'Coach' and 'Uncle' as Perverts: Susan Sarandon and Two Brave Actors Make Scary Commercials

I went downtown to a recording studio to watch Susan Sarandon tape voice-overs for some public service announcements not because I have a shallow male appreciation for her -- ok, that too -- but because I didn't believe she'd show up.

She wouldn't have been the first to bail.

The vast majority of the actors who survived the first audition for these PSAs decided not to return for the second.

They all had the same reason: these commercials could end a career.

What was ground-breaking about these spots for Darkness2Light?

Because "Uncle Al" and "Coach Sanders" -- click to watch them -- aren't the usual commercials made by an organization committed to preventing the sexual abuse of children.

That is, they don't just state the facts and offer a solution: "Before her 18th birthday, one out of every four American girls will be sexually abused. Before his 18th birthday, one out of every six American boys will be sexually abused. Add in the adult population of men and women who have been sexually assaulted, and you get 40 million Americans. At Darkness2Light, we can teach adults to recognize the signs of childhood sexual abuse -- and stop someone before they hurt a child..."

That's the traditional approach: "feel good" media about a "feel bad" issue.

This time out, D2L showcased two actors who portrayed child abusers.

They're white. Known. Respected. Clearly heterosexual. The kind of men you unthinkingly trust with your kids.

Unfair? Statistics show that 90% of child abusers are guys. 75% are white, and yes, 90% are trusted by the kid and/or the family.

But, yeah, shocking. Real life scary stuff. And delivered without sweeteners. The actors -- looking right into the camera -- tell you how they betray your trust every chance they get.

The new D2L public service announcements have been running on CNN and Lifetime. They got noticed -- fast. Last week E! Entertainment Television named "Uncle Al" the clip of the week.

I was curious about civilian reaction to the PSA, and because I serve on the advisory board of D2L, I was able to find out.

Many wrote in to say they were offended by these spots. Samples:

White males are the only ethnic group that is not offered any protection from your derogatory crap -- you won't accuse any other racial group because you are afraid of the backlash it would cause. We see your agenda and it is not protecting children.

Your campaign will make every American mother fear every man they know, from their husbands to their fathers, brothers and neighbors.

As a loving uncle I find your TV ad disgusting and insulting.

And my favorite, from a man named Al:

I'll be contacting my lawyer to begin a class action lawsuit against you. It will be no contest. Every time you actually use a name in your commercials you'll get a new suit. I'm sure I'll have no problem signing many 'Uncle Als' on.

The positive reaction was equally emotional. A mother watched with her "startled" teen sons and hoped the D2L training programs would come to her city. A man wondered "if there is any way to get an amendment to the constitution that protects the rights of children -- they have none." And many were grateful for the statement of the obvious: This really does happen close to home.

"Outrage is a cousin to denial," D2L founder Anne Lee told me. "We appreciate that some people are offended and outraged. We're not saying that the majority of coaches, teachers, counselors, ministers, and family members are abusing children -- but too many of them are. So don't be angry at the courageous actors who portrayed those perpetrators, or at us for talking about it. Be angry at the reality of child sexual abuse, and then do something about it."

The D2L approach begins by shattering conventional wisdom -- D2L believes that the first step in stopping childhood sexual abuse is removing responsibility from the child. The kid has no power; saying "bad touch" isn't likely to deter any adult determined to do wrong. So D2L trains adults in organizations -- schools, churches, clubs, sports groups -- to recognize the signs and intelligently intervene. In 4 years, it's trained more than 160,000 adults. By its calculations, it's better protected 1.6 million kids.

And that, in the end, is why Susan Sarandon showed up. Not just because she's a good-hearted soul who lends her voice to worthy causes, but because she's the eldest of nine children -- she'd seen a lot, she'd heard some stories. And she knows, as D2L does, that a soothing, recognizable voice delivering harsh news can be the most effective wake-up call of all.

Comments

[repearwo]

These ads as part of a campaign of education are fine. The only thing is that these guys are a small but hurtful minority. I try never to be alone with a child. I do baby sit from time to time, but rarely and only for friends that know me really well. IF you really watch your kids you know who they want to be around and who they do not. you can also tell who they are scares them.

[repearwo]

I am amazed by the number of females I know that have been sexually abused by a family member. That is from a pretty wide cross section women I have met in school, work, church, and where I live. Men are not so forthcoming with their stories of abuse, but I know they are out there.

