Due Diligence: It Applies to Love, Too!

Lots of people seem to jump head-first into love and marriage without really performing the necessary due diligence, and our thinking is this: If you are willing to exert the effort to build a business plan, or a career, isn't it even more important to do so for one of the most significant partnerships of your life?

In layman's terms, due diligence involves the examination of costs, benefits, and risks for any venture you're about to take on. So how does this apply to love? Well, it helps to think about all the things involved in a relationship, and what scenarios might come into play as you grow together. It's important to spend a lot of time talking to your intended about your future goals, dreams, plans, concerns, ambitions, and limitations. Spend a good deal of time with their family and friends - soon these might be your family and friends, too! In turn, have them spend time with your family and friends. See how your careers (or lack of) affect or have the potential to affect both of you on a day-to-day basis, or over the long term. Look at what you argue about now, and imagine if that conversation were to continue for another 20 years.

Seriously talk through the big stuff - kids, retirement, career goals, money habits, your penchant for risk, your plans about moving your grandparents into live with you, your dream of becoming a foster parent, running for public office, or disappearing to an island for a few years sometime down the road. Forecast different scenarios in their best and worst case; it's important to consider deal-breakers when it comes to risks, reactions to different situations, and things that might tear you apart. Yes, people can grow together and change a bit, but most of the time major problems that develop in relationship leave a good trail of clues early on if you pay attention.

Follow Jennifer Kushell on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ysnjen

Comments

[Henry]

Here's a business thought for you: Similar to credit bureaus with FICO scores for obligors, you develope a number based system for "players" in romance that would include education, ethnic, salary, default etc into a data base from which a numeric can be derived and you sell this as a service to prospectives!
(I always wondered what kind of grades my wife attained in Home Economics!)

[yowza1]

Well that stuff is all well and good when you have partners on an equal footing. Some of us men have dived headlong into any relationship where we could get some acceptance and sex and need to find a way to grow out of that. Unfortunately I didn't find the "normal" path to love and marriage and found women to be very rejecting of my unconventionality. Those I did find were either wackos or unfaithful.