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Jenny Block

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Hallelujah -- a Christian Sex Toy Shop

Posted: 08/30/2010 6:25 pm

Well, well, well. Just when I thought I had seen it all. Along comes Book 22, the online sex toy and accessory shop for married Christians only. (Although I don't think they check your ID...) Sure, it's a bit exclusionary for my taste personally. But at least they've got the goods. And if you think the Christian nomenclature equals tame, think again. These folks are not messing around.

What can you expect to find there? Well, there's the "Like a Virgin Kit" that includes, Ben-Wa balls, tightening gel, a tightening guide, and a how-to booklet. In case your lady gets loose or (horrors) was not "pure" from the get-go. There are a wealth of masturbation sleeves, including the "Head Honcho" inside of which are "three suction cavities, and as you stroke the Head Honcho up and down, it creates a pleasurable vacuum."

They actually offer a variety of sleeves, some of which include interesting disclaimers like, "This product is helpful when a married couple is unable to normally have sexaul (sic) intercourse. Sold as a novelty item only." So, do you use it to help when you can't have "normal" intercourse or is it just a gag gift? (No pun intended.)

Items designed to control premature ejaculation? Check. Condoms? Check. Dildos? Check. They've got lubes to make things glide, goo to make your naughty bits taste good, trampy lingerie, and plenty of things that go "bump" in the night. Batteries required. I love that they have the vibrators and masturbation sleeves listed under "Aids." I think I might start calling them aids. Sounds like I have an assistant!

Under special order they have items like "The Sexy Velcro Kit." I could not imagine what that meant. But just one click revealed that it contains a soft fuzzy red blind fold, a red pleasure feather, red fuzzy velcro wrist ties with tethers, and red fuzzy velcro ankle ties with tethers. S&M lite. Nice.

They also offer a cyberskin extender to enhance length and girth but which can also be used with a vibrator it says. Although it too includes the disclaimer, "For novelty purposes only." Uh huh. Me thinks the site doeth protest too much...

As for accessories, you'll find crotchless panties, remote controlled vibrating panties, and even a "Lover's Thong" with "sensual pearl-finish stroker beads." You can also find a non-piercing nipple jewelry, and "Head Candy" that will "allow you to feel and administer pleasure like never before...certified Kosher with a delicious passionfruit (sic) flavor!" Kosher. Good to know, especially for all of those Kosher keeping Christians out there.

And lest you be unsure how to use these items in a "Christian" way, fear not. Book 22 links visitors to "The Marriage Bed" for guidance. It also lists a number of other sites for reference, including "Christian Nymphos." It takes all kinds, my friends.

Let me reiterate, I hate to see any group claim that sex is of their domain and their domain alone. But, all kidding aside, I know that buying sex toys can be a daunting task. If this type of venue makes it easier for some to make that leap, well, it's a decent first step. Next step - playthings and orgasms for everyone regardless of marital status or sexual orientation! One day anyway.

In the meantime, no more excuses. For the unabashed, looking for product as well as info, there's Good Vibrations. For a site known for being particularly women-friendly there's Babeland. For those on the prowl for things that are deceivingly innocent looking but that still get the job done there's Natural Contours. And now, for those looking for something with a Christian vibe (pun intended), there's Book 22 . God Bless America!

 
 
 

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08:01 AM on 10/26/2010
I think we have to respect the church i know there are things that we can't avoid but the bottom line here is respect.
12:51 AM on 09/08/2010
Which one would Jesus buy? I can't say about him, but I'm sure Mary Magdalene would approve!
09:19 AM on 09/06/2010
This is as incongruous as the Gospel of Success.
11:58 AM on 09/03/2010
Not sure what I think about this. Maybe I was too messed up as a child-sex is wrong, etc. Did God marry Adam and Eve before they started procreating? Just sayin..............
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09:05 PM on 09/02/2010
Nevermind...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Heather Fowler
Why not be kind?
01:19 PM on 09/02/2010
"For novelty purposes only" reminds me of smoke shops labeling bongs "For tobacco use only."
09:07 PM on 09/02/2010
Not sure about Bongs, but Hookahs originally were meant for tobacco only.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Heather Fowler
Why not be kind?
10:15 AM on 09/03/2010
I doubt bongs were ever meant for tobacco, but now they're definitely not. And if you walk into any smoke shop, there's a big sign over all the products that says "For tobacco use only" which they're clearly not. This is at least true in New York, I don't know about other places.
07:28 AM on 08/31/2010
Despite the racy name, christiannymphos.org is a very good resource that strives to clear up the misconceptions about sex that the church has spread for centuries. Please don't dismiss it so quickly without reading the content on the site.
What Jenny has missed is the POINT of why places like book 22 exist in the first place. So many (if not all) sex toy shops (both web versions and brick and mortar shops) bombard you with nudity and pornography upon entering, and Christians find this totally unacceptable. Places like book 22 screen out nudity so make for a more comfortable shopping environment for Christians.
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mmike1969
07:11 PM on 08/30/2010
Nice way to use religion/the Bible to sell sex! I should of thought of this!