Newsflash for all you TSA-haters out there: I hate your junk.
Believe me, when I took this job, it was only because the mall where I was a security guard pretty much shut down. I've got a wife and kid. I need a health plan. And at the TSA, if you get promoted from screener to manager, you can be looking at decent money.
But most of all, I'm a patriot -- I want to help my country.
I didn't sign up to caress a colostomy bag.
I don't get off wrapping my hand around your johnson.
It doesn't thrill me to run my fingers inside the back of a pair of tighty whities that have skid marks.
I get no charge in counting how far into a roll of flab I can stick my hand.
And that's just what I've come to hate about this job while I'm doing it.
After hours, it's worse.
My hobby is bowling. I'm good at it, too. But now, at night, the thought of sticking my fingers into anything makes me gag.
At the backyard barbeque last weekend, I couldn't eat a hot dog, On spaghetti night, when my wife made meatballs, I lost my appetite.
None of which helps my marriage. My wife looks at my hands and turns away. That I wear rubber gloves all day is meaningless to her. "Who knows where those fingers have been?" she says.
Tomorrow is "Opt-Out"day. Thousands of smartasses are going to tell the screeners that no, sorry, they'd rather be strip-searched, groped and prodded than go through the nudie machine. The idea, they say, is to make life so unpleasant for the TSA screens that we'll beg our bosses to go easy on white Americans.
Not gonna happen.
But accidentally pushing a finger up your bum -- that could.
Squeezing your free willie? Might happen.
Don't be confused. I'm no perv. I really hate your junk.
If you ARE infact a TSA screener, please be a 'patriot' and stand up for our 4th amendment rights. Have you talked to your supervisors about this? Do you care about 'probable cause' and 'due process.'
Did you know that, in fact, travel IS A RIGHT, and the SUPREME court has asserted this FACT numerous times?
"The constitutional right to travel from one State to another, and necessarily to use the highways and other instrumentalities of interstate commerce in doing so, occupies a position fundamental to the concept of our Federal Union. It is a right that has been firmly established and repeatedly recognized."
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/cgi-bin/getcase.pl?navby=case&court=us&vol=383&invol=745#757
http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/70821.html
Seriously. You think complaining about it somehow makes you the victim? You're taking money to invade peoples' privacy. It should be hard. It's satisfying that it has consequences for you. I've been desperate for money, I've had opportunities to take jobs that would have been hard to stomach. When I was hard up for money I worked my butt off in a part-time temp job in customer service while the comission-based outgoing call center was right next door waving paychecks that were double the size. I learned all the clients in the call center and got myself up to a 40 hour week on incoming calls because I would not become a part of telemarketing. Because I hate those calls and didn't want to be someone who made them.
This is so much more important than that-- invading peoples' person, stripping them of their basic human dignity. You complain that it has consequences for you? And because of the aesthetics? How about being haunted by the dehumanizing effect you have on people who are just trying to get where they need to be? How about rather than whine because not everybody you have to pat down is a supermodel, maybe you get mad at the people who changed the policies and forced these invasions on everyone?
Ooooh, it ruins your food. How terrible for you. For my girlfriend, it brings to the present memories of horrible abuse, and gives her flashbacks that take weeks to fade.
People need to just suck it up... or... here's an idea...
DON'T FLY. People are really making too big a deal about this. You wanted more security, you got it. Now you want to pick and choose. Sorry, you don't have that option. Have fun on your trains and buses.
Don't let yours get all wadded up.
R/ PRONESE
You do want to travel safely, do you not?