For three days, we have been waiting.
For three days, those who care about marriage equality in New York have waited, huddled outside of doors, as Republicans have conferenced, as they've met privately with the governor, as they've agonized over -- what? Certainly not the opportunity to do what's right and bring the gay marriage vote -- with an additional Republican signed on -- to the floor.
No, instead, as Republican Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos said early this afternoon, they are talking about extreme religious "carve outs" that would mean that if a florist, a caterer, a hotel -- or, say, an adoption agency -- didn't like those gays, well, then, they wouldn't need to serve us.
We have the right to not be discriminated against now. We have the right to adoption now. We are protected now.
And we can marry in Massachusetts (etc.) and have it legally recognized in New York now.
A bill that narrows instead of expands our rights is unacceptable. And no matter how heartbreaking it is, we must say no.
Marriage means a lot to us. And when I say "us," I mean me, personally, since I am engaged to a woman I love deeply and we are waiting on New York to get its act together to marry. But it is not worth it if getting married in New York means that we will be newly discriminated against. It is not worth it to suddenly have to worry that any business -- every business -- in New York State could suddenly discriminate against us because we are a lesbian couple.
That potential bill is a bad bill. It is not about compromise -- it is a backdoor to vicious segregation and discrimination.
Marriage that is defined as a union of two committed people for their mutual love and support does not "redefine" marriage. You know what would "redefine marriage"? A bill that makes it so that if you get married you have fewer civil rights than you had before. If anything killed marriage, it would be that.
The gay marriage bill as it stands is a good one. But accepting one with exemptions that are too broad is not the way to go. If that's our only option, then no thank you. We'll vote the Republicans out of office and try again.
Jennifer Vanasco is the editor in chief of 365gay.com.
Follow Jennifer Vanasco on Twitter: www.twitter.com/JenniferVanasco
.@Freedom2MarryUK : ensuring the Same Sex Marriage Bill continues through the Lords http://t.co/BdNurvLStr #gaymarriage
3 hours ago from web
.@Freedom2MarryUK : ensuring the Same Sex Marriage Bill continues through the House of Lords http://t.co/BdNurvLStr #gaymarriage
3 hours ago from web
|edgery & confused. That's Mormonism RT @SandiBehrns Donald Rumsfeld s Old, Thinks Gay Marriage Cld Lead To Polygamy http://t.co/PHjnBvWViD #p2 #TCF|
|StephenNolan (V) Tonight on #BBCNolan tv. Gay marriage - are you in favour?|
|IndyPolitics Gay marriage opponents warn David Cameron of 'long battle' ahead for Bill to become law http://t.co/Ku9Gqq2sbZ|
|HackneyAbbott Norman Tebbit: Gay marriage bill could mean lesbian queen giving birth to future monarch by artificial insemination http://t.co/7ODooeeDbY|
|AnneV Looks like the UK is getting closer to legalizing #gaymarriage! What incredible news! #marriageequality|
|CrainsChicago Op-Ed from Coco Soodek of @profitandlaws: Marriage equality is good for business, gays, lesbians and you http://t.co/AH07tQP2TF|
Anti-gay GOP nominee for Virginia lieutenant governor says marriage equality legalizes bestiality http://t.co/65GqIhOALo
21 hours ago from web
|mehdirhasan Liberal Democrat MP @GregMulholland1 Calls Student Constituent 'Disingenuous Little Shit' Over Gay Marriage Vote http://t.co/7NHAQi84lV|
|labourpress Lib Dem MP @GregMulholland1 Calls Student Jonathan Pryor 'Little Shit' Over Gay Marriage Issue http://t.co/mQsVmZahg9 reports @HPUKStudents|
|mehdirhasan "Gay Marriage: David Burrowes Accuses David Lammy Of 'Playing The Race Card'" http://t.co/H0m8E47rjF|
|His_Grace Following the gay-marriage vote, this is (unintentionally) amusing from @c_of_e website http://t.co/ryrYe8XoqC|
|mehdirhasan Gay Marriage Critics Not 'Bigoted' Says David Cameron, In Attempt To Heal Tory Wounds http://t.co/uOHXmd3EL7|
|BBCNormanS If PM had spoken out on "gay marriage" (as on @bbcr4today ) ahead of vote - suspect he would have peeled away good number of Tory "rebels"|
|BBCr4today LISTEN - Cameron: Gay marriage vote 'not first of many issues like that' #r4today http://t.co/FqoezNymBG|
|BBCNormanS PM says not going to be more "gay marriage" type issues and Govt now going to be focussed on economy @bbcr4today|
|LordPhilofBrum Now into the Lords where it will be approved. Gay marriage Bill passes Commons despite Tory opposition via @Telegraph http://t.co/98xkNORM8m|
|TheAuthorGuy French Historian Dominique Venner shoots himself in Notre Dame to protest Gay Marriage. Your move Santorum.|