The truth is complex. We are a society that accepts a advertizing industry that uses sex to sell just about everything and broadcast it on our airwaves, cable, and internet. Not is not even to mention the pornography that is there.

But we are a free people and as an adult I do not want to have Government tell me what I can and can not read and look at.

Adult males are repressed and misunderstood. Our Social Structures deny the plain and simple fact that males are creatures with strong sexual urges. Those urges need to be channeled into reponsible outlets rather than denied. The vast majority of men do this.

The bottom line in all of this is person responsiblity. Adults need to talk to their kids, or at least let their kids know that they can openly talk about personal things. I was approached by an older boy for suspicious activity I declined and when I got home I told my Mother. She assured me I did the right thing and it was OK. I never heard anything more about it.

[ScottR]

I am a former child welfare worker and child abuse prosecutor and I commend this organization for its efforts. It has been my experience that pedophiles are often the most sophisticated perpetrators. Often likeable in their presentation, many rely on their charm to diminish and counterattack the disclosures made by their victims. It should also be noted that most predators pick the vulnerable children, the ones who are not well supervised, not closely nurtured. Hopefully these ads can help break the cycle for someone.

I think the public would be astonished if they knew how pervasive sexual abuse of children is in America. Or perhaps they already know but it is a truth they can not bear.

[candyc]

These are shocking, creepy ads. They are just terrific. I hope they make a whole series of them. Kudos Susan Saradon!

[THEhillbilly]

"Unfair? Statistics show that 90% of child abusers are guys. 75% are white, and yes, 90% are trusted by the kid and/or the family. "

Leaving out the word "reported" could be unfair. Studiously avoiding citing sources of those putative statistics could be unfair. Did you notice that the 75% is not significantly different from the population proportion? Sure, you did.

[mooph]

Fair would have been citing the percentage of abusers there are in the population.

From the D2L website, on statistic they cite is: "An average serial child molester may have as many as 400 victims in his lifetime." If that's the average, wouldn't that mean about 0.25% of people are child molesters? And, yes, that number is still too high for us to turn away from this problem -- 0.00% would be the ideal.

There's a difference between imparting knowledge that makes our kids safer and using scare tactics that demonize in innocent portion of the population.

[ConcernedAboutRFuture]

In the south, I think the 25% is a LOW number.

[AnotherMcIntosh]

Isn't it odd that the given statistics are round numbers?

Is this just a coincidence? Or is it more consistent with someone just making up numbers?

[MeanGreenMachine]

Child Molestation is a learned behavior.

Every perpetrator was once a victim.

Fortunately not every victim becomes a perpetrator, but many do.

I know from personal experience that molestation by women is vastly under-reported.

No one ever believes it, so why bother reporting it.

Let the attacks begin.

[booker52]

People need to wake up and smell the coffee about the people they trust with their kids. Yes the PSA's are creepy and they suppose to be.

[ranchero42]

Actually, this exactly the kind of thing I have been hearing my entire life. Every thing you could imagine and more has been aimed at certain male members of the family. I have noticed that a certain lack of trust has been given to the balance of male relatives, myself included. None of my sisters has ever asked me to babysit. On the plus side, NONE OF MY SISTERS HAVE EVER ASKED ME TO BABYSIT! Pretty cool, huh?

[LetgoofmyEggo]

I was not even fifteen when one of my uncles was drunk and trying to hump me while teaching me to play pool. Another uncle tried to get me into bed with him when I was 11 and he was around 16. When we were older, me 16 and him married with kids, he again attempted to get me to “go along”', even tried to kiss me in his own driveway. Luckily when I showed no interest he did not persist. Now I pretend not to remember what happened and we get along fine. THIS IS NO JOKE!! If you aren't part of the problem you can be part of the solution.

[FiLoLi]

I've been there and it took a long time for me to realise that my "pretending like it didn't happen" only made it possible for them to move on to another girl.

We have to teach our kids that they MUST speak out if this happens, it is the only way to stop it.

[descott]

Abuse is perpetrated by white males, black males white women, black women and men and women of all hues and nationalities, by fathers, coaches, ministers, teachers, babysitters. . .Blacks under report. A lot of this is due to false rapes claims during the Jim Crow and lynching and also discrimination with police. But this happens everywhere. And the best way to stop i is prevention. Kudos to D2L for taking the bull by the horns. All adults should take the on line training. It is only $15.00. You will be saving the only childhood a kids has.

