How Dr. Tiller's Abortions Saved Lives - From Heartache
I have two friends who had to make the heartbreaking decision to fly to Kansas for a late term abortion. These were not women who were sloppy with birth control or didn't desperately want to have children. As with many of the women who visited Dr. George Tiller, they had found out after their amnio tests that the babies they were carrying would be horribly deformed.
Amnios, which test for abnormal chromosomal problems, usually takes place between 14-16 weeks of a pregnancy and then it's usually another week before the diagnosis.
One of my friends waited an extra week to have hers because she was on a business trip. By the time she discovered that the baby inside her -- whom she had already made a room for in her heart and in her apartment -- was going to be sentenced to a lifetime of care and emotional and physical agony, my friend made the heart-wrenching decision to terminate the pregnancy.
I remember so vividly her crying into the phone as we spoke.
"I'm going to have to fly to Kansas," she said.
"Kansas! We live in New York. Why Kansas?," I had asked. "There has to be a doctor here."
"It's the only place that will do late term abortions," she said, as an ear-splitting sob interrupted her sentence. "I have another few days to think this through before it's even too late to go there."
After I ran over to her apartment, we discussed the pros and cons of this decision, one that I can promise you, was not made cavalierly or without anguish.
Part of the discussion, and what is often misplaced in the abortion debate, is the underlying truth that couples face.
Raising a child with severe medical or physical deformities tests you and sentences you to a life filled with many obstacles both emotionally and financially. It not only impacts the child, but the whole family.
"I can't do it, " my friend finally declared. "What does that say about me?"
It says, I assured her, that she's honest. And the reason that technology has given us these choices is to make the right decision for her family. I would have made the same decision, as I also told my other friend who was faced with this dilemma.
Because amnio doesn't reveal many issues -- including autism -- other couples who now bravely battle these daily pressures of a child with disabilities teach us about compassion and courage.
In conversations that I've had with quite a few friends who have children with issues, they wished they would have had that choice. However, they are now accepting their destiny with grace and often tears.
And yes, I do admire Sarah Palin for making the choice she did for her family when she learned she would have a son with Down's Syndrome. I have another friend who made a similar decision, based on many factors, and the experience made her firmly pro-choice. And that is what we need to protect -that choice - and why Dr. George Tiller's murder -- in church -- is so tragic.
Because where will my friends or others who want that choice go now?
After learning of Tiller's murder, I called my friend who went to Dr. Tiller. In the background, her two daughters were playing as we discussed this injustice. "He's a hero," she said, her voice a whisper.. "He literally saved our family from a lifetime of heartache.." My other friend now has a healthy son whom she cherishes. As she told me, she says a prayer for Dr. Tiller almost every day, and now will say it for his family.
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What if there was a test for in utero homosexuality? How about the practice of sex selection? Should we look down on someone who brings one of these monsters to term? You see, we all have our reasons. The reason the abortion debate is so hostile and divisive is because of the fact that we even consider it at all.
It causes me financial strain to be taxed to support 90 year old vegetables in nursing homes. Can I order their euthinasia?
To say that a disabled child's life will cause nothing but heartache is, frankly, ignorant.
Hmmm...let me get this straight. It is acceptable to kill a baby that can survive outside of the womb if it would be difficult for the parents to care for it? Would it then be acceptable to abort a baby that was not, say, the gender we prefer or the eye color we had hoped for? Perhaps, then, we could abort babies that did not have the intelligence we wanted for them. Maybe we could even abort babies who are part of minority groups that we don't like or whose parents whose beliefs differ from our own. Of course Dr. Tiller's death was the work of a crazed extremist, but all pro-life believers are not raging homicidal maniacs. A person who truly respects life would not hypocritically take the life of another. The Bible is true, God will judge us all, and abortion is wrong. So is murder, even of an abortionist.
"The Bible is true, God will judge us all, and abortion is wrong."
That is merely your belief. That does not make it true!
A belief is not truth.
"God will judge us all"...which is why we are told - in the Bible - not to judge one another. For He will judge us in the same manner that we judge another.
