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Juicy Jincey's Binoculars: Adventures in Fantasy Land

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I make dreams come true.

Of course, I started with my own fantasies: fame, fortune and romance.

To be honest, for a long time, I don't even think I knew what exactly I wanted out of life. I suppose a lot of that had to do with living in the closet. You see, when I was growing up, I didn't even know what a lesbian was. I learned about women who kissed women on the Howard Stern show. Fast-forward through two Southern debutante balls, a zillion boyfriends, law school, coming out to my conservative, Republican mother... and then you can begin to understand the vastness of the disconnect between who I am and who I was expected to be.

I'm a lawyer by trade. Not a genie.

However, while working at a law firm in lower Manhattan near Wall Street, my life changed forever. I was working on a case with a team of about 20 other lawyers. We had very little actual "work" to do, so for months on end we would do nothing but play "movie pong" and shoot the shit. I was uninspired. I was bored. I felt like I was dying one day at a time.

And then I started talking about sex.

Wholly captivated by the endless drama of my love life, the big group of straight guys I worked with couldn't get enough of my stories. They needed to know every little detail about how my dates began and, more importantly, how they ended. My man-friends believed that they knew everything there was to know about lesbian sex, thanks to the gracious plentitude of girl-on-girl porn in America. In reality, however, they were categorically confused. And they wanted me to explain everything to them. From the beginning.

So, at their urging, I began writing a sex blog. An anonymous, innocuous public diary of my sexual misadventures. I wrote in graphic detail about my sexcapades throughout New York City and beyond. Spending my days focused on something I loved and enjoyed brought color to the grey hours behind a computer screen in a conference room, overstuffed with suits.

My newfound passion bled its vibrancy into every aspect of my life. I fell in love. I also found a way to begin to see a new future for myself that didn't involve 70-plus hours at the office. I spotted an opportunity, one for which I was uniquely positioned to reach.

Porn.

2011-09-27-DHO_36887.jpgIt's a part of all of our lives, whether we like it or not. Personally, I was always fascinated by it in a way. As a kid, I somehow uncovered a secret stash of porn movies that my dad had hidden behind drawers in our family room. I checked out those videos and then snuck them back. I subscribed to Playboy my very first semester of college. In law school I went on the hunt for good lesbian porn, but I couldn't find anything that felt really real to me. Everything was very cheesy. I wanted to see sex like it was in classic movies: sensual and glamorous, but real.

Being a resourceful girl scout, I set out on a mission to make the kind of movies that I would want to buy. I hedged a tricky bet that other women felt the same way I did. I sought out an investor, struck a good deal and quit my job.

Three years later, my films have risen to the top of the industry, and women (and men) from all over the world write me letters and emails saying how much they love my movies and how they were dying to watch something just exactly like what I've created. The media calls me "the lesbian Hugh Hefner," and people everywhere come to me and tell me their fantasies.

It's pretty incredible. If a mystic had come to my law school graduation and offered to tell me my fortune, I would have paid her and sat in rapt attention as she foresaw my future. She might have said, "Mmm... ah, Jincey, I see that within the next five years, you will marry the woman of your dreams... you will live in a beautiful apartment in Chelsea... and you will run a lesbian chic brand devoted to sex and all its many wonders..." Well, I would have snatched that crystal ball right out of her skinny hand and said, "Listen up bitch, I want my $20 back."

I would have thought that some things are too good to be true. I would have never believed that all my dreams could come true. But they did.

I'll tell you plenty more about how I got here, where I'm going, and how to make your own fantasies become realities, but you will have to come back every week to read what I have to say.

My column is called "Juicy Jincey's Binoculars," because it's about seeing the world not as it is, but as it could be.

It will be a mission we take on together. Listen, I screw up all the time. I cry. I fall down often. But the truth is that when I pick up my binoculars and look at the world around me, it's more fantastical than anything I could have imagined as a little girl. I want to show you what life looks like through my lenses.

See you next week, new friends.