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Jeremy Blachman
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Entries by Jeremy Blachman

Frequently Asked Questions About Girl Scout Cookies

(0) Comments | Posted February 21, 2013 | 5:21 PM

"When you buy a box of Girl Scout cookies and devour 10 in a single sitting, as untold numbers of people will in the next month, you are propping up a pretty sizable enterprise."
-- The New York Times

1. How can I purchase Girl Scout Cookies?

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My Girlfriend (A Manti Te'o Satire)

(1) Comments | Posted January 25, 2013 | 11:34 AM

I met my girlfriend on Twitter. Our first date we stayed up half the night retweeting tweets and creating new hashtags. She blogged about me on WordPress. I started a LiveJournal. We connected on so many levels. Things between us quickly got more serious. LinkedIn. Google+. I helped her edit...

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Horses, Bayonets, Cannonballs, and Sharp, Pointy Rocks

(2) Comments | Posted October 24, 2012 | 6:42 PM

"You mentioned the Navy, for example, and that we have fewer ships than we did in 1916. Well, Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets, because the nature of our military's changed."
-- President Barack Obama


NARRATOR: Fewer ships. Fewer horses. And...

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Binders Literally Full of Actual Women

(0) Comments | Posted October 22, 2012 | 6:55 PM

"I went to a number of women's groups and said, 'Can you help us find folks?' and they brought us whole binders full of women." -- Mitt Romney

"Well, obviously I didn't mean it literally. I certainly never meant to suggest that I took some number of women, sedated them,...

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The iMop 5: Buckets Sold Separately

(1) Comments | Posted September 24, 2012 | 4:16 PM

"Last quarter, Apple sold its 400 millionth iOS device. 'Today, we're taking it to the next level,' [Apple CEO Tim] Cook says."
--The New York Times

"We're so pleased to announce the introduction of the iMop 5, the fastest, thinnest mop on the market. We know this...

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Todd Akin, Chief of Police

(7) Comments | Posted August 22, 2012 | 11:55 AM

"No reason to get alarmed. In a legitimate bank robbery, the money will simply choose to remain in the drawer. So while I think you probably need to take a closer look at your own people and figure out who's responsible on the inside, this simply isn't a matter for...

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