N.O.P.E.: National Organization of Pissed Off Elders
I want to create a new organization to stamp out stupidity and indifference and restore common decency and goodwill into society. I think I'll call it the National Organization of Pissed-Off Elders (N.O.P.E.).
What's pissing us off?
A lot more than just "aging" issues like Social Security, pharmaceuticals and our sex lives.
First, it pisses us off that the people in charge are squandering away the opportunities they had to make the world work, or at least be a better place. For example ...
- Thinking we get stupid as we get older
- Growth at any cost
- Short-sightedness
- Self-righteousness
- Special interests
- Contrived controversy
- Bullying, greed and intolerance
- Turning an economic mechanism like capitalism into an ideology
- "Us versus Them"ism
N.O.P.E. could have both positive and negative strategies. For example, when we're talking to someone who is speaking baby talk to us or raising their voice so we can hear, we could shout back as a kind of negative counter-attack. Or we could speak more softly and get closer and closer to them, well inside their comfort zone, until we're whispering in their ear.
As for the inhumanity of computerized answering systems, we could press our way through until we get a real person and then, using the authority of age, work our way up to as high in the organization as we can get. At that point, we could lapse into a geriatric mindwarp and begin to tell the person in charge the story of our life in excruciating detail and remind them why they should be ashamed of their insensitive and customer-killing phone ladders. Didn't their mothers ever teach them about having good manners on the phone?
We could hold classes on how to get through to clerks and bureaucrats who don't listen to us and who more or less ignore the fact we are human beings. It is true that many of these people are equal opportunity ignorers and ignore everyone. The N.O.P.E. class could teach garlic eating as an effective way of increasing the efficiency with which people serve us. We could add sound effects to our requests for customer service: explaining to a store clerk that the ticking box attached to our chests is a new kind of external pace-maker might help speed up their responses.
Then there's traffic. Eventually the 70 million Boomers in the USA will be eligible for those cool little motorized scooters. If we all got one, then there could be 70 million scooters (or more, taking into account two-scooter families). If we all took to the highways, we could slow down traffic and save countless lives. It might even return us to a kind of horse-and-buggy pace of living and start a "stop and smell the roses" movement. We could even have scooter parties where we all hang out at the Dairy Queen and listen to loud music while trying to pick up a "cutie." My favorite possibility: crank up the scooters and have drag races. I think that might add new meaning to the buzzword for us "Zoomers."
Pissed-off Elders could also get involved in politics. What if we organized as independent candidates, kind of like the independent movie producers organized to break the power monopoly in Hollywood? If we voted in a couple of hundred independents into the Congress and 50 or so into the Senate, then independents would be a block of folks that would not be beholden to a party. They could follow their own conscience when they vote, and try to represent the equally independent people who voted them in. This could break the back of the two-party power cartel, reduce the costs of elections by billions, and put democracy back in business (rather than democracy being the business). Our slogan could be "Don't be a Dope, vote for NOPE". The platform would be simple: common sense, maximum individual freedom and compassion. Our foreign policy would be "apologize and homogenize" while respecting and valuing differences -- we'd negotiate based on principle, rather than power.
N.O.P.E. would also take responsibility for all the stuff we would be complaining about. Our motto would be "Clean up the Mess before we Die".
So what do you think? Want to join?
© 2009 Jim Selman. All rights reserved.
Linda Bergthold: Finding a Place for Mom (or Dad)
For many families, the time will eventually come when mom or dad cannot live alone safely. And woe is the family member who has to deliver that message -- it's best to be prepared.
Kelly Matheson: Why Healthcare Reform is Good for Older Americans
The Elder Justice Act in the health reform bills would finally provide the increased federal resources and leadership to prevent, detect, treat, understand, intervene in and, where appropriate, prosecute elder abuse.
Noah Mallin: Social Media: How Delta Airlines Loses Business One Customer at a Time
I just had an absurdly Kafka-esque experience with Delta Airlines in Atlanta that involved missed connections, a seeming tour of the bowels of the airport, and some of the worst customer service ever.
Deepak Chopra: The Best Aging Secret: Make Time Your Friend
We've all been conditioned to look upon time as our enemy. This belief is wrong, but it's so deeply ingrained that if affects even the most gifted people.
Loading comments…
Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to
Count me in. I am also tired of the mumblers, not knowing what it is to say "Please" or " Thank You" and God forbid to ask one to repeat because they spoke so rapidly that no one could understand just what was said. I have given interview training for several years and when one blows an opportunity, it is the degree's fault, not theirs. But I am just an old fogie, RIGHT? When can I sign up?
