Sarah Palin isn't stupid. She just thinks we are stupid.
She thinks we will sit there and quietly nod while she yammers like a pageant runner-up answering the final question, and speaks against divisive partisan politics after months of indulging in divisive partisan politics.
She thinks we will believe that she is quitting the Governor's office so she can serve a "higher calling" and "be able to fight even harder for you, for what is right, and for truth." She plans fight for the truth -- just not right this second.
Because the truth is, she is quitting because she has one of the thinnest skins and smallest minds ever to hold office. Her over the top reactions to David Letterman's jokes about her daughter tell you all you need to know. She insults our intelligence by making nonsensical speeches and dredging up hoary political clichés thinking we won't notice ("We fight them over there so we won't have to over here," etc.), and then gets mad when we notice.
Her farewell speech should be required viewing in political science classes until the end of time, so that students can see the ultimate example of style over substance and form over content. Viewing this speech should be accompanied by Dan Quayle's "Murphy Brown" speech and Bill Clinton's "I did not have sex with that woman" speech.
Speaking of Dan Quayle, on Huckabee, he said, "The one thing the media doesn't like in the vice presidential selection is a surprise." Nonsense. When Palin was first introduced, she possessed instant star quality and seemed a formidable candidate who knew what she was talking about. Then it quickly became obvious she didn't. If she had shown a huge grasp of policy and knowledge, able to answer anything Katie Couric threw at her, she might have won the White House. How about taking some of that precious personal responsibility, Sarah?
Quayle also said, "They wouldn't attack Palin if they didn't fear her." Again, nonsense. No one fears Palin. They are just insulted that she is being seriously talked about as a presidential candidate by people who move their lips when they read the funny papers.
Speaking of Ann Coulter, she said Palin was still more popular than Obama and too talented to be stuck being Alaska's governor. Has your head exploded yet?
And don't forget the troops. Whenever a performer wants to get cheap applause, they invoke our troops, saying something like, "I'd like to dedicate this next song to our brave boys overseas." It's a patronizing shot, and only hack performers do it. Palin does it all the time. The most insulting thing she said in her farewell speech was addressed to the media: ''How about, in honor of the American soldier, you quit makin' things up?''
What? That makes as much sense as saying, "In honor of the American soldier, I'm not going to have sex with you tonight, dear." She selfishly invokes the troops to serve her own political ends. Besides, what, exactly, did the media make up? She doesn't say, because she can't. They didn't make up her statement that she knows foreign policy because Alaska is next to Russia. They didn't make up her preaching for abstinence and having a pregnant daughter. They didn't make up .. oh, never mind. It's endless. And the sad thing is, our brave troops actually fight for Palin's freedom to insult our intelligence on the national stage.
At any rate, I look forward to reading her messages posted on Quitter.
Follow Jim David on Twitter: www.twitter.com/fabjim