Rear Entry: Did you hear about Colbert's Wife?

The major mystery everyone has been wondering about is how could intelligence have been so faulty as to have Steve Colbert get the gig at the Press Corps shindig. Who are they getting next year, Cindy Sheehan? Or better yet, David Hinkley?

My secret inside-high-level inside the white house, Rear Entry, has leaked (but not to me, someone else, maybe) a real blockbuster: It's a case of pure nepotism.

Steven Colbert's wife, covert CIA water boarding and testicular electrocution specialist Veronica Mercury (already common knowledge, even though top secret, so no felony here, dudes), got him the gig by pulling strings (or razor wire).

I just want to make it clear that I am NOT leaking anything or revealing anything, only reporting, as all good reporters do, what someone who wants to remain anonymous told me as a way of keeping the public supplied with information vital to preserving our democracy. Not for any political agenda. Certainly not for any kind of retribution or anything like that.

And I will NOT reveal my source, because I believe in the first Amendment. At least until I can close the book deal on my Prison Memoirs.

PS: His aunt in Ohio didn't pay taxes in 2001, either.