Welcome to the Presidential Fitness challenge: adult edition! To determine whether you're maintaining average adult levels of fitness, please test yourself in each of the following areas:
The Stretch and Look
Can you touch your toes? What about if you bend your knees a little bit? What about if you sit down so that you can bend your knees a little bit more?
Any of these earn you an "Excellent" rating in stretching and looking!
If you were unable to complete any of the above tasks, try this alternative: can you see your toes? What about when you lean really far forward, and sorta crane your neck around to the side to get a sneaky sightline -- can you see them then?
Any of these will earn you a "Satisfactory" rating in stretching and looking!
The Sit Up
Lay down in your bed and go to sleep for eight hours.
When your alarm rings, sit up without using your arms. Okay, you can use your arms a little. Or however much you want -- just try and get yourself up however you can.
Did you make it into a semi-upright position on your first try? That's an "Excellent!"
Did you do it on the second or third time, with or without an extra push or pull from a partner? Satisfactorily done.
Note to educators: If adult cannot perform full sit-up, a "flexed-arm lean" version of the test can be used as a substitute.
Simply prop adult up on his or her elbows from a laying position. If adult can maintain this elbow-propped position without collapse for five or more seconds, s/he will earn a "Satisfactory" rating. Ten or more seconds will result in an "Excellent" rating.
The Flexed-Arm Subway Ride
The last time you rode public transportation and didn't find a seat, did you hold onto something to support yourself? And did you manage to make it to your destination without falling bodily to the ground? Excellent!
If you don't use public transportation, have you ever slid or fallen to the ground while driving or riding in your car? No? Good enough!
Endurance Paying
Please review your gym membership payment records.
Have you paid dues to a gym that you're really planning to make time for more often, sometime soon, at any point in the last year? Excellent!
Failure to pay said dues will result in an incomplete in this test. If, however, adult has "really thought seriously" about joining a gym within the last calendar year, that counts for something.
Lift-Ups
For this adult fitness test, please procure an adult beverage.
How many times can you lift the beverage to your mouth before falling asleep in your chair during CSI reruns?
As long as the answer is "more than once," you're right on track for this important adult fitness goal.