"A President Who Fights With You and for You"
I know what he meant. He meant that together we would fight for full equality and that he would advocate for us to get there. But the line is also true if you look at it the other way. Over the rest of his first term (this is how I like to think of it), he will continue to battle with the gay community. Because we are impatient.
Maybe the Obama administration didn't anticipate just how impatient our impatience would be. But it makes sense if you think about. Let's say you were locked out of a house for eight years. And then let's say that after those eight years, a man you saw as a kindred spirit, a community organizer just like you, opened the door and invited you in. You'd have a lot to say. And you'd try to say it loud and fast, worrying that the door may once again be slammed in your face.
Yesterday, several hundred of us -- gay leaders from all across the country -- were invited in. Literally. We were there to celebrate Gay Pride Month and the 40th Anniversary of Stonewall, a police raid in a gay bar in the West Village where the impatience of our community reached a tipping point. No president had ever invited a big bunch of us over for cocktails during Pride Month before. The event was remarkable. Historic. I was proud to be there. Proud to have my partner at my side.
He brought out the good china, he brought out his two most senior advisors (Jarrett and Axelrod). He brought out the baby lamb chops. They tried very hard. They even hired a DJ to play house music (OK, maybe they tried a little too hard).
"Welcome to your White House," the president said to those assembled. It was a smart move to invite us, it was strategic. And he no doubt bought himself some time, gave us a bit of permission to be a bit more patient.
His remarks were good. He honored the work of the gay community, he honored the struggle, acknowledged the progress. He wove a powerful narrative about the evenings of the riots and reminded us that the work will happen "step by step, law by law, mind by changing mind."
And of course I wanted more. (I believe I have already established the impatience theme). I wanted the language of the Department of Justice brief, comparing homosexuality to incest and pedophilia, to be offered as a teachable moment about the prejudice that lives even in those who stand with us. I wanted to hear more about the role he will play in pushing Congress to get these bills to his desk. I wanted a kitchen table story. I wanted to know that he and Michele (and Malia for that matter) talk about the issues of the day over dinner, including ours.
But most of all, I wanted President Obama to come out. OK, I don't mean it that way. I wanted the President to come out as a kindred spirit.
Listen to him read Dreams From My Father sometime. Don't just read it. Listen. Listen to him talk about a world in which he was often an outsider . Listen to him talk about his own struggle to own and honor his identity. To find his place in the world. Listen to him talk about reading Heart of Darkness in an effort to better diagnose why people hate. Listen to him talk with empathy and passion about his work as a community organizer.
He peeked out yesterday at the White House when he said "The truth is when these folks protested at Stonewall 40 years ago, no one could have imagined that you, or for that matter, I would be standing here."
But if our kindred spirit president, who has traveled his very own and very personal journey, can open his heart to us, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue will be more than just a house. We can make ourselves at home.
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I'm sorry Ms. Garry but I for one did not VOTE for YOU or the HRC to be our "Gay Leaders" you self appointed yourselves and you have all done such a horrible job most of you should step down.
YOU are not one of my leaders.
And after reading your stepford gay blog I think you should resign and I am SURE there are many here who echo the sentiment.
Don't worry about it, but DO keep fighting. The way of politics is to listen to the squeaky wheel.
If we all don't continue to press Obama on whatever issue, be it gay rights, environmentalism, health care, financial reform, etc., he will gladly cave to the Republicans in his desperation to get them to love him.
As for any court actions, he is giving us an unprecedented opportunity- the chance to win in the courts. If we fail to challenge all these cases in courts, then the conservatives will simply get another criminal elected president who will wave his hand and continue the GWB-era destruction of America.
More pretty talk and yet what did we get from our fierce advocate?
The DOMA brief.
The continued firing of troops.
The DADT brief.
Rick Warren (with ridiculous handling of Gene Robinson's appearance)
Donnie Mcclurkin
Stealth erasure of "end DADT" language from website
Sotomayor announcement the day of Prop 8 verdict
and on and on
She got some "baby lamb chops." Whatever that is and who cares.
Okay- then when are we marching on Washington? Give me a date and time!!!!
Where is HRC on ideas for an ad campaign? Donations for an ad campaign?