[fcsakes]

I was molested by a first cousin when I was nine years old. He was in his 20's at the time and went on to get married and father six daughters. By the time I got the courage to tell someone what had happened to me, I was 35 years old and he was in prison for sexually abusing his own daughters. It took two decades for me to realize it wasn't my fault I was molested.

Anything they can do to stop child sexual abuse is alright by me - I don't care how many feelings get hurt. If I had my way, every child abuser would be castrated and branded on the forehead 'pervert.'

The vast majority of child abusers are heterosexual, white men - a widely known fact for many decades which has been successfully suppressed by guess who, heterosexual, white men.

[kurofalcon]

When I was molested by my father in the 1970's, we didn't discuss it with adults. When we talked about it at slumber parties, only one of my friends had NOT been abused, molested, groped and/or raped. One out of a group of 27. The offenders were all white, all members of the families involved and all trusted by the parents. In the few cases where one of my friends spoke up, they were told that they were lying and the "uncle whoever" would never do such a thing.

I don't claim to have an answer. I married a good man who is a wonderful father. Most men are good men but the monsters seem to be really good at the masquerade.

[drjay79]

As a kid I had a great boy scout leader who we and are our parents just loved. He spent more time with us than any adult had before. Years later he was arrested for molesting children, I was shocked. He never approached me but I wonder about the other boys at the time. It is a pattern that they use to get close to children.

[Clairemont]

" He spent more time with us than any adult had before." That might be a clue. If you look at most adult men, they are hanging out with adult men. They choose adult men for companionship, even after they marry and have a family. My dad had friends for golf, cards, and watching games. He had work buddies. My mom had her friends. They loved each other of course and certainly spent time with us. But when our kid friends showed up, my parents usually went off on their own tangents. My dad might have been coerced into showing us how he played darts or throw us a few pitches. But hang out with us? Never! We often didn't like our friends showing up because it meant dad would disappear.

But any time you find an adult male who prefers the company of children, watch out.

[PaxMundis]

"But any time you find an adult male who prefers the company of children, watch out."

Then that leaves every male teacher, day care worker, or scout leader a suspect.

[PatA]

****I do not believe for a second that biological fathers sexually abuse their children beyond a tiny minority of creeps.***­*
From someone who knows, "dream on"....my dad was not a "creep" as far as being a good community member, etc.

[austinobserver]

The more one increases the mistrust of and hostility towards adult males in society, the more lonely and emotionally unbalanced adult males there will be. And the more a society becomes saturated by sexual messages (the US is quite saturated already), the more these lonely and unbalanced men will feel a desperate need to break rules and cross boundaries to satisfy themselves sexually.

There does not seem to be a rational and intelligent approach to the problem in the US. But that is hardly surprising, as there is a paucity of rational and intelligent approaches in the US to virtually every pressing issue one can think of.

[FiLoLi]

Shining light upon the roaches does not make the number of roaches increase, it just makes us aware that there is a roach problem. It also puts fear into the roaches and they scatter.

Discussing the problem and teaching our children will not turn any male into a molestor.

[PaxMundis]

"Discussing the problem and teaching our children will not turn any male into a molestor."

No, but singling out a particular group will make it much more easy to ruin the lives of innocent people. This is not a trivial concern - remember the McMartin case?

[OnTheCusp]

Well, sounds like these "lonely and emotionally unbalanced adult males" need to evolve already.

[sociocanuck]

As a lonely, emotionally unbalanced male I must take offense. Lightheartedly, of course. But still...

We're not all succeptible to self-perpetuating cycles of increasingly immoral behaviour. I.e. austinobserver's hypoethesis should not (and can not) really be generalized, so long as there's still an ability for most people to recognize truly inappropriate behaviour.

[Dynamohum]

denial is not a river in egypt, it is the american way. Sweeping dirt under the carpet is an american tradition. I am not intentionally being cynical, it is from personal experience. I do thank God, however, that I while being abused, I was never sexually abused. I cannot imagine the pain and the horror of it all for the young victims.

Most times it takes a lifetime of hard work to get through it and past it.

[foxfan]

I believe this is an important message, but if they are using actual names in their commercials then it shows an irresponsibility on the part of D2L. How so? My friends' kids call me Uncle Al. I don't need anyone thinking that I am anything less than the decent man I have always been. I don't need kids seeing this commercial and thinking they should be afraid of me.