Today as I was driving to my sister's surprise Birthday party, I found myself thinking about God. And as I so often do before I get into a car, I did my typical wink up to the sky. I thought about all the amazing people I met this past year, among them, a new friend named Asher. Asher is about as beautiful and gentle a soul there ever was, and yet he questions whether there really is a God. And not just simple questions, but really thought out good questions. Questions that make even someone like me, who has never questioned the existence of God, step back and think...
So there I was driving along the freeway, thinking of God, and about Asher and why it was I left so damn late for a surprise party.
The fact of the matter is none of us really know whether or not God exists. For some reason, blame it on my Godmother Bella, I simply have never had any doubt.
In fact, I'm in constant communication with God. As if God is watching directly over me 24/7. How vein, I know... But it's true. I always say God must really love me, why else would I have so many amazing people in my life?
So as this sacred New Year begins, I celebrate the spirit of my Godmother. After all, she gave me the deep faith and connection I have to something I call God.
She once said, "Jimmy, we live in a world where you have to see something in order to believe it. If anyone ever asks you about God, or how you can believe in something with no proof it exists, just remember to tell them the story of the little old man."
When I was a little boy, I had a toothache. And my godmother told me the story of a little old man who was dying in the hospital. One day his atheist doctor came into the room as he was praying and asked what he was doing. The little old man said "I'm praying to God." The atheist doctor stared at him and said "Have you ever seen God?" And the little old man said "No. I've never seen God." And the atheist doctor asked "Then how do you know God exists?" And the little old man stopped for a moment, looked out the window and said "Have you ever had a toothache?" The atheist doctor replied "Yes, I've had a toothache." The little old man then asked,"Did it bring you great pain?" And the atheist doctor said "Of course it brought me great pain." The little old man then paused, and with a gentle smile asked "Did you ever see it?"
I always had Bella tell me that story when I was a little boy. It just made me feel so good.
Maybe it came back to me tonight because my older brother missed my sister's surprise birthday party over of a toothache. Or maybe it just came back to me because Bella so loved my sister. For whatever reason, come back to me it did....
I'm no longer a little boy, but as I become that little old man, my faith in God seems to deepen and deepen. Even though I can't see my Bella anymore, and even though I know too many in this world she does not exist, the truth for me is the very dearest friend I may ever know, is now no longer seen. She lives forever in my heart, and she visits me every day of my life.
Like God does.
It's true; I cannot see either of them with my eyes. I can't prove to anyone that they're really here, but there isn't a day in this great life that passes ~ THANK GOD, where I don't feel them there.