the forgiving heart (Matthew 6; 15) and maintaining one’s faith (Hebrews 11:6). Again, because of the iniquity in each of us, one cannot appeal to God saying that, “I’m a good person...isn’t that enough?” No! This is a crucible and ALL of the hard work has been done by Jesus; the part we must do involves humbling ourselves (not arguing over what this Christian didn’t do or the fantastic claims in the Bible). It’s about the individual realizing that they are sinners and have been given Grace and Mercy. If one keeps his/hers faith while sometimes going through “hell” (think of Job) they will be in good shape for the transition phase (death). God doesn’t condemn…the person does.
Keep your faith, He who endures to the end will be saved (Mark 13;13).
I, for one, am tired of being lumped into the "hateful, vengeful Christian" group. I am a Baptist but I do not hate homosexuals, it is the sin that is to be hated not the person.
End of part 1…
I see no evidence that proves they are the minority at all. If anything, those who embrace tolerance and diversity seem to be the lunatic fringe.
Ms. Knapp, thank you. That was the single most trenchant, spot-on sentence I have read in weeks.
Homophobes and theophobes both lack some fundamental instinct for seeing the world as it actually is.
What you quoted is not spot on. Reason and logic is how you attempt to lift the veil for a homophobe because they're mired in ignorance. The same approach does not work with an atheist because reason and logic were the vehicles that got them to that point.
Apples and oranges.
Jennifer Knapp, you sang the soundtrack to my discovery of Christ and myself in Him. The gratitude I have is rather embarrassing in light of not knowing you personally, but genuine, nonetheless. Keep shining.
Torturing yourself over a couple of sentences in a book written by men will not bring you the peace you seek.