Just as He calls us not to murder...He also demands that we care for the poor, the widows, the orphans and the "aliens". He talks more about the poor that any other topic. Why then don't we work to alleviate poverty and reduce the abortions among the economically desperate? Let's increase social service programs and ensure charity funding reaches all of those in need. Perhaps those who cannot support a baby will not abort, if we help them raise their child. For those who would face bringing a severely disabled child into the world, let's make our country a safe place to raise that baby. In the end, if a woman chooses abortion, that is between her, her family, her doctors and her God. It is not our place to judge her.
People who respect life value the lives around them...not just the lives of the unborn. Our nation, as a whole, is not doing a good job of caring for one another...especially the poor, the orphans, the widow(er)s and the immigrants/illegal aliens.
People should use condoms or birth control if they don't to want to get someone pregnant /get pregnant. Barring that, abortions should be safe, legal and rare. As a mother of two toddlers, I absolutely believe in a woman's right to choose. This doctor was performing abortions for women who were going to deliver severely disabled or non-viable children. It was legal for him to do this. It was illegal for him to be killed for doing his job. If abortion is ever outlawed (which it won't be despite all of the rhetoric), then doctors who provide abortions can be judged in a court of law not by a bunch of vigilante terrorists. Scott Roeder is no different than a Taliban throwing acid in a girl's face for going to school or beheading a barber for cutting men's beards.
Also, where are all these anti-choicers once the baby is born? You'd think they'd be lining up to take care of all of these unwanted children. Last time I checked there were over 500,000 children in foster care and nearly 800,000 children identified as victims of abuse and/or neglect. What's up w/only caring about fetuses?
I'll just post this for the hell of it as my other post was censored by a moderator.
I would like to see the numbers of abortions reduced and adoption made much easier. The brutal truth is that abortions have to stay legal and have to remain a womans own choice,it is her body. Besides even if abortion was illegal it would not stop them from happening.Backstreet abortions would still be performed, and they are very,very dangerous. I do not want to go back in time where women were forced to find a doctor to provide the procedure in a back alley.I do not want women taking wire hangers to themselves, I do not want to reverse womens rights.The women that came before me fought hard for he right to choose,and it should not be taken away.People just do not understand that most women struggle with this decision,some never get over the loss,and that is each woman's own life decision to make.
Unfortunate people are not worried about when they are alive, helpless, and broke, only before they are born.
Some people who think they are so holy are simply cruel.
They need to feel good about themselves, condeming people is the avenue they choose.
It's disappointing that the same energy being used to judge others, in the abortion debate, isn't spent on the families in our country who are living in poverty and/or struggling with disabilities.
For those sharing their religious beliefs, please remember that we are told - in the Bible - not to judge. We are told to "love". We will be judged in the same manner that we judge others. When we "help" another, we are told that we are secretly helping Him. We are told to be His "hands and feet". That means providing shelter, food, clothing, medical care and other "needs" to those who cannot provide them for themselves. Perhaps, if we met the needs of the mothers (and their unborn babies), we would see abortion rates drop.
If you talk about Jesus, please remember that He did not call out the sins of His day. He loved the sinners (yes - women who "killed their children" too). He met their needs. He provided people with choices and free will. While He wanted them to "do good", He never spoke out harshly towards the sinners or controlled anyone's behavior. Matter-of-fact, He left His anger for the pharisees (and His disciples) - perhaps, because they were being cruel, judgemental and unforgiving - when He was not.
isjois~ Wonderful point.I agree.
Responses betray the dishonesty of the "health" argument used by pro-abortion supporters. Lonely? In foster care? Sick or handicapped? It's not these infirmities that are being used as an excuse to "abort" the "fetus", it is the fundamental weakness of the parent to play the hand nature deals. Heroes give birth to, raise and love those who are imperfect, they do not kill them. I started out as a firm believer in the right to "choice". My migration, which I would have expected to be driven by scientific discovery is instead impelled by listening to those who support and make excuses for this act of extreme purification. No one deserves to be killed without the chance to fight back, Whether it's Tiller or one of the poor, defenseless children he excused from life, as if he were God himself.
