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Murphy's Laws of Family Vacations

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Jill Smokler
Jill Smokler

1. The night before departure, your child will come down with a cough, cold or broken limb.

2. They will have to pee -- so bad -- three seconds after take off, despite having gone to the bathroom directly before boarding.

3. They will refuse to eat the very same six dollar macaroni and cheese that they inhale at home, when presented with it at an overpriced restaurant.

4. You will forget to pack at least one of the following: enough diapers or Pull-Ups, your cell phone charger, toothpaste other than Sponge Bob Square Pants gel or that most special teddy bear.

5. You will be completely unable to capture a smiling picture of your children in the adorable outfits you packed for that very purpose. Ever.

6. They will be up at the crack of dawn, ready for immediate entertainment, while they sleep soundly until seven at home.

7. You will spend an hour packing packing everything you can think of for the beach, only to be told twenty minutes in that your child is bored and wants to leave.

8. They will miss the toys they never play with at home and the rooms they never want to spend time in. Upon returning home, they won't have any interest in either.

9. The souvenirs you purchase will break or be lost before you even make it back home.

10. You will come back from vacation in dire need of a vacation. Without the kids.

This post originally appeared on Scary Mommy.