We've all been there. You meet someone new and they seem amazing. But after a few months or even years of dating, they change. For some people, these changes are minor. For example, you find out they don't really like romantic comedies, or they're not the biggest fan of your sister. But for some people, these changes are major. They become impossible to ignore. You start to think that maybe they were like that all along, and you just didn't see the red flags. Or maybe you're convinced you've been doing something wrong, and this is your punishment. The thing is, when you're in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, it's hard to picture the person you're with hurting you.
While every relationship can hit a rough patch, some situations are just too critical to ignore. Here are six serious instances in which you should end your relationship.
1. You're being cheated on, repeatedly.
I understand that if someone cheats on you one time, it's possible to get through it. In some cases, couples even come out stronger after facing infidelity. Having said that, if you have selflessly forgiven your significant other for their indiscretion and it happens again, it's time to get out!
2. You're being verbally or emotionally abused.
This can be kind of a grey area, because it's not always easy to identify when it's happening. Keep in mind, just because you're not bruised and bleeding, doesn't mean you aren't being abused. For instance, verbal abuse involves (but is not limited to) being called stupid, worthless or a loser. Name-calling, racial slurs or being called the C-word are also forms of verbal abuse. Having once been in an abusive relationship myself, I can understand it's not always easy to recognize. It becomes a vicious loop of hearing something degrading, and then asking yourself what you did to cause this behavior. In some cases I was even told, "If you weren't being such a stupid b*tch, I wouldn't have to call you one."
If this is happening to you, get out.
3. They don't care if they make you cry.
If someone can honestly sit there after hurting you and not care at all if you're crying, this may be very indicative of how much they care about you (or don't).
4. You have to change who you are to be with them.
We all compromise -- seeing a band we don't like here, going to a restaurant we could do without there -- but make sure you aren't changing to the point where you don't recognize the person you're becoming. The person you're with should like you for who you are, not who they are molding you to become.
5. Your affection is being misconstrued for neediness.
Everyone gets emotional every now and then. Even the best of us have our days when stress gets to be a bit too much. But your emotions shouldn't be seen as weakness. It's impossible to keep it cool every second of every day, and in all honestly, you shouldn't have to. Don't get caught in a power struggle of "who can act like they don't care the longest." Love is not about finding someone with whom you can have to upper hand; it's about being honest about your needs with someone and knowing they will be there for you.
6. You're afraid of them.
Whether you're being hit, spat on, pushed or even screamed at, being with someone who scares you is not something you have to endure. Most importantly, don't ever blame yourself for some else's abusive behavior.
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