Personal Transformation: Personal Responsibility

Few would say that personal transformation is easy. Or as our friend Lew Epstein put it -- "It's simple, but not easy." "Simple" because the information about how to transform is available from many sources, such as your spiritual path, articles, books, teachers, coaches, the Internet -- but top of the list is your inner wisdom.

"Not easy" because it takes being mindful about the small everyday things, letting go, and shifting our beliefs. The way through is personal responsibility.

Doing so is most difficult when we're right -- I mean really, really right. The evidence is right there before our eyes. It's obvious.

We're absolutely right about the fact it's the other person's fault, the company we work for isn't doing what they promised, or our own spiritual path is the best -- right on down to the little stuff like the best way to drive to the store, the fact our spouse doesn't accurately remember what happened, and our political views. No doubt about it, right?

One of the most challenging things for me is to let go when I am right -- even when I know it's far more responsible and rewarding to do so, and even though I've learned that it's not worth the price when it's at the expense of someone else's feelings. Yet every time I just let it go, I achieve another personal transformation. And to be clear, I don't mean just keeping my mouth shut even though I'm still 100 percent right. I have to let it go completely -- thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and all. Poof!

Simply said, follow the advice of Anthony Robbins:

"Whatever happens, take responsibility."

The Cost of Not Taking Responsibility

Here are some examples of personal irresponsibility. Have you see the cost of:

• Grown up kids still blaming their parents for their problems?
• A team member who gossips and points out the faults of others?
• Blaming our genes, our medication, our lifestyle, or our work for the fact that we can't lose weight?
• Calling ourselves the victim of mental abuse, when our own rapid response is just as painful?

In what ways are you paying the price for not taking responsibility?

Top of my list at the moment are 1) breaking my workaholic addiction -- even though I have way less on my plate these days, and 2) losing the 10 pounds I gained last year. I can see the problems, but I'm not being responsible about solving them, even though doing so would be hugely transformational for me.

Payoffs for Taking Responsibility

One thing I know for sure: The more responsible I am, the more people and things around me transform. The process is automatic and natural -- and it begins with me. Here are several examples:

• Taking complete responsibility for our finances has led to our being millionaires -- and is enabling us to give generously to others.
• Sticking with the Best Year Yet business, no matter what, has created the possibility of generating transformation for many, many more people.
• Giving up being right with Tim (including my righteous and judgmental thoughts about him) has brought a new level of happiness, partnership, and love.

How has taking personal responsibility transformed your life?

Recently my brother didn't feel at all well, so bad for example that he couldn't play golf. As a heart attack survivor, he decided to get an EKG. The doctor reported that he was just fine, no worries. But he still didn't feel well so he kept checking until he discovered a week ago that one of the main arteries in his heart was 70 percent blocked and another main artery was 99 percent blocked!

Several days later he underwent bypass surgery and is now recovering remarkably well. We're all so grateful that he took personal responsibility for his health because if he hadn't, he might not be here today.

Steps to Taking Responsibility

Answer these questions as accurately as you can:

1. In which areas of my life am I not being responsible?
2. In which of these areas am I going to begin taking responsibility?
3. What outcome do I want as a result?
4. What step am I going to take today?

Several months ago I was watching a 60 Minutes report on homeless kids in Florida. It was there I discovered a 15-year-old homeless teen by the name of Ariel Metzger -- an inspirational poster child for personal responsibility if ever there was one. She's interviewed twice in this very short segment, near the beginning and at the end. Ariel talks about personal responsibility with clarity and wisdom in such a powerful, yet simple, way.

What's Next?

Thanks again to those of you who have written to join in this journey of personal transformation. Here are a few of your responses to last week's question: "What am I doing to invest in myself?"

• "One of the ways I am investing in myself is doing vision education to improve my eyesight. In order to do this, I have to be much more relaxed -- eyesight weakens with strain, so I am learning to be more focused -- taking one thing at a time."
• "I love getting requests for an article, but soon the request transforms into doubt that I have anything worthwhile to say. What to do? I have decided that the best thing to do is to stop thinking and start writing. I discover again the pleasure of moving from thinking in order to write, to writing in order to think."
• "I don't think I have too much wrong with me. Not enough money maybe, but that is all. I like myself -- more and more each month lately."

The next article in this series is called "Personal Transformation: Anything is Possible."

As a partner on this journey, please share your answer to this question: How has taking personal responsibility transformed my life?

Write your response below this article on The Huffington Post. Or I'd love to hear from you directly at [e-mail].

For more by Jinny Ditzler, click here.

For more on mindfulness, click here.

 

 

 

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Comments

[shoogie]

09:27 PM on 03/29/2012

Ms. Diztler, your article just reminded me of a favorite story my grandfather used to tell us as children when sitting around the campfire. It's a bit too corny to share here with the HuffPost audience, but you do bring to my awareness a longstanding desire to write these stories down in a notebook when they come to me so I can put together a collection for the great-grandchildren some day.

For taking personal responsibility today, I'd have to say taking even the smallest steps toward realizing my personal dreams brings me ever closer to becoming the woman my grandfather saw in me.

Thank you and I really enjoyed the video on homeless children. They are truly an inspiration!

[Jinny Ditzler]

06:53 PM on 03/30/2012

Hi ~

Your words are so touching to me. Your grandfather would be so proud of you for expressing yourself in this way, and for being motivated to be the woman he saw in you.

And please be sure to start writing these stories down right away ~ even 10 minutes a day will mean all the world to your family one day.

I appreciate your sharing yourself with the other folks on the Personal Transformation trail.

Take care.

All the best,
Jinny

[yinkadlb8]

07:04 PM on 03/29/2012

Despite the influence of today's societal vices and other negative influences from various media into our lives, taking responsibility becomes a prime resort to get our bearing straight in the tracks of life. It means getting our thoughts in the right perspective and acting on the them at the right time. We need to know that whatever we become in our various lives reflect the attitude we use in confronting the issues on our way to fulfillment of our purpose. Taking responsibility for our actions cannot be overlooked if we are to claim successes for actions taken. Nice writing.

[Jinny Ditzler]

06:54 PM on 03/30/2012

Hi ~

Thank you for your wisdom and your appreciation. I fully agree with everything you say, including the challenges we face from various media who feel they must put a negative spin on so much ~ such as yesterday's late breaking news: "over the past few years, fewer people are dying of cancer --but the issue is that this rate of decline is greater for men than women". What can be gained by making this great news sound scary?

Thanks again ~ have a good week.

Best,
Jinny

[Anne Naylor]

11:50 AM on 03/28/2012

How has taking personal responsibility transformed my life? Great question. Thank you!
Thank you, Jinny.

I take "responsibility" to mean "the ability to respond", not carrying some unreasonable burden, which I did take on for a while.

"Taking personal responsibility" now means responding to the call I hear within me to take action, which also involves listening and being aware of what I am being given. That action alone is transformational because I stop running around like a headless chicken and act with purpose and meaning towards fulfilling my intentions. I also know when it is time to stop taking actions and to hold and observe.

So I become more authentic, healthier, at peace with who I am - and further yet to go with this one so I consider myself a work in progress. But to answer the question, this is today's answer! I am still learning to upgrade my ability to respond.

Joy and blessings to you,
Anne

[Jinny Ditzler]

05:02 PM on 03/28/2012

Thoughtful response, Anne. I was recently at a seminar, where the leader talked about the importance of honesty in a way that mirrored what you say about authenticity. I appreciate your honesty, which you evidence in what you write.

Thanks for sharing your answer with all of us.

Best to you always,
Jinny