THE BLOG
10/22/2010 11:26 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Ballad of the Tea Party Triumphant -- a Rhyming Rant

VERSE:

In this year 2030, I'm proud that I dwell
In the land of the free and the home of "To hell
With the government's paws
In our life!" No more laws
That would make us a Socialist State!
Ayn Rand! And Rand Paul! You are great!

CHORUS:

Oh yes government is evil!
And it had to be shrunk!
So we led a grand upheaval!
With our Tea Party spunk
We got rid of a lot!
Now I've got diddly-squat
Of a life -- who'd a-thunk?
But I've got my ideals -- unsullied!

VERSE:

Oh the minimum wage? We abolished that floor.
As for Social Security? That is no more.
Cuz it got privatized
(Some would say "ill-advised")
Just a year 'fore a Wall Street collapse.
Yes we all rolled the dice -- and threw craps.

CHORUS:

Oh yes government is evil!
(Etc.)

VERSE:

So I'll walk down to Wal-Mart and 'ply for a job.
Hear it pays buck a hour -- and that draws a mob
Of some folks sixty-plus
Like myself. All of us
Love free enterprise -- it's free from sin!
Don't let government ever butt in.

CHORUS:

Oh yes government is evil!
(Etc.)

VERSE:

But upon second thought, I cannot make that trek
Down to Wal-Mart today cuz I'm fev'rish as heck,
Ate some really bad food
And could die! Oh hey who'd
Have seen this when we set out to slay
That intrusive old nag: FDA.

CHORUS:

Oh yes government is evil!
(Etc.)

VERSE:

Yes we drained -- yes we did! -- that big alphabet soup:
FDA, EPA, SEC -- in one swoop!
All those damn bureaucrats!
Drained their vile habitats!
Now they can't set themselves up above
All the companies we dearly love!

CHORUS:

Oh yes government is evil!
(Etc.)

VERSE:

So today, 2030, I ask each grandkid,
"Aren't you proud of us Tea Party folks -- what we did?
We're the folks you should thank!"
But the kids just look blank.
Tell me why are these youngsters such fools?
We abolished those damn public schools.

CHORUS:

Oh yes government is evil!
(Etc.)

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