New York -- The Dow Jones Industrial Average soared above 10,000 again Tuesday, chiefly on the strength of a report that Wall Street executives can do "basically anything they f***ing want, whenever they f***ing want."

The report, released Tuesday by a consortium of financial experts studying the causes of the...

Is the health care legislation currently being debated by Congress really out to choke you to death? A Republican senator says yes.

For more, visit The National Protrusion.com.

The Senate narrowly defeated an amendment that would have allowed people with permits for a concealed firearm in one state to carry that firearm into a different state.

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Overbearing: From NPNR, I'm David Overbearing.

The Senate today narrowly voted down an amendment that would...

Sacramento, CA - California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that his state will not participate in the year 2010, and instead "will skip directly to 2011." California faces a projected $26.3 billion budget deficit, and the state's controller began handing out IOUs last week.

Gov. Schwarzenegger held a press conference, following...

Jackson, Mississippi - The Mississippi legislature today approved a hotly contested piece of legislation that legalizes marriage between two people with the same father. Governor Haley Barbour signed the legislation late this afternoon, making Mississippi the first state to legalize marriage between a brother and sister.

"This is about equality,...

President Obama delivered the commencement address at San Diego State University today, and told graduates to "tamp down those lofty expectations," in order to not be greatly disappointed later in life. Many members of the audience seemed confused, offering only lukewarm applause when Mr. Obama was finished speaking.

"This is...

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba - Omar Nazirr, an Afghani who has been in U.S. custody at the military prison at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base since 2003, said he has a suggestion for where to put detainees of the prison camp once it closes. Nazirr says the 240 detainees could be...

Washington, D.C. - In a prime-time press conference tonight, President Obama announced that he is waiting until "that all-important week for television ratings known as sweeps week" to unveil his plan to fix the economy. Mr. Obama said that he knows the move requires patience on the part of the...

Washington, D.C. - Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner held a press conference today to announce a need on the part of the Treasury for "people good with numbers, figures, economics - things of that nature." In an ongoing attempt to fill vacancies in the department, Mr. Geithner sought a public forum...

Washington, D.C. - In what is assumed to be a miscommunication in the relaying of the day's talking points, several prominent Republicans each condemned what they referred to as "hairless spending" proposed by President Obama. Members from both houses of Congress made public appearances and gave television interviews in which...

Mom, Dad, listen: I know times have been tough. I know you've lost money in the stock market and had big chunks taken out of your 401ks. I know all that, and I feel for you; I really do. But The Time Has Come. The time has come to get...

Washington, D.C. -- House Minority Leader John Boehner of Ohio introduced a Republican-backed stimulus package meant to counter one favored by Democrats and the White House. Unlike the Democrat-backed bill, the Republican stimulus package would be ultra-exclusive, amounting to $800 billion divided evenly among 20 rich white men.

"This is...

Washington, DC - Lou Barberie, a janitor at the U.S. Capitol building, says lately he is obsessed with a vivid and unusual fantasy: being inside the Capitol at the precise moment the economic stimulus funds, presumed to be in the form of cash and held in a poorly-shut suitcase, are...

Senator Horris A. Harvey, Republican of Pennsylvania, gave a press conference today to explain why he is refusing to attend proposed nighttime sessions of the Senate aimed at reconciling the Senate and House versions of the economic stimulus package.

Washington, D.C. - In a sea of terrible job news, the White House today announced projections of growth in the field of counting newly unemployed and poor Americans for the U.S. Census Bureau and other organizations of its kind. In a somewhat related announcement, the White House said it had...

Washington, D.C. - In his final act as president, George W. Bush presented the American people with what he called an "awesome" mix tape as a parting gift, on the day he left office. Mr. Bush told the American people, "This is not 'goodbye.' It's 'until we meet again'."...

Washington, D.C. -- For several days now, Vice President-elect Joe Biden has been lobbying members of the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies to include as part of the official swearing-in ceremony a moon bounce, an inflatable structure that people can enter and bounce up and down in. So far,...

New York - Several times during her exclusive interview with Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric asked Palin whether or not she was aware that the interviews were being taped, and that "other people would see them." Palin reportedly told Couric that she was...