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Jilly Gagnon

Jilly Gagnon

Posted: October 13, 2010 12:29 PM

Degrees You Can Use!

What's Your Reaction:

She also testified that part of her job was persuading graduates that their jobs used their training. That meant persuading a graduate who took on $100,000 in student debt for a bachelor's degree in game art and design, that he had a job in his field, when he was earning $8.90 an hour in the video game department at Toys "R" Us. -- The New York Times

Engineering:

A large part of applying your engineering knowledge is making sure the things you design, build, and maintain are structurally sound.

Your education has prepared you for the proper use of the specialized tools of your engineering trade, like your manually-operated earth-removal device, your specially calibrated combination metric and English-unit system yardstick, and a crowbar for rocks. It has also taught you how to gauge the structural capabilities of various types of roadside dirts, from clay to loam and everything in between.

Thanks to your years of study, that ditch you're digging will be a road straight to the future. And to the storm-sewer system, of course.

Applied Mathematics:

With a degree in applied mathematics, you'll be able to quickly and accurately answer such questions as, "what degree of wheel rotation will result in the correct axel realignment necessary to back into this parking space?", "if a 5% van-tax is being applied to the fare, but not the bridge and tunnel toll, what will the new total be?", and "how much did that asshole stiff me on the tip?"

Yes, the world is an exciting place for our graduates. Especially the world between 14th street and Houston.

English Language and Literature:

Some people think they won't find a practical use for a degree in English, but nothing could be further from the truth!

Do you think you'd be able to keep your job as the junior assistant near-door greeter at Walmart, one of the nation's largest companies, incidentally, if you were speaking anything besides English?

Okay, in large sections of the country, particularly the southwest, you might be able to get by without a college-certified ability to speak English, but even then, there are much greater opportunities for advancement to, say, senior cash-register attendant, or even regional management,* if you do speak it.

*Specific regions in question include the electronics department, the sporting-goods corner, and the general mid-store range of aisles.

Chemistry:

Did you know that a shot of espresso is so volatile that after seven seconds standing, it will taste significantly less good to certain discerning consumers? Did you know that milk scalds at 180 degrees, leaving it burnt-tasting, and unworkable for latté art? Did you know how many cups of ice go into a grande-sized Frappucino?

If you answered "yes," then congratulations -- you're putting your college degree in chemistry to good use every barris-day!

Communications:

You know the number one difference between our graduates and individuals who haven't had the benefit of a $100,000+ education?

When our graduates ask if people can spare some change, people listen.

Whether or not they have change to spare is, of course, a secondary concern.

 

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