"I hope there's more cases just like this, where people don't want to let their spouses see their kids...I hope it happens more and more, until the law finally says you know what? There needs to be something done so these parents can be with their kids."
These were the words fired by Randall Todd Moore as he denied having "not one ounce of remorse" for kidnapping, sexually assaulting and killing his ex-wife.
But was his ex-wife 'alienating' the kids, as Moore alleged, or trying to protect them from danger?
This case is clear, but as those working in domestic violence and child abuse realize, all too often clarity comes at a price.
Parental alienation (PA, or PAS for Parental Alienation Syndrome), a topic pro-PA psychologist Richard Warshak recently covered on Huffington Post, alleges a parent poisons the mind of a child to fear or hate the other parent. The defamation results in a damaged relationship or estrangement.
Those opposing parental alienation admit parents can bad-mouth the other parent either deliberately or inadvertently; however, factors such as poor parenting skills or personality on the part of the mother or father and stages of normal development or reactions to divorce on the part of the child can also cause alienating behaviors.
Dr. Paul Fink, President of the Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence, and a former President of the American Psychiatric Association states, "Science tells us that the most likely reason that a child becomes estranged from a parent is that parent's own behavior. Labels, such as PAS, serve to deflect attention away from those behaviors."
More dangerously, parental alienation can mask domestic violence, child abuse and child sexual abuse. What is the difference between fearful or uncooperative battered women and alienating," vindictive" mothers? If parents try to withhold access to children, are they alienators or protectors? If they try to provide evidence of abuse - interviews with psychologists, medical examinations or discussions with the child - are they gathering proof or further alienating the ex? What is the difference between alienated children and abused children?
The behaviors can be indistinguishable.
Indeed, it's not just domestic violence survivors' advocates who witness the problem with PA. The American Bar Association, American Prosecutors Research Institute, National District Attorneys Association, and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges all denounce the use of parental alienation in the courtroom. The National District Attorneys Association says on their Web site, "PAS is an unproven theory that can threaten the integrity of the criminal justice system and the safety of abused children."
That hasn't stopped courts from using PAS, resulting in accusations against individuals, mostly women, of maliciously denying access to children.
Katie Tagle, for instance, sought a restraining order on Jan. 21, 2010 against her ex-boyfriend Stephen Garcia to stop him from having unsupervised visitation with their nine-month-old child.
She told the judge Garcia threatened to kill the infant. The court transcript records Judge Robert Lemkau as saying, "One of you is lying," and later, "Mr. Garcia claims its total fabrication on your part." Garcia also referred to it as "little stunts and games" that she used to deny him access to his son.
Even when she tries to produce evidence of the threats, he says, "Well, ma'am, there's a real dispute about whether that's even true or not." And finally, "My suspicion is that you're lying" (said twice). He denied her the order (as did two other judges). Garcia took their son that day and drove off into the mountains. Ten days later, they were both found dead.
The transcript is here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/26434649/tagle-garcia-court-transcript-dent-protection-to-baby-now-bay-is-DEAD
This case clearly demonstrates another issue women have in courts: credibility. It's easier to believe a woman is lying than to believe a man can abuse or kill a woman or child. In reality, in family court, denying abuse is more common than fabricating tales of abuse. Most allegations are made in good faith (see the American Bar Association's 10 Custody Myths and How to Counter Them). And most denials are made by perpetrators, perpetrators skillful at manipulation - even of professionals.
Indeed, we must not forget family court is the place for couples with high conflict and abuse. The overwhelming majority (up to 90%) of couples create their own parenting plans. Those that cannot, go to family court.
Judges, though, have been known to downplay even well-documented cases of abuse and to give more weight to parental alienation than to abuse allegations. In the case of Jennifer Collins, for example, the judge told her mother to "get over" the abuse as at least two years had passed, according to Collins' Web site. The judge reversed the custody decision because her mom's fear was "interfering in his relationship with us." Jennifer's mother Holly took her two children and fled to the Netherlands, where they were granted asylum. (See also the Courageous Kids Network of children who were court-ordered into relationships with abusive parents.)
58,000 children a year go into sole or joint custody arrangements or unsupervised visitation with physically or sexually abusive parents, according to an estimate by the Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence. That's over 1,000 children a week the courts place in harm's way.