Have you not read the post? The late-term fetuses Dr. Tiller aborted would have lived days in agony and pain, only to die a few days later. What is heroic about forcing a baby to go through that, just so you can feel like a hero? Who are you to decide for other people? Are you going to be there to help them care for their children AFTER they're born? Feed them, clothe them, house them, provide for their every need? Your sanctimony is simply breathtaking.
More like breath "halting."
All these "brave" heros that decide to 'sacrifice' and have babies so deformed that they are subjected to a livetime of pain and misery. Babies that by no stretch of the imagination can ever even come close to a normal life. Babies subjected over and over to endless painful surgeries and still don't come close. Spare the world from these'heros' A hero is someone who has no idea thier child will be born to this misery and deals with. But a hero is also someone who knows that a child's life will be nothing but misery and chooses NOT to subject that child to that kind of misery. Everyone should be able to make that choice for themselves.
So the aborted baby doesn't feel any agony and pain? Oh, thats right, there is no pain when the butcher punctures the baby's skull to suck out its brain. Have you never looked into the eyes of someone with Downs and seen how happy they are.
How noble of you, you who can never carry a child. Hope you stick to your guns if your female has a child that will scream in agony for the few days it will live. But you have no right to make that decision for others. Your "I changed my mind so everyone has to obey my change of mind" is typical neanderthal male. Why don't you just cut to the chase and say "because I am stronger by nature women have to deal with nature if I forcibly impregnate them?" That, after all, is nature too, isn't it?
What about Terry Schiavo....was it better for her to live in a constant vegetative state or to be put out of her misery? Who are you to say, that just by letting a deformed child be born, that that is a better life for that child than getting rid of it?
Pro-abortion is NOT the same as pro-choice.
This post is dishonest and twisted to make the women compelled to make these difficult choices into excuse makers rather than thinkers. Don't fall for the 'sheep in wolf's clothing' twist on the same old rhetoric
We should all try to be more forgiving and understanding. Each woman has the right to choose on this issue, as people will never agree. We need to let God be the judge, and put our efforts into helping those children and families in the world who are suffering.
that is EXACTLY correct....
If you get past the Miracle Worker image of Helen Keller and read her own words you'll learn that she was miserable, frightened and lonely for most of her life.
Another issue I don't see represented here is that sometime fetuses do not develop normally. I'm not talking about Down's syndrome. I'm talking about fetsus with no skulls or brains or faces. No spinal cord or limbs, eyes or ears or combination of those.
This are genetic accidents and are often not seen until past 3 months gestation. The image too many have of a near perfect baby being dragged from the womb and killed is wrong.
I remember a court case about a dozen years ago, a preganant woman learned that her fetus has no head, just a blob of tissue on top of the spinal cord. She was denied an abortion and forced to carry the "child" to term where it was removed by cesarean section. It died within minutes of leaving the womb. A horror that should happen to know one.
And, then there's the cost. More than $20,000 in charges for pre and post op care.
Forgive me... horror stories are for children.
I for one do not believe that 60,000 babies aborted by said doctor were all done out of the kindness of his heart.
The doctor got thousands of dollars plus change for each abortion... that kinda puts a damper on his kind heart and caring nature.
Most serious deformities are aborted spontaneously... I fear most abortions are done for the convenience of the mother.
Name one doctor - any speciality - that doesn't get paid thousands for everything they do. And no, most "serious deformities" are NOT aborted spontaneously. Why do you think we have the Americans with Disabilities Act? Because there are so many disabled people.
And they're not done for the "convenience of the mother". You're full of it. I don't know one woman that didn't agonize over the decision. But I know plenty that have made the choice. Because it was their choice to make, no matter how YOU feel about it.
Newsflash: Medical procedures cost money. Duh.
Your final statement is not true. A heart-pump (not even a perfect one), blood vessels, and usually liver tissue is all that is needed to go to term.
