As a Mojo Expert/Life coach, I cringe when I hear other women speak so badly about their bodies. It hurts my heart. I want to shake them... softly, of course, and say, "Sister, you are beautiful! Now knock it off!" But I've been there, I know that talk well. Those mean, violent, evil little words spoken about our precious miracles of our bodies. I have bonded with other women over how we didn't like our bodies. I've used the self-deprecating humor. Until a few years ago, it was my norm to talk about how I felt fat, wasn't thin enough, and I needed to change my body. Even when I had lost 60 pounds, I thought my tummy was huge. I didn't think I'd ever be good enough.
That's what it all boils down to. Underneath all those words that complain about your body are the feelings of not being "enough." When we don't feel a core of worthiness, we can't let the good things into our lives and even if we manage to lose the weight, we still don't feel good. That's also why people gain it all back.
Be mindful about what words you use to describe yourself. If you can't speak kinder words yet, just stop with the negative ones. Write down a list of what you want to feel and say about yourself. Just like the word "fat" has such a negative charge on it, the word "thin" is not what we want to put as affirmation. We've heard the old saying, "You can never be too thin or too rich." Which... duh... you can die from being too thin. As a bulimic teen, I was so sad when I met this woman who looked like skeleton in the eating disorder unit where I was hospitalized. Thin isn't measurable either. When a goal is a certain number to be thin enough, you get there and then you have to tone up more (in your mind). "I am thin," doesn't feel as good as "I'm at a healthy weight for me. I'm strong. I'm fit. I'm healthy. I'm fierce." When you focus on "I am fit," after every workout, you are already there. Being positive with words will change your relationship with yourself.
Let those new sayings be the mantras you say in your head. Post those affirmations so you can see them on your mirror, in your car, at your desk. You are powerful and so are your words. What will your friends think? If they love you, they will want you to feel good about yourself. You may even inspire them to make some inner changes.
As you play with how you want to feel about yourself, look within at all the things about your personality that make you... you. What's unique about you? Celebrate that. Focus on that. Allow that to shine out. Let your inner light be seen. Putting your attention towards the good vibes will motivate you to do more good things for yourself and you will focus less on your body.
You may observe ads on TV or magazine covers that are trying to grab your attention with losing weight, looking younger, being BETTER in some way physically. I'm all for inspired action like starting a new workout class or cleaning up your diet. Notice what is prompting you. If it's from self-loathing, STOP. DO the work within and center yourself in your positive words. If it's from self-loving, GO FOR IT! When we don't take control of our words, we eat to soothe ourselves... to escape and be numb. You won't get anywhere good that way, you will just put on more weight. But you don't have to do that anymore because you are brave enough to look at your words that make up your new mindset. With this shift within, weight has a way of coming off easily and you feel better emotionally. You know what your true value is. You will look happier because you feel happier. That's the whole point anyway. Happy mindset making to you, fabulous folks.
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If you're struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.