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Jenny G. Perry Headshot

Supermom Has Retired

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Jenny G. Perry
Jenny G. Perry

She's burned her cape in protest of the idea of "having it all together." She did it to free all of us females.

What does "having it all together" look like? How the hell should I know? I've felt like things were falling apart more often than experiencing moments of having it together. The reality is we have no idea what is looks like, so how can we know if anyone has it together? I think a lot of women are suspicious of a woman who has it all together: The moms who have everything organized in their lives, their calendars color-coordinated by child, looking perfect all the time, are nice 24-7 and always have time for EVERYTHING, including baking, scrap booking, etc. You secretly wonder if they have extra hours in the day that you don't or have secret helpers.

People often think I have it together because I look cute. I like to wear jeans, put on makeup and throw on funky jewelry because it makes me feel good. I have five kids and four of them can talk, the other is only three weeks old. As long as I nurse her constantly, she's happy. The other kids are not so easy to please. They'll tell you I yell, forget stuff and make mistakes often. That I can look like a crazy lunatic if I don't get sleep, my hair is having a frizzy day or they destroy the house.

Let yourself off the hook.

I have more junk drawers than the normal person and plan on dying with at least two active junk drawers. I think about the "having a lot of balls in the air" analogy. Well, I can't juggle. The other one is having a lot on your plate. I groove on that one. You see, we all have a plate and we have the buffet of life. Some of us put a lot on our plate in equal portions. Some take small portions of everything. I take different-sized portions of things just like when I go out to eat. Is it about balance or what's healthy? Hell no! It's what I feel like. I may put a lot of bread on my plate and not a lot of salad, because that day I'm splurging and feel like being decadent. Your plate changes every day, week, month and year. Some things I don't bother putting on my plate, like having organized drawers. Maybe one day a year, I'll put it on my plate, but usually my hubby does that. He's good at knowing what to get rid of and I close my eyes while he does it. I have a tendency to save recipes, cards I like, and I'm sentimental about silly things. I'm not a hoarder, except maybe shoes and costume jewelry, but this fashion lover considers those necessities.

If you looked inside all your friend's brains at what is on their plates, you'd see vastly different ratios and combos. There is no wrong here, I'm not into judging others lives. Some moms do a better job than me at staying on top of school stuff. Some years my plate looked different, but adding my writing changed my plate and made me much happier. Add to that fitness, and my plate got fuller. I love to cook, but depending on what is going on, we might have something pre-packaged that is still healthy. Really, with my kids, if I make a big dinner from scratch, a few will complain and I'll wonder why I bothered. Maybe pizza is what I put on their plates, because I'm not putting stressing over dinner on my plate. Do what works for your family. You plate is yours. Don't apologize for what is important or not important to you.

I'm always honest about my life and my shortcomings. Some women will respond with, "Oh that makes me feel so better." As in, I feel better because you're not perfect, you suck at a bunch of stuff also and I can let myself off the hook. You don't need to worry about what other women are doing if you stop comparing yourself to them. Stop doing that. It's crappy. No one wins and it doesn't honor you or them. Just rock who you are to the max and remember perfect isn't really an idea you have to live up to. It's a word. If you have a picture of what that looks like based on what someone else's life looks like... STOP! Rip up the picture in your mind and let go of all that drama. You're free to just be you.

Supermom burned her cape so there is no more perfect or comparing ourselves to others; we can all put whatever we want on our plates. Knowing who you are and what you want is having it all together. After all, being true to yourself is a super power.