What Is It About the Italians?

We've just returned from two weeks in Italy, and I'm filled with appreciation for its beauty and its people. We discovered its magic when we lived in England, and it was just a two-day drive or a quick flight away. I had been away for five years, but I immediately felt relief when our plane landed. For a country with ostensibly similar values to the US, Italy is a world away from the hustle of home.

We Americans live in a special place, but the cost is high. Our intensity brings poor health, unhappiness and separation. Our need to achieve, get it done and make things happen makes it all too easy to miss out on what really matters. We've become so afraid and strict with ourselves that we can't let go and just enjoy ourselves, trusting that somehow the work will get done -- later.

Deaths from heart disease in the U.S. are 106.5 deaths per 100,000 people; in Italy it's 65.2 per 100,000. Here, 30.6 percent of us are obese; in Italy it's 8.5 percent (in spite of all that pasta). Saddest of all is our current divorce rate of 4.95 divorces per 1,000 marriages. In Italy it's 0.27 per 1,000 marriages (note the decimal point). Our per capita income is $33,000, and theirs is $19,000. Hmmm.

Over dinner one night, my husband and I began to theorize about what makes Italians so, well, Italian. We wondered what they are doing (and not doing) to make life so damn beautiful.

They are:

• In love with the sea and their summer tans
• Stylish from age 9 to 90
• Happy to walk to wherever they need to go
• Not afraid to embrace and kiss in public
• Courteous and polite, even in the middle of major festival-day traffic
• Full of joy and a sense of freedom
• Kind, helpful and encouraging about helping visitors learn their language
• Dedicated to keeping fresh flowers on the graves of their family
• Not shy about wearing red jeans
• Great cooks who love to prepare fresh food and take time to enjoy it
• Devoted to their family
• Passionate

They aren't:

• Self-pitying
• Afraid of the sun
• Stressed and worried
• Engaged in endless diet fads
• Suffering from work-life balance issues
• In fast-forward mode
• Out of touch with their family
• Stressing out about organic food. (It's all organic.)
• Having conversations about "what's wrong with me"
• Worrying over health warnings about what not to eat or drink
• Shy about expressing love for one another

I suspect we've been to Italy nearly 30 times by now, and it's so good every time -- always a honeymoon in every way. We fall in love again. We are sexier. Our favorite toast is to "pleasure after pleasure after pleasure!"

It doesn't even dawn on us to feel guilty for enjoying ourselves.

 

 

 

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Comments

[Kimberly Rabb]

12:37 PM on 08/19/2011

I guess I have the only Italian that is not fitting into more than half of what this person wrote about. I love my Italian man, he was born and raised in Rome but he can be self-pitying, he is NOT into fashion, he stressed out more than I do. It is always a mistake to culturally stereotype people, even if your heart is in the right place. I think living with a man from Italy and living in Italy for more than two weeks will give you an accurate view. Italy is beautiful, I think it is lovely but my man from Italy hates the place.

[waspbust]

11:22 AM on 08/12/2011

I noticed that the prime ministers of France, Germany and the UK all went to Italy for their vacations.
Apparently, Italy is a favorite of Europeans as well. Indeed, among Americans, it is only the 4th or 5th most visited country in the world (with Canada, Mexico and the UK being the top countries). If we exclude the first two, as they are close to the US, then the UK beats Italy. Italy, however, is much preferred by Asians, South Americans and Europeans. There has always been a prejudice of Americans against Italians, mostly because of the Anglo-Irish control of the US. Fortunately, the rest of the world disagrees with the US and UK.

[Robyn Twango]

01:22 AM on 07/29/2011

I slipped on the steps coming out of the Temple of Minerva and busted my butt and the first thing I thought was 'I wonder if St. Francis ever slipped and fell here'. But being the history geek I am, every step I took had me in awe. :/

[Robyn Twango]

08:22 PM on 07/24/2011

Very well said. Agreed. Italy is my favorite place in the world.

[Jinny Ditzler]

12:10 PM on 07/27/2011

Thanks, Robyn -- it's such a gift. What's your favorite place?

[Robyn Twango]

12:27 PM on 07/27/2011

The land-locked, green heart known as Umbria. My picture is my favorite view and place, from the balcony of a friend's home in Bettona, looking towards Monte Subasio and Assisi. If I ever get the chance to retire, that's where it will be.