The only problem is that the elders bear a great deal of responsibility for the problems we are encountering today. This just encourages them to once again blame the younger generation and fosters the sense of entitlement that I encounter with my friends...
I just loved this post!
Thank you!
It's NAPOE.
See Ed Gurowitz, Ph.D.'s Profile
Jim,
Bravo! Put me down as a charter member of NOPE. I love it. BTW, I'm a big fan of the Get Human database www.gethum
Down with AARP, up with NOPE!
Ed
I'm in.
Sincerely, a baby baby boomer (I just turned 60, and as a young girl had to walk to school 'midst snow and rain uphill both ways barefoot, and don't you forget it! In MY day, we knew how to work! Why, I worked in the fields after school every day, hoeing the crops, and I even got to pick my own spinach which I was happy to do--HAPPY I SAY!--just before dinner. We didn't have any high falutin' COLOR tv's back in the day. We were happy--HAPPY I SAY!--to listen to the radio, after mucking out the barn. And we knew the value of a buck back then. Why, I remember getting a 5 cent Coke, and a hamburger and fries for 1.50. And don't get me started on national safety! Why, I recall the days of duck and cover--now THAT made us ALL feel just about as safe as can be. And don't get me started talking about how country doctors came calling when little Ferdy took sick and couldn't make it to the office! (really--don't)).
I blame all repetitive phrases on incipient senility. I'm a good member of N.O.P.E.
Health Care Reform and Medicare Advantage
One of the proposed ways of reducing Medicare costs that is being considered for inclusion in the health reform bill is to eliminate the subsidies paid to private insurance companies who sell Medicare Advantage plans. The savings will amount to $177 billion over the first ten years. The insurance companies have mounted a huge campaign to scare people, especially seniors, into believing that this will result in drastic cuts in benefits and increased premiums. Remember that independent assessments of the Medicare Advantage program say that it costs the government (i.e. the taxpayer) about 14% more to provide health care service through that plan rather than through basic Medicare and other channels. That extra government money goes into the health insurers’ coffers, not to seniors. We’ll look at how Medicare Advantage came about, how it works, the benefits offered, the potential effect of cuts and what the government and seniors can do to counteract the potential effects of cuts in subsidies. We’ll also look at how you can decide whether or not to enroll in a Medicare Advantage program and how to avoid the many scams that use them to defraud seniors. [...]
http://sil
count me in,count me in, count me in,
oh...excus
I'll sign up,just tell me which library has the forms,or are they at the post office?
SIGN ME UP... N.O.P.E.!!
Funny! I sent the link to all my elder friends.
Unfortunately, the headline says "National Association of Pissed-off Elders", which would be N.A.P.E.
It's actually NAPOE.
Rhymes with MAYPO.
What a creative & constructive idea! I've got a mop & a keyboard sign me up! :-)
I'm not sure I am ready to admit that I share your feelings. Because being a pissed-off elder would seem to require me to be an elder first - which I am not.
Unless you are willing to concede that the amount of indecency a person has seen is the true marker for age. In that case, I am probably my own grandpa.
Oh, no!
You say You are your own gran'pa -- that qualifies you for the Jerry Springer Show! So, of course you can join our youngin sub chapter. the NOPEYs. *J*
you wrote:
So, of course you can join our youngin sub chapter. the NOPEYs. *J*
---
Are you representative of the book of J? Heck, anyway, I could even found a new gospel, don't ya think?
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, nobody but my favorite philosopher Jesus.
How old do we have to be to join?
Count me in, Jim. If we screw up, we can always claim Alzheimer's.
I'll join, heck, I'll run for office, if I can suggest that we expand the name to N.O.P.E.D
National Organization of Pissed Off Elders (and) Disabled? Because the disabled, elderly or not face the same challenges
I'm thinkin' ours should be the biggest tent in the land -- come on home! We'll quilt, knit, crochet, bake and entertain you!
People have been telling me for years I should go into stand up comedy. Until they find out that my comedy heroes are George Carlin and Denis Leary
My sense of humor is too "Blue" for most people LOL
I have always appreciated your posts, even if if I have not replied to them.
I always am thoughtful after reading your intelligent and witty posts, PlaceboStudman.
So, I say, You go!
You have a great spirit and it is appreciated.
:)
You must be logged in to comment. Log in or connect with