Giving custody to the supposedly alienated parent is one way to "solve" the problem of parental alienation. Jailing the mother is another.
Tiffany Barney and Joyce Murphy are two women who've been jailed; their cases were covered in the media. Both alleged child sexual abuse and neither were believed. Barney fought for five years, at times losing custody or having limited supervised visitation. Murphy was called "toxic" to her daughter and deemed the cause of the child fearing her father. She fled with her daughter. When found, she was jailed for felony abduction and later granted limited visitation. It wasn't until three more girls came forward with molestation charges that her ex was finally the one jailed.
A few other cases making headlines include: Court Punishes Woman in Alienation Case; WI: Judge Jails Mother over Daughter's Refusal to Visit Father and Judge Dismisses Abuse Allegations.
To sum it up, any behavior that does not promote access to children can be classified as parental alienation and punished with jail time or limits on/loss of custody. With this threat, parents are less likely to report abuse and more likely to share custody with an abuser.
It should also be noted that when violent partners make good on their threats to take the kids away, it's referred to as domestic violence by proxy -a continuation of domestic violence - rather than PA or PAS. Some battered women who've lost custody use PA or PAS to describe their particular situation. This both minimizes the nature and scope of abuse women face and promotes the use of a dangerous weapon (PA/PAS) that can be used against them in court.
I wouldn't hand an angry man a agun, nor would I readily hand over a legal strategy to potential pedophiles, abusers or killers. Yet that is exactly what PA/PAS is doing.
For more information, visit:
The Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence
Stop Family Violence
Center for Judicial Excellence
http://angiemedia.com/2010/07/22/tonya-crafts-ex-parental-alienator-joal-henke-shows-kids-will-lie-about-sexual-abuse-to-hurt-target-parent/
And by the way the stuff about Holly and Jennifer has already been given a fair hearing in court. These children suffer from Parental Alienation Syndrome, and 20 years from now after both kids are married and DIVORCED they will play out the same bitter hatred toward their ex that their mother did.
The Holly Collins Custody Case.
http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/?p=1267
Another similar case.
do you see motherhood.gov ? Do see billions of federal dollars going into anything about mothers rights? no. Good dads who love their children do not beat the mother of their children.
Its about battered mothers loosing custody to abusers and how it is happening.
The author was quite clear I think in her article.
Well done Ms. Dawson, do not let the hate comments spur you from getting this important info out. Thank You!
Safety trumps access.
A mother would rather see their children safe than see their child.
While it might take some time to determine if a family is suffering from PAS, it is a very real problem that has serious implications in the lives of the parents and children who are experiencing it. A form of child abuse also, the term Parental Alienation refers to the actions of alienating your child from their other primary parent, PAS or Parental Alienation Syndrome refers to the EFFECTS of the PA behavior has on the children. PA is not a breakdown between parents it is a visible breakdown between child and parent. In fact, most alienating parents are very subversive, low on the radar, they subtly manipulate the children over a period of time that can almost go unnoticed and once the behavior is evident, it is usually the child himself who express that the wants nothing to do with Mom/Dad.
Chelsey Williams,
Alienated Parent
Editor, Parental Alienation Directory and Resource Services
www.padirectory.info-coming in February of 2011
There is also the person who identifies herself as AMPP or angelfury. If you see her website, and all the website associated with it, she has a campaign of emotional terrorism against father's rights advocates, and attempts to parental alienate children from all dads, not just her ex, Hal Richardson.
Fathers Rights groups promote PA/PAS, shared custody, "friendly parent" policies, and punishment for false allegations (which deters reporting). As such, battered women - who protect kids not alienate them, who don't want to share custody 50/50, and who don't look "friendly" have been severely disadvantaged in family court.
Anyone wanting an intro into these groups can look search for Fathers Rights articles on Wikipedia, XY Online, the Liz Library, Stop Family Violence, or the Mothers Rights sites - mostly battered women - that "Alienated Mother" mentions.
Unfortunately PA/PAS lives on. Most medical, scientific, psychological, law, etc. associations discredit the use of this syndrome. It does not meet scientific standards and has been misused in courts to dangerous and fatal consequences.