Who is our spokesperson???
I get what he's saying... but I'm tired of the LGBT leadership speaking instead of leading! Lead us- stand up, get us organized!!!!
Start a campaign!!
http://www
Oh and btw the HRC is AGAINST the March on Washington
The HRC is against anything they didn't institute themselves. They are not only ineffective, they are co-opted. The hell with them.
AFVet1A251, good question. The National Equality March is scheduled on October 11, 2009 in Washington D.C.
http://www
The HRC and GLAAD have indicated that they won't be officially endorsing the march. However, while it's important to have people like Joan Garry the big organizations working from within the system, we can't forget about the grassroots political activism that got us where we are today. Working from the inside and the outside is the best combination. Hope to see you there!
And that's the reason this homo isn't giving any more money to either of these organizations. They've been in Washington too long and have been brainwashed like everyone else there. These organizations were created to help pursue our rights, not sell us out. I understand things take time, and it's nice that Obama is willing to speak in favor of our rights, but we expect more. When he was on the campaign trail he made many pro gay statements that have yet to be acted on. He has plenty of staff who can pressure the Congress to act, but instead he puts out a DOJ brief supporting DOMA and comparing our relationships to incest. I don't think I will ever understand why our rights are so hard to get. It's almost 2010 and we are still being discriminated against. Many of us are in committed relationships and have children, we are your neighbors, family members, and friends so I find it disgusting that many will still vote to eliminate basic rights and wish upon us misery as second class citizens. I know my gay brothers and sisters would never act this way.
As a straight heterosexual African American male, I understand your impatience, but this a process legislatively, it's not a magic wan endeavor. It's a process, individual states are taking actions legitimizing American citizens rights and we have a president, that put Gay/Human/Citizens rights on the menu.
Gay Rights are Civil Rights, Human Rights and Citizens Rights, and you have a friend in the White House as evident by his words delivered to our military leaders.
He is not a magician.
I bet you can get married, huh?
So someone who CAN get married is telling others to wait.
How about if I told you to go to the back of the bus, but if you wait, you can eventually come to the front?
Pretty offensive, huh? So is your statement.
So you believe Obama IS a magician?
What's pretty offensive is YOU using another person's painful heritage and history to try to guilt them into feeling crappy about your own perceived lack of rights and freedoms. Especially when that other person likely has less to nothing to do with actually denying you those rights, and particularly especially when that person is not only trying to empathize with you and explain that he does so empathize, but also as he's trying to bridge the divide by explaining why your struggle may not be in vain. Most people would consider that to be the act of a pathetic human being.
Find offense all you want out of other people's statements, but if you have any decency, or even understanding of that particular heritage, leave all sentiments regarding 'sitting at the back of the bus' and such like nonsense out of it. Because I'm pretty sure no on has ever told you OR any of your ancestors to seat at the back of a bus, put on chains, work another person's field or even simply not drive at night in a nice looking car simply because of the complexion of your skin, OR your sexual preference.
There's also the fact that African-Americans would have had to "be patient" for several decades if it had been left up to the states. People here having hissies about your remarks apparently flunked history 101.
And I'll bet that poster DOES have the right to marry the partner of mutual choice -- it's no skin off his assets so he can afford to pontificate.
no he's a politician, and it is our job to call him on bs, and thats what were doing, calling him on bs, dont give me this patience stuff, this man cant be trusted on this issue, the proof, his flip flop on gay marriage, he's a politician (coward), more worried about votes and money than anything else, no man can claim to be a fierce advocate for us and flip flop on gay marriage, no way!!! That shows us more than any wonderful words he throws out, turn off the "gay TM" and if he continues down this path do not vote for him, yeah i know what you apologist will say "you be stuck with a republican then" well considering the way Mr Obama has caved on issues from healthcare to war to bailouts for corporations to handouts to the gay community, whats the difference, i feel more disgust for Obama than Bush, Bush was honest about it, Obama isnt, he lies to get in you pants, both of them are sad characters when it comes to LBGT issues
Flip flop on gay marriage? He said plainly throughout his campaign that he was not in favor of gay marriage but was in favor of civil unions. And you voted for him anyway, right? Or weren't you paying attention?
