Honey, I Want to Sleep With Other People

06/18/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

Some people's inboxes are filled with spam. Mine is filled with questions. It's been that way ever since I began talking publicly about my open marriage. Unfortunately, the one I get the most frequently is one of the most difficult to answer.

Here's how the email usually goes:

Dear Jenny,

My husband/wife and I are interested in opening our marriage/relationship. I want to talk to him/her about it. But I don't know where to start. I'm afraid he/she will misunderstand and leave/be angry/be sad. What should I do?


If you're in an honest, loving relationship, you should be able to talk to your partner about anything. That doesn't necessarily mean he or she will feel the same way about the topic as you. But they certainly should be willing to listen with understanding and without judgment.

That, of course, can be difficult when it comes to this subject, as some people believe that it isn't possible to be in love with more than one person at a time or to have sex with people outside of a primary, committed relationship. But it is possible. Maybe not for everyone. But there are lots of successful "alternative" relationships out there. And that should be an assurance to you both.

The trick is this: you have to be willing to bare your soul and accept that you don't have control over what your partner's response might be.

To finish reading "Honey, I Want to Sleep With Other People," visit my new forum on the Tango Magazine website.