While we all have distractions in our life, I believe there has to be a time when we can tune out the little voice in our heads telling us to check our email for the eighth time that hour.
Have you had a friend who is constantly flaky or seems distracted whenever you try to have a conversation with them? Someone who made you feel like they were doing you a favor by grabbing a cup of coffee with you? If so, then you've probably thought of a few things you'd like to say to them about how they're treating you.
Scenario: You're meeting one of your best friends for lunch, the type who is always busy (and always lets you know it), when you check your watch and realize they're already 15 minutes late. There's no phone call, Facebook post or even so much as an Emoji- themed text message indicating where they could be. When finally, your (now 20 minutes late) friend storms in and immediately starts venting about their latest crisis. When you timidly ask about why they are late, you are met with a vague answer like "Ugh, you know my boss," or "Wednesdays are always insane!" which not only doesn't answer your question, but somehow makes you feel wrong for assuming she'd be on time.
Your friend then proceeds to spend the next 45 minutes of lunch obsessively checking their phone while letting out little sighs and comments about how busy they are. You start to feel uncomfortable and try to change the subject. You then get one-word answers when you ask a few questions about the date they went on the night before, and the conversation is barely ever steered in your direction. After about an hour of being ignored, the check comes and when you try to make future plans, you get a detached, "Sure, I'll let you know when I am next free," followed by a swift exit.
You open your mouth to call back for them, but they're gone. As you try to rationalize your friend's behavior, it dawns on you that they've been acting like this for a few months now. You spend the cab ride home hopefully thinking that if you just sat your friend down and talked about how they were making you feel, they'd realize their behavior was hurting you and stop. But, you don't. You don't say anything. Instead, you angrily make a mental list of all the things you wish you could say out loud.
1. I hate your job.
I am absolutely here for you, should you need to talk about work. But when it becomes the topic of every single conversation, you need to evaluate if it's worth losing your entire life for. And please, stop making others feel insignificant because they aren't "as busy" as you are.
2. It's called the "vibrate" setting.
Maybe it's just how I was brought up, but I find it incredibly rude to constantly be checking your phone when you are out with someone. If there is a situation where you will need to be completely on top of things for the next hour, kindly do me a favor and reschedule our little lunch date.
3. Could you please stop being so evasive?
We're friends, right? So if I ask you why you're late, at least answer me honestly! And while we're at it, if you're so good at checking your phone could you at least send me a text to let me know you're running late?
4. Please stop acting like your time is more valuable than mine.
Look, it happens. Obviously, people run late or have to reschedule outings. But don't act like being busy gives you an excuse to treat other people like their time is expendable. You don't always know what's going on with someone else's life. So please, call when you're running 20 minutes late and try to schedule plans when it works best for BOTH of you.
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