1. You do more pretend cooking in a miniature kitchen than you do actual cooking in the full-sized one (and frankly, you're not sure which meals taste better).

2. You secretly wish there was some mommy competition involving your child's trendy crafts because you're...

We Floridians are somewhat the butt of a running joke that the random, dangerous, and ass backwards things seem to happen here. Unfortunately, we tend to live up to this stereotype by constantly proving it true. People wonder why I'm such a...

Many, many things change after becoming a parent: Your outlook on life, your obsession with the application of sanitizer and sunblock, the intimacy of your marriage...

We still adore our men, but our alone time has little resemblance to the hot dates we once had. Wow, did we...

You know, that stage in a boy's life, when mom is not quite as smart, cool... or necessary as she once was? Sure, they want you to get them a glass of water when they're in bed. Sometimes, they'll throw you a bone and ask you to lay with them...

I've had some awkward V-Day Moments, from my 5-year-old trying to soap opera kiss me to my hubby trying to stuff himself and champagne into an undersized NYC bathtub in our undersized NYC apartment to my daughter telling me, I make her want to "puke of love". That...

You need special credentials to drive a car, take out a book and get a credit card, but there are no prerequisites to raise a child?

As a fairly normal adult with the means to raise a child, I admittedly had no clue what I was doing with my first...

I'm so tired of looking back at the resolutions of the past year and realizing they lasted no longer than a week, which is why this year, I've decided to make a list that's way less ambitious.

1. Gain Weight

I'm going to quit all good...

I wasn't going to write anything today, as I couldn't imagine sending out a humor piece right now, when we're all mourning and trying to comprehend such unfathomable evil and having enough trouble sending our own babes back to school. But, then it dawned on me: This is why I...

Do you get zits from unwashed pillowcases or cellphones?

Will you age the way your parents age?

Do retinoids make you more susceptible to sun damage or sunburn?

What's the magic ingredient you should look for in beauty products?

This week, I sat...

Us brown-eyed brunettes are tired of getting short-changed... Let's rise up against those chipper blue-eyed blondes -- I'll make the signs!

This morning, while my bestie, we'll call her Susan (because that's her name), was driving back from doing...

At 30-something-ish, I never thought my body would feel so geriatric. I mean, I don't even know how to play mahjong (yep, I'm behind the curve), though I do carry a cane so that I can shake it at teenagers while...

Here's my mini-survival guide to help you keep your sanity in The Suburban Jungle, 'cuz it may be suburbia, but it's a jungle out there.

Nearly a decade ago, I moved to the suburbs from NYC. In that time I've learned...

How many moms are stuck in the "Mom Uniform" rut: Grabbing the first pair of comfy sweats/jeans, throwing on a quickie tank/sweater, tying your hair in a pony tail, slapping on a little gloss and darting out the door?

The answer: Too many.

Which is why I've made a conscious...

Can someone explain why I still have "baby brain" when my kids aren't babies anymore?

Well ladies, many of us are years past changing diapers and yet, we still seem to have Momnesia. Frankly, my memory -- and ability to have a complete thought -- has gotten exponentially worse with...

On this week's episode of The Jenny Isenman Show, I talk with the Nutrition Twins, Tammy and Lyssie Lakatos, about juicing, juice fasts, superfruit smoothies, and teas in every color of the rainbow, which are all touted to be "the next best thing." They claim to do everything: They'll make...

Beware their 8 Mile lingo, t-shirts with moderately offensive sayings and fro-yo addiction. They're hoodlums alright. Well, they wear hoodies and they live in the hood, well, the suburban gated neighbor'hood.

The other day my daughter said, "I bet people who just meet us think we're sisters." Frankly, that's a bet I wouldn't take, but who am I to sneer in the face of lovely sentiment? I mean, that's the kind of phrase you would have to train (or pay) a...

When you walk into a Starbucks, it's a little like entering another country. Some of the language is "Italianish" and the rest is completely fabricated, yet...

I am EXACTLY the parent I swore I would never be... Are you?

I've journaled all my life and I very distinctly remember writing things that sounded somewhat like this: When you're a mom always be fun. NEVER make your kids eat vegetables. Let them have soda whenever they want,...

I know, you're thinking, wait, haven't I heard this one before?

Six.

Yes, the number is six. Crap, I kinda ruined the suspense on that one, huh? I shoulda' made you wait until the end. It was premature elucidation, which is fairly common...