Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Season 4, Episode 20 of Fox's "Glee," titled "Lights Out."
This week's Glee opens with Ryder iChatting his elusive catfish. They are having a real conversation about the meaning of life. JK. They say this:
"Why are you afraid to meet me??"
Obviously, this isn't one of their deep convos Ryder raves about. He tells Jake that he's never felt so close to someone. He's told her things he's never told anyone, like his biggest secret. Jake is confused because he thought Ryder's biggest secret was dyslexia, but Ryder is like, "actually more bad stuff has happened to me because this show needs to explore even more real life issues."
At glee practice, Mr. Schue runs into the choir room saying they have a huge problem. He did some spying on the Hoosierdaddys, and he's really afraid of a girl on the team named Frieda who has a big voice (if she looked familiar to you during the episode, it's because she's the runner up from the last season of 'American Idol'). But right in the middle of Schue's speech, the lights go out. Sam thinks it's a zombie apocalypse and Unique thinks it's Beyonce's halftime show (because that's reasonable). The principal gets on the intercom and says that the power went out (duh). So since he can't get to the chalkboard to dramatically write down this week's theme, Schue announces that we're getting Unplugged.
In Bushwick, Santana hauls a chair from the dumpster up to her, Rachel, and Kurt's apartment. The other two immediately tell her sit down in it because they need to talk. They're worried because they heard she was a Go-Go dancer and are totally judging her choices (remember, Rachel dated a prostitute). They want her to take real dance lessons at the NYADA extension school, and Santana gets really upset. "Stop forcing your Broadway dream onto my awesome dream." But she can't come up with anything to say once Rachel asks what her awesome dream actually is.
The next day in glee, the power is still out. I really don't understand why this isn't a priority for the electrical company or the school, but the power stays out until the end of the episode. Sam sings "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" by The Righteous Brothers because it was the song he was conceived to. It sounds pretty good, but I can't see anything that is happening because this episode is so dark.
Finally, in New York, Sarah Jessica Parker returns as the Vogue.com editor. She asks Kurt how his dad's cancer is, which is good because I feel like almost everyone forgot about that, including Kurt. She then tells him that she needs a celeb-wrangler for some ballet gala because Anna Wintour's daughter was supposed to do it, but quit. Um duh. Didn't you see "The September Issue"? Anna's daughter wants nothing to do with fashion industry. To Kurt's delight, he gets to take her place, and he gets to bring friends. When he tells Rachel and Santana, Rachel freaks out and Santana is very "meh" about the whole thing until Kurt tells her she gets to wear a designer dress. Isn't this great?! Not even in NYC for a whole year and they are already auditioning for Broadway shows and going to black tie events hosted by Anna Wintour! See what happens when you put a gold star after your signature?!
We learn that after being fired, Sue took up a job as a trainer. She loves it because she gets to abuse people. Blaine appears in her aerobics class at the gym to tell her that the Cheerios are falling apart, and they need her. This little talk inspires Sue to go watch the Cheerios practice. While she's sitting on the bleachers, Becky comes up to her and says she is thinking about quitting the team because NeNe Leakes is way mean. Sue tells Becky that there's no way she'll coach again. As a trainer people take her seriously and she "can't go back to babysitting brats." Then she breaks out into song while hilariously harassing the cheerleaders.
Ryder decides that he can't let his catfish have the upper hand. He sings "Everybody Hurts" to the club, then announces his big secret. While he's singing, I find myself hoping that "Glee" won't kick him off the show like they did with the last "Glee Project" winner. This guy can out-act most of the other stars and watching him sing that song was pretty heart-wrenching. He reveals to the club that when he was 11, his babysitter molested him. The other guys are like "OMG BRO NO WAY. A hot girl touched you when you were 11, and you're ashamed? That's every preteen's dream, dummy! Mad respect, BroDude." Tina and Schue tell the club to shut the eff up because it's not an honor to be molested by a hot girl. But Ryder walks away obviously distressed saying, "It's cool. I'm like the luckiest guy in here."
Kitty looks very upset when Ryder leaves the room, so she asks him to dinner at Breadstix (the only restaurant in Ohio). She noticed how withdrawn Ryder was because he felt like nobody understood what he went through. But she does. She was molested by her friend's older brother in the sixth grade and had to change schools because everyone stopped talking to her after the incident. They are feeling very close to each other in this moment, and I'm thinking this may be a love connection once Ryder finds out his catfish is someone like Principal Figgins.
While setting up for the ballet, Santana, Kurt, Rachel, and Sarah Jessica Parker all sing "At the Ballet" and it's clear that ballet means a lot to each of them. I don't know why this show doesn't give Santana more numbers. She makes me look up from whatever junk I'm online shopping for and actually pay attention. This moment makes her decide to actually go to the NYADA extension school and take dance. She doesn't want to lose the little girl she used to be who loved dancing more than anything.
Once the lights come back on at McKinley, I can see my TV screen again, and the club is ready to start using electricity for their rehearsal. However Mr. Schue is like, "Woah woah woah, our voices are our best instruments." Then they all smile and sing "For the Longest Time," and I start rolling my eyes to the beat. Ugh. I hope they go back to instruments next week because I think I have a crush on the piano player.
"Glee" airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on Fox.
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