"Mattel plans to bring out versions of Barbie and Ken styled after four 'Mad Men' characters." - The New York Times
Hey girls, do you love painstakingly accurate recent-history period detail? Do you like to play "high-powered daddy and hollowed-out, miserable, stay-at-home mommy?" Are you desperate to reenact scenes of the middle-class ennui that lives in your house, too, giant, toothed, and always just out-of-sight, via the relatively "safe" double remove of dolls, themselves representatives of "another era," as a form of rudimentary self-prescribed therapy?
Then Barbie Mad Men are just for you!
Dress Betty up in all the trappings of her 60s-era gilded cage! See how many different mommys daddy Don can meet in one night! Gleefully ignore the looming sexual and social revolution that will forever make this world obsolete!
Just look how much fun Julie and Emma have playing with their Don and Betty dolls:
JULIE: I thought I told you three fingers of scotch! This is two at best! I know you're not using your degree, Betty, but for Christ's sake, is counting all that hard?
EMMA: But Don, look what happened at the last company party! You need to cut down on your alcohol. Doris told me...
JULIE: The only thing I need to cut down on is your back-talk, woman! SLAP!
EMMA: Waaaa! I'm divorcing you!
That's just one of the almost endless scenarios you can act out with your Mad Men Barbies! What happens if Betty gets bored with a bottle of Don's best scotch? If Don's first mistress walks in on him and his second mistress, will everything explode in his face, or will it just get more...fun? And whose baby is Kelly? With Mad Men Barbies, its all up to your imagination!
Your Don Draper Ken doll comes in a well-pressed flannel suit, with a tie that you can take on or off for his "late nights" at the "office," and a pearl necklace, pearl bracelet, and pair of diamond studs to give his wife as guilt-palliatives after each upcoming affair! Betty arrives in a perky 60s dress, complete with hat, gloves, and Valium prescription to get through her seemingly endless days! And both dolls come with a supply of sticky-tack so they can "hold" the low-ball drinks and cigarettes that they need in order to face their financially beneficial, but spiritually draining existence!
For even more fun, why not try the backdoor barbeque entertainment center? The whole office can lounge on the patio furniture together while Don "takes it easy" at the grill and Betty mixes up the martinis on the fabulous cocktail cart Don's salary bought her, so she should be grateful, dammit! Cart comes with real working wheels, an ice bucket with individual cubes, and enough name-brand booze to make that plastered-on smile real, at least for a few hours!
EMMA: [in a hissed whisper] I can't believe you would bring her here, into our home. What have I done that I deserve that sort of insult, Don?
JULIE: Betty, I told you everything is over between me and Midge, okay? And she works for us, she was bound to hear about the party, I couldn't very well not invite her, could I?
EMMA: You could have if you'd wanted to, but no, you had to have your wife and your...your "strange" side-by-side. Is it just so you can laugh at me? Why do we even keep up this farce anymore, Don?
JULIE: You're becoming hysterical. Settle down before the guests notice. Here, Emma, pretend that Don gave Betty this pill to take to calm her down.
EMMA: [hissing] I can't believe you would deliberately embarrass me this way. [louder] Oh, hel-LO, Midge. I'm so glad you could come!
JULIE: How do you like your steak, Midgey? Rare? That's great - out for blood, huh? Ha ha ha!
EMMA: I'm just going to refresh my drink.
And try our new magic bruise marker - one swipe of this special pen, and Don will look like he got in a battle of more than just words at the office! Swipe it over Betty's arms for when she "falls down the stairs" upon Don's return home after a tough day - we know her nagging will inevitably break his manly resolve! Washes off completely in cold water, so you and your Mad Men dolls can relive a charming era when men were men, and women spoke when spoken to, again and again! With temporary tattoos so you can play along, too!
JULIE [proudly displaying a bruise-tattooed wrist]: Look, mom, I burned the casserole again!
So pick up Mad Men dolls and accessories for your favorite "kept little lady" today, and let your imagination, the cocktails, and Don's fists run wild!
Follow Jilly Gagnon on Twitter: www.twitter.com/jillygagnon