Which LGBT activist or leader would most of you trusted to come out and speak about the event? Anyone? Any leader, any honest broker, any person that is so down with the cause that you would take their word? Anyone? If you guys don't have people like that, if you don't have a community like that then I can't see how you will be successful politically. You can protest until you are blue in the face, but without some sort of ability to actually make a deal with the white house you will be on the outside looking in at almost all of the political process. It is a shame because you guys are on the right side and I think you could win just about everything, but you don't even have any ability to ask for stuff because anyone who doesn't come out of a meeting screaming that the President is dirt is instantly an uncle tom; until you get everything, nothing else that you get has any validity. What kind of political posture is that? That sounds good on the internet, but in the real world what it gets you is the losing side of an all or nothing fight. If you start an all or nothing fight with the white house be prepared to get nothing. Hey maybe all of you are right and I'm wrong, maybe you have the juice to swing elections and because of that the juice to demand everything and get it.
I get your message, though I suspect the way you've phrased some things will attract more enemies than allies. I also get that you probably don't care.
Mostly though, I agree that most feel it’s an all or nothing fight. What gives me pause is that they've chosen to direct the fight to the one politician that I know of that has publicly supported their cause the most. So I suppose the question I'm left with is, "is Obama really your enemy?". Even if you based your argument on the old adage "if your not with us your against us", in my view he's more with you than against you – no?
I could be wrong, but if that is the case wouldn't it make more sense to direct that energy to the individuals that have not publicly expressed such support.
Just askin.....
Smile real nice for the folks kickin you in the **** lest you offend them. Obama has the power to do far more than he has. The problem is, people know he has the power and isn't using it.
hey genius, we're getting nothing now just like before, feeding a starving dog a peice of popcorn doesnt make you a lifesaver
Would you counsel the same to Martin Luther King during the Civil Rights era?
Think about it. Would you be telling him to kiss butt to get his foot inside the White House door?
If not, then don't insult us by suggesting that we do the same.
MLK held Johnson's feet to the fire, with cajoling, threats and coercion. And that's the only reason the Civil Rights Act was passed in 1964.
Please stop telling us to be happy sitting in the back of the bus until our more powerful masters decide to give us a seat at the table.
We're way too p*ssed off to listen to that garbage now.
I am glad you enjoyed the event. For the rest of us in the trenches, the event did not mean so much. As a community we must keep pushing even harder than ever for equality. Today Lt. Choi faces a degrading hearing in the process of a dishonorable discharge from Military service...
In light of these harsh realities for gay American, one after another, words are not very satisfying, even if they are beautiful and truly felt. We must fight for our very lives.....
Obama to Gays: "Yes we can - No You Can't". respectfully, it's disheartening to read that all it takes to win some gays over is some fine china, extraordinarily vague additional promises, and some amusing humor.
and what's with all the emphasis on gay "families" -as if single gay persons (likely the majority of us) don't make as good a sound-bite on TV. probably because, well, presumably we're out there enjoying all that promiscuous sex!
it's amusing to me to find so many self-described gay-Democrats are now using the same tortured logic that Log Cabin gay Republicans have for years. "there are more important issues right now" "don't push too hard or we'll have a backlash" "etc". perhaps we are seeing that these Obama-fetishists, appeasers, uncle toms and others are evidencing that the LGBT-community is becoming less progressive and it's unity is seriously compromised.
i celebrated in the streets in SF the night of Obama’s victory. and how hollow that jubilation now feels after his insincerity. i have contributed to the democratic party since I was old enough to vote - no longer.
Question - did you vote for him based solely on the notion that he would deliver LGBT equality? Did you honestly believe that within six months he would be able to undue centuries ignorance and unfair treatment to LGBT segment of society? Would you be okay if he delivered equality to LGBT people, without spending a moment to attempt to fix the economy, putting others back to work, lending his efforts to world peace, ending the Iraq war etc.
It’s difficult to speak on these topics because any comment contrary to public opinion, atleast what's publicly attached to these posts anyway, suggests an attempt to belittle your cause. And anyone that is not yelling as loud you are or not as angry as you, or maybe believes in spite of efforts to this point has effectively changed much, is in fact your enemy or an Uncle Tom as the article and/or you suggest.
