THE BLOG
04/07/2006 06:51 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Dittiots

When I first started blogging a little over a year ago I was...well, I was a little bitter. The election was contentious, the campaign chippy, and the rhetoric nasty. There was a lot of name calling, which at the time I was happy to join. Freepers and the like seem content to call us 'moonbats,' which I don't really get. It's a ridiculous sounding name, sure, and I guess it kind of conveys a sense of being disconnected from reality. But it's not very funny.

But what about us? 'Wingnut' could represent someone on either side of the political spectrum. 'Rethuglican' isn't really a whole lot better than 'moonbat.' And 'Right Wing Fucktard' just seems a little too mean. So I set out trying to find a better word to describe the "utterly divorced from reality crowd" of which I used to be a member.

The term 'dittohead' doesn't work as a pejorative, because dittoheads are actually proud to be called dittoheads (nothing so defaces a good pejorative like pride). And Rush has the term pretty well locked down, which he defines as meaning you're a fan of the show and you appreciate having someone on the radio who agrees with your worldview. That's a shame, really, because nothing better describes the 'mindless robot' behavior exhibited by many of Rush's fans than the term 'dittohead.'

It may be unfair to suggest that all Rush fans are mind-numbed robots, but there are definitely those in Rush's audience who do mindlessly parrot whatever Rush says. These are the people I call 'dittiots' ('didiots' is an acceptable alternate spelling). Please note, I'm not calling all Rush Limbaugh fans dittiots. Only that specific subset of Rush's audience who live completely within the closed circle of Rush, Sean Hannity, and Fox News.

I've tried to think of a way to illustrate the qualities, features, noteworthy marks or scars, or other characteristics that might help you to identify a dittiot, because in this arena it's difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff. Like 'truthiness,' this is more of an art than a science. Since I'm a Southerner, I am required by law to use the Foxworthy Method. I know, I know. I don't like it either. But, unless you're the President, the law's the law, and we can't pick and choose which ones we like and which ones we don't. So, without further adieu:

"You might be a dittiot."

If you think tax cuts = more federal revenue...you might be a dittiot.

If you've ever accused someone who disagreed with you of being a member of the "blame America first" crowd...you might be a dittiot.

If you think Barbara Streisand plays a significant role in Democratic policy decisions...you might be a dittiot.

If you admire Tom Delay as a "good, Christian man"...you might be a dittiot.

If you bitch about actors making political speeches at the Oscars, but cheered when Curt Shilling endorsed Bush on the Today Show after winning the World Series...you might be a dittiot.

If you think the Clintons had people murdered, and then subsequently run over by a train...you might be a dittiot.

If you demanded an exit strategy from Kosovo, but call those who ask for an Iraqi exit strategy unpatriotic...you might be a dittiot.

If you've ever warned a Bush critic that their words were giving "aid and comfort to the enemy"...you might be a dittiot.

If you believe that there's a liberal bias in the media, but never watch the 'liberal media'...you might be a dittiot.

If you think that Hillary will be the next Democratic nominee for President...you might be a dittiot.

If your criticisms of Michael Moore are largely weight driven...you might be a dittiot.

If you believe in the ability of Personal Responsibility to overcome all obstacles, but blame the liberal media for Bush's failures...you might be a dittiot.

If you own 'Club Gitmo' merchandise...you might be a dittiot.

If you get most of your news from opinion shows...you might be a dittiot.

And finally...If you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car...well, then you might be a redneck. But if you ARE a redneck, be careful...you might be a dittiot.

Here are a few more that were suggested to me by readers:

If you think fighting them over there keeps them from coming over here...you might be a dittiot.

If you think that we're still going to find WMDs in Iraq...you might be a dittiot.

If you're worried about the decline of 'family values,' but you're still a fan of Rush, Bill O'Reilly, and Newt Gingrich...you might be a dittiot

If you still order "freedom fries" with your burger...you might be a dittiot

And last bot not least, my personal favorite...

If you have more than one "Support Our Troops" magnet on the back of your Hummer...you might be a dittiot.

These are just the low hanging fruit. Please feel free to add your own.