It's not just abortion that is being threatened when it comes to women's right. For some strange reason conservatives are also against anything that might stop the need for an abortion. I live in a small rural town. It has a large Catholic population. It has one pharmacy that services the whole county. This pharmacy has a pharmacist that refuses to fill contraceptive prescriptions. A friend of mine who lives farther out in the sticks than me, either has to drive 30 miles one way to another pharmacy or wait till the other pharmacist is on duty. This has gotten to be a big issue with her and I don't blame her a bit for being miffed. It has gotten to the point at times she was afraid of running out. This happened several times two years ago when she got snowed in for several days. One should not have to put up with this!
:-)
Silly silly silly.
Who in their right mind believes that an adult woman would not simply be able to request a refill over the phone - and that the pharmacist that has no problem filling it would.
Who in their right mind believes that an adult woman was in danger of running our of birth control pills because she was snowed in for several days.
Give us credit... we are not stupid.
Wow... someone must live in a city to think driving 30 miles one way is inconvenient... I have to drive that far to have all my prescriptions filled!!!
Since you are a man and have never taken birth control, you really have no expertise in this area.
An adult and a smart women can be in danger of running out of birth control pills because insurance and the pharmacies control some magic number they never tell of pills you have left before you can refill them.
Sorry you have to drive so far, and 30 miles is inconvienent when in most areas there is a CVS or Walgreen on every corner. And if one has mulitiple prescriptions, what are the odds they all come up for refill at the same time? Slim to none. So even though these are not controversial, it still can mean multiple trips to the pharmacy. One can not just drop off a prescription for refill while they are in town doing the grocery shopping.
I live something in the neighborhood of 100 miles from anywhere that anyone ever heard of. As I jokingly say "So far out into the woods that we have to pipe in daylight".
It is rather beyond my comprehension how ANYONE in this day and age doesn't KNOW that there are specific dates that one can pick up a refill prescription for all kinds of daily medications...from birth control pills to anti-seizure medications to anti-depressants to anti-psychotic medications... It is also beyond my comprehension how someone who is anti-abortion can FAIL to know that pharmacists CAN AND DO refuse to refill prescriptions on a daily basis because of their religious beliefs and it is perfectly legal (thank you Shrublet).
Before you dip into the sarcasm you MIGHT want to try educating yourself. Making fun of people because of your own ignorance does NOT strengthen your argument and ONLY serves to make you and every other anti-abortion believer look ridiculous.
UM!
maybe they don't have a car, or can't afford the gas, or live in an area with lots of snow
to address social issues, we must look at the WHOLE circumstance
I wonder how many of the anti-abortionists would reconsider their position if it was determinable that their unborn child(ren) is homosexual.
Has anyone here kicked their homosexual child out of the home? If so, would you consider that an abortion would have been better?
hee hee hee
Jesus teaches to hate the sin... not the sinner.
Christians don't have to agree with homosexuals... we just have to love them...
:-)
Do you mean love us in a catholic priest or protestant minister kind of way? It's remarkably similar to the way homosexuals love each other. Ted Haggard anyone?
And you don't even do that, do you Bobrobert?
Who are YOU to say who is a sinner and who isn't. I'm SURE you are not perfect in your life....so until you are, stop judging what other people do, and keep your nose in your OWN business.
HuffPost's Pick
I wouldn't make a decision to abort a child because of something like that. Then again, if one of my children told me that they are homosexual it is very likely that I would have a "coming out party" for them. AND (this will horrify the rabidly religious) if one of my sons told me that he was a cross dresser I would likely be taking him shopping.
The decision to terminate a pregnancy is an individual choice. And I am pretty sure that for every person making that decision, it is (and always will be) one of the most difficult decisions of their lifes. Have some faith in your fellow human beings! No one will resort to such a heartbreaking decision lightly. If anything, those who do need empathy, not condemnation.
As a student nurse... my eyes were opened on the OB floor at a Baltimore hospital.
Let me just say that the patients having abortions could have cared less... most were repeat customers.
Abortion is legal... but no one will ever convince me that MANY abortions are only for convenience.
You're in the wrong profession, if that's all the compassion you can muster.
They wouldn't be there in the first place if a man had not irresponsibly impregnated them.
Might I suggest passing out condoms a mite more liberally?
I have a house full of teenage males... and a basket of condoms in EVERY bathroom. Why? Because I would RATHER spend money on condoms than I would have to buy a coffin.
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