Historically, NO such fight predicated on changing (entirely) a problematic mindset that exists within many of the people charged with making such decisions can happen over night.
I appreciate and respect your argument, but I think you and several others may be directing your energy to someone who may be genuinely trying to aid in your endeavor. And I just don't know how that can be beneficial. BTW - are you suggesting that Republicans are more deserving of your vote?
"Historically, NO such fight predicated on changing (entirely) a problematic mindset that exists within many of the people charged with making such decisions can happen over night. "
Harry Truman desegregating the military. There was no public or military support for it, and Truman was facing re-election.
It is called leadership.
Again, can you get married? Some of my friends aren't allowed to be legally married.
If someone told you that you weren't allowed to drink from the same drinking fountain as others because you were gay, would that be OK?
THIS IS THE SAME THING. The fact that you don't seem to care that fellow human beings are denied rights is offensive. I hope you never have to encounter it.
Right, be patient. Be polite. Go to the back of the bus and behave?
How naive!
No I didn't vote for Obama just for GLBT issues. I voted for him because of his promises, many of which he has already broken:
1) Close Guantanamo and restore Constitutional values. He's defended Bush policy in Federal Court and now plans to "detain some detainees indefinitely" (unConstit
2) Gave trillions to the banks and insurance companies and crumbs to Main Street, who he promised to support.
3) Said "no tax on health benefits". That was then, now they're OK.
4) Swore DOMA would be repealed, but then vigorously defended it while calling us pedophiles and incestuous. That is unforgiveable.
There's LOTS of reasons I don't believe a damn word he says now, so I'm all for making his presidency as uncomfortable as possible until he honors his word.
Words, words, words.
Sorry. Not good enough. That a few beltway LGBTs got bought off with a meaningless photo op is outrageous.
The only reason we are even getting the crumbs we are getting is because people started pulling out of the DNC fundraiser.
What works is standing up for ourselves.
The only thing I care about is action. The President and his Administration could have filed a supplemental brief on DOMA "correcting" the first or stop lossing the gays getting discharged.
Even if the President cares, and I believe he does, words are not good enough. Having meaningless photo ops to extend "benefits" we already had doesn't cut it and doesn't begin to make up for the DOMA brief.
We need to rescue the gay equality movement from the HRC and other sellouts more concerned with their "access" than taking a stand.
I hope that shrimp cocktail was worth it.
I agree we need to take the reins of the movement out of groups like HRC, and put the reins into groups like PFLAG and other non-political support groups. But we need to do more than that. We need to actually talk, communicate, educate the public. Show them with real faces and real names why these issues are so important. It's easy to dismiss an idea. It's more difficult to dismiss a person when you tell someone why that idea is necessary to our lives
I agree that Obama should have addressed the Department of Justice brief, but I also believe that Obama is the best chance for progress for the LGBT community. The danger to progress seems to be coming from groups like the Log Cabin Republicans who have already written Obama off with their much published news blurb of his changes being "too little too late". Groups like the Log Cabin Republicans are the enemy of LGBT progress. They are to LGBT rights what Sarah Palin is to feminism.
Right now, we are our own worst enemy. We do not seem to be willing, let alone able to do what the president told us needs to be done for us to get these rights. Many of us are perfectly willing to sit back and be Monday Morning Politicians and criticize the president and congress without being willing or able to do any of the leg work ourselves. This is OUR fight, it is OUR lives we are fighting for, and clearly we have paper thin skins that we are still obsessing over Prop 8 and the DOJ brief, and not looking forward to how to make bigger better gains in the upcoming fights we still have yet to fight
I like to think myself as a kindred spirit. I do not understand why people give the gay community such a hard time. Your marriage to your partner would in no way lessen my relationship. I've never heard a logical argument as to why. The president makes me a little nervous with his "trust me" stuff. Actions, not words. I support your efforts, as to me this is the civil rights fight of our lifetimes. One would think an African American president could empathize with your struggle. How in the 21st century we have peopel advocating eliminating a groups civil rights is beyond me. Live and let live. I fiormly believe you were born the way you are, as a close friend of mine once told me, "Why would I chose to have my parents feel uncomfortable about me, to have people whisper behind my back, to lose friends who can't deal with my reality?" Its time for us to grow up, and restore full rights to our brothers and sisters.
