Whew! After a two week break from recapping, I've been jonesing to get my "Project Accessory" back on. (Our editor-in-chief Anya Strzemien, who appeared on the last episode, filled in for me for episode 4, and then last week was Thanksgiving and no one really was going to wander over post-turkey with the fam and watch hipster glue beads onto bracelets.)
Here we go! There are only 7 designers left! In the apartments, Beard Guy and Brian note this with apprehension. Shea talks about being in the bottom of all the challenges. Hmm. Remember that for later.
In the studio, Molly Sims seems a little more animated than usual. Yay! To celebrate, I'll take the week off from comparing Molly Sims to an inanimate object.
After a pregnant pause of suspense, the models saunter out in swimsuits. These poor girls: since the challenges are all about accessories, they end up having to wear the most skin-tight, unflattering outfits to let the jewelry shine: neon spandex bodysuits, tight dresses, and now, scraps of fabric barely wider than a headband.
The challenge: Everyone has to pick a bikini-clad girl and create a pair of sandals, a headpiece and accessory of choice to go with her outfit. If someone make a bespoke belly ring for this, I will love them forever.
Molly announces that the team is being taken somewhere special to get inspiration. On the bus, the accesortestants speculate: Staten Island! Jersey! Ipanema! The South of France! Oh wait, it's just Coney Island, which Christina describes as "New York's mecca." What? Most New Yorkers I know would rather chill out in a pay phone booth at the Port Authority than take a 2 hour ride on the R-train to soak up the lovely tropical atmosphere of Long Island Sound.
And Eva reveals the twist: they'll get $100 and have to create their looks from whatever they can find in the beachside stores and on the beach itself. Oh man. Who knows what they're going to scour from the fake sand. Even the palm trees there are fake:
Finding and gathering time! Beard Guy whines that he's sooooo NOT INTO this challenge. Christina finds shells and sea glass. Nina screeches that she thinks she picked up bird poop. Brian doesn't want to use shells -- shells are for lame-os! -- so he goes for a beach ball and a beach mat from a store on the boardwalk.
Nina, who's from Miami and should have this in the bag, right? picks jewelry from the boardwalk store to use. Cheating? Meanwhile, Shea is pretty much loading the entire Coney Island shoreline into her container.
"Shells, sea glass, dead carcass...I don't care, it's going in the bag," she tells the camera determinedly. PETA is going to LOVE this.
When the group returns from their Brooklyn adventure, they set to work.
Christina is spray painting shells. Beard Guy is pretty much having a nervous breakdown because he "doesn't want to be there," remember, because he's soooooo not into this challenge. Brian is deconstructing kites, which is kind of cool.
You guys, Eva gives the tritest advice ever. When she comes in to do her Tom Colicchio-esque "sniff 'n' sneer," she tells Adrian, "I want to see an incredible hat, because you're an amazing hatmaker." "I want to see you inspired!" she says to Beard Guy, who's dragging his feet (remember, he's NOT INTO this challenge). "Find what can make this your masterpiece," she drones to Shea. Reach for the stars, guys! Follow your dreams! E pluribus unum!
Amongst themselves, the motif of the episode seems to be Let's All Trash Talk Shea. TRIPLE DECKER hmm.
Runway time! Judges this week are Molly "I'm A Real Person" Sims, Ariel Foxman from In Style, Rachel Roy (yay! We love her) and Jenna Lyons (ditto).
Omg, wait until you guys see Shea's belt. I grew up in Florida, and even in Florida, you're not going to find a shell that large and pristine just lying on the beach, let alone Coney Island. Which means Shea bought the shell in one of the boardwalk stores, which just seems really sad to me. If you're going to buy stuff, at least make it stuff you couldn't ostensibly find feet away on the beach.
But let's start with the others. Nina's stuff looks kind of earth mother-y. Brian's model has alien antennae! I'll show you later. Diego's model looks, creepily enough, like she's walking in a Girl Scouts swimsuit competition:
Beard Guy tied up a sarong with a bird skull:
The judges love Beard Guy's yellow sandals, and Rachel Roy reads his bird skull accoutrement as "showing that women are made of multiple dimensions." Okay.
As Shea's model sashays down the runway in her half-hat and giant shell belt, I think people are stifling giggles. Poor Shea! But I mean, look at this:
"She will be ridiculed wearing this anywhere," Rachel Roy dismisses during the judging. Well, maybe not at the senior center at Margaritaville.
Adrian's red and blue hat is kind of gorg:
The verdict! Brian wins, with his Flintstones antennae and wrist...things! I love how the model is looking askance at him in the photo, like, WTF did you do to my head:
Shea, SHOCKINGLY, is sent home, after immense foreshadowing and a "loser" edit left no other possible outcome. Sorry, Shea. We'll always remember your shell belt fondly.
Tune in next week as the remaining 6 have to accessorize a completely nude model. Just kidding. Well, I guess you never know...
Follow Jessica Misener on Twitter at www.twitter.com/jessmisener.
Follow Jessica Misener on Twitter: www.twitter.com/jessmisener