The safety and well-being of the child is foremost. Access to both parents is secondary. -- The best interest of the child is paramount.Only in low and moderate conflict will co-parenting work. Couples with high conflict or abuse is another story. Children should not be exposed to this or forced to be with an abusive person - either abusive to the other parent or abusive to the child.
Safety first. Access second.
You refer to Dr. Warshak, a contemporary PA researcher and clinician. His recent work has been quantified and peer reviewed in many publications.
You quote Dr. Fink from a time before Dr. Warshaks recent studies were published. More recently Dr. Fink wrote;
“I do not deny that parental alienation occurs and that a lot of people are hurt when there is an alienator…allegations of alienation by a parent need to be investigated. I am very interested in ensuring that the right thing is done on behalf of the children and that we stop any alienation of a parent that is occurring.“
He also wrote the following in the context of PA and domestic.
“I apologize for suggesting that all fathers who accuse mothers of PAS are sexually abusing their children. That was clearly an overstatement that I retract....I hope we can all come to an agreement about what constitutes alienation, how to deal with PAS, and how to proceed in court hearings when someone alleges that one or another parent is an alienator or an abuser”.
I hope this helps evaluate your thoughts.
Robert Samery,
Parental Alienation Awareness Organization
In November 2010, Elaine Campione was convicted of murdering daughters, Serena, 3, and Sophia, 19 months. The girls were drowned in a bath tub. The admitted motivation was to never allow her spouse from ever getting custody of the girls.
Earlier this month Nadine Bernard was convicted of murdering 18 month old Jayden. Nadine told a co-worker she would rather kill her baby boy than watch the baby’s father raise him.
Less than three weeks later, Nadine hooked a hose to the exhaust of her car and put it into the rear window near Jayden, then waited until the carbon monoxide fumes took his life.
All 3 murders occurred on the eve of custody hearings.
Do people on occasion misuse valid allegations of PA or domestic violence?
Yes.
Is an allegation of PA or domestic violence never valid?
You decide.
A politicized opinion about PA is easy, and informed opinion requires more effort.
Robert Samery
Parental Alienation Awareness Organization
When someone writes an article or comment about a certain automobile with a faulty brake system saying something like, "Complaints in the U.S. and Japan about brake problems in Toyota's popular Prius hybrid have swelled to about 180...", no one responds with a comment like, "Yes, but other cars of that same make and model don't have any break problems. So why don't you write about the cars that DON'T have brake problems?"
Most people respond by writing something like, "Wow. Thanks for sharing that information! You might be saving my life or the life of someone I know and love."
My comment here will be more like that kind of comment.
Thank you Ms. Dawson for writing this article. You might be saving my life or the life of someone I know and love.
Julia Fletcher
Family Court in America
It is not in the best interests of children to be abused by parents ever. It is also not in the best interests of children to have their relationship destroyed with a loving parent because of vengeance by the spiteful parent.
If you are unable to call, I'd suggest visiting sites like the Leadership Council on Child Abuse (www.leadershipcouncil.org) or Stop Family Violence.
Deliberately false allegations are rare and based more on stereotypes of women and denial of violence/intimidation. Research by Bala & Schumann find men make more false allegations in family court but stereotypes have more branding power than facts. I'm not denying false allegations occur - by both men and women - I"m saying these are exagerrated and ignore the fact that denial of abuse is more common than abuse fabrications.
Emmanuel Lazaridis, Ph.D.
http://www.ncmec.eu
You see, the "right thing" is rarely obvious to people who are ignorant of the peculiar facts of a particular child-custody dispute.
Consider the case of Christopher Savoie, the man who was arrested in Japan while attempting to kidnap his children, who are Japanese (mom) as well as American (dad). After many years of living in Japan, mom and dad went to the United States (it doesn't matter why) where, after a short while, they were divorced. A year goes by. Finally, the Japanese mom gives up attempting to make a life in the States, picks up her kids and returns with them to Japan. Now, regardless of any American court orders, and in light of the fact that the dad worked for years in Japan prior to the end of his marriage with the children's mother, could it not be argued that the "right thing to do" is to have the dad move to Japan and stay there? Indeed, you would have to agree, in order to be logically consistent with your imprecise hypothetical.
But, alas, the world is full of hypocrites: http://bit.ly/glPlBB.
http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/DVP.html