If you listened or watched the speech yesterday, the president DOES empathize with our struggle. He just has a different idea of how to reach the same goal as we do. He put the responsibility of this fight on our shoulders, and told us to do the dirty work, and he will support us, when the time is right. It is not the government's role to dictate what people think and how people feel. It is our job as citizens to craft and shape and guide our government based on how we feel. As more people on the ground work and educate and inform one another laterally, THEN it will be the government's time to step in and make the necessary laws and policy changes. But we have to build the framework, we have to craft the safety net for those people who are still, for whatever reason (read religion) scared sh*tless about what will happen when these laws are changed.
Over 70% of the citizens of America support gays in the military. That's more people than voted for Obama. Please don't tell me the support isn't already there. The work is done. The leadership in Washington is lacking.
Thank you. Beautiful.
Strip away the charm and the pretty political correctness, what do you get? Apparently different people heard different speeches. what I heard was Obama telling us that our impatience is justified, but that we have to transform that patience into motivation. Don't sit in the back of the car whining "are we there yet? are we there yet?" Get in the front seat and take the wheel ourselves, or be the navigator for the president and congress to drive the car. Who is really in control in a situation like that, the driver who has to pay attention to 10 things at once just to make sure the car isn't driven off the road, or the navigator who holds the roadmap and can guide the driver on the best path to get where we want to go? From what I heard, the president put the responsibility of this movement squarely on OUR shoulders. We are the ones who are going to do, and who are supposed to do the hard work to get where we want to go. But we must be willing to resist our temptation to take the wheel ourselves or to be a backseat driver when we don't seem to have our own roadmap of where we are going, and its clear the president does. Sadly we may end up taking one road, and he take another road, and it will take twice as long to find out if we end up at the same destination
I'm sorry, but I didn't hear him saying--"YOU will dismantle DOMA and DADT while I'm in office" during his campaign.
I normally agree with you PlaceboStudman, but this time I can't. It is the President's responsibility to set the agenda--and the LGBTQ community is clearly not on it.
Truman ending military desegragation was leadership. This is words, nothing more.
What I heard him saying is "I will dismantle DOMA and DADT and implement ENDA, UAFA and Hate Crimes when the time is right. But you guys will determine when the time is right. When you have shown that you can educate and inform the public about why these rights are valuable and necessary".
And yes, it sucks that people need to be convinced. But they do. The iron fisted grip of religion still has a stranglehold on this country, and it will take years of logic and rational thought to counter the religious arguments before people will realize and recognize these rights as human rights, because, let's face it, there are still a whole heck of a lot of people who don't want to consider us humans still
Sorry--meant Truman ending military segregation.
if thats what you heard and you support him, thats sad
I agree completely, Placebo. As a black, gay man I am bewildered at the reaction of some who demand that President Obama, only on the job for 5 months out of the 48 months that will make up his first term, and apparently with the wave of some magical wand that bypasses the legislative and judicial branches of our government, undo what EVERY president prior to him -- yes, all 43 of them -- has in some way endorsed.
The successes of the civil rights' movement for black folks in this country didn't happen because President Lyndon Johnson magically decided to get on board. That movement succeeded because black folks decided to take ownership of their own lives and to demand that our nation, after 400 years of slavery, lynchings, and rapes, among other things, stop denying them their equal rights. That movement succeeded because GENERATIONS of black folks did their part to move liberty for all forward, even if it was just a little bit. By 1964 Johnson, although he seemed sincere in his support of civil rights, didn't really have a choice.
I'm going to get into trouble for saying this, but here it is: It's most interesting to me that the impatient LBGTQ folks in these discussions are primarily -- well, almost exclusively -- white. White folks aren't used to having their rights denied, are they? White folks aren't supposed to have their rights denied, are they?
Just an observation.
Johnson's signing the civil rights legislation that he did destroyed the Democratic Party in the South.
In other words, he's so charming we should ignore the fact that he's keeping all of Bush's policies?
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