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Joanna Dolgoff, M.D.

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Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right: In Response To Dara-Lynn Weiss

Posted: 03/28/2012 6:12 pm

Childhood obesity is a national epidemic, and while the vast majority of people in this country agree that steps should be taken to curb this growing problem, there are differing opinions about how to do that. Potential solutions have garnered criticism from opposing sides and many parents have become unwitting targets of vitriol despite earnest efforts to help their children strive for healthier lifestyles.

One clear example of this backlash stems from a recent article written by Dara-Lynn Weiss for Vogue magazine's April 2012 "Shape" issue. In the piece, Ms. Weiss candidly outlines her own lifelong struggles with weight management and how she struggles to find balance in her efforts to help her daughter overcome weight-related issues. Part of those efforts involved starting her daughter in my nutritional program, "Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right". While her daughter ultimately loses a significant amount of weight from her initial 6-year-old, 4'4" 93-pound frame (after one year, she has grown 2 inches and lost 16 pounds), Ms. Weiss's methods have received much backlash from readers, bloggers, and pundits alike who have derided her efforts as draconian and severe and point out that her child, despite her fondness for her healthier appearance, was miserable throughout the yearlong exercise.

As part of this backlash, my program, labeled as "the food solution that lets kids be kids," was unfortunately interpreted by some as the impetus for this super-strict approach.

For those who are not familiar with my program, I created "Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right" in an effort to offer families a simple-to-follow and practical plan to help teach children about healthy nutritional and exercise habits. While I do commend Ms. Weiss on certain aspects of her approach (such as limiting her daughter's overall intake of junk food and promoting the consumption of fruits and vegetables), I believe she did fall short of carrying out many of our program's core attributes. The success of my program is based upon its promotion of flexibility and sensitivity... not severity and emotional distress. Not only did the article fail to capture our core philosophies, such as empowering children and advising parents to refrain from embarrassing their kids in public, it also did not show the flexibility of the program, which allows kids a number of indulgences to enjoy with friends every week.

In the Vogue article, Weiss states, "She (Bea) almost never got dessert." However, on the "Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right" program, every week, two red light foods are permitted for children to enjoy, such as, a piece of birthday cake or a dessert when dining out with their family. Our program also allows for one small treat every day, such as a 100-calorie-pack or a cookie; after all, we want kids to feel like kids!

The "Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right" program teaches families how to make healthy choices on their own. We ask families to commit to a minimum of twelve weeks on the program so the healthy choices they learn have time to become lifelong habits. Unfortunately, Bea did not continue her visits for the full length of the program and she missed out on many of the additional benefits our program offers.

While our chief aim is to help children achieve their weight loss goals, "Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right" is not just about nutrition and weight. Weight loss (for adults and children alike) is emotional. Weekly visits with our practitioners give families the support they need as they navigate these tricky waters. Kids will not always make the healthy choice. We teach parents to support their children's decisions (both good and bad) while in public and then discuss the choices at weekly visits. We never want a child to be embarrassed in front of his peers. For this reason, we suggest that parents and kids come up with a "code word" together, as a team, to remind them of their healthy eating goals in public settings without letting others know what it being discussed. This allows kids to make their own decisions and discuss them later during emotionally-neutral nutrition follow-up sessions.

There is no yelling, no finger-pointing, and no criticizing. The sessions are a learning experience for kids and parents alike. At "Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right," we empower kids to make their own choices, take responsibility for their health, and encourage parents to give up the role of food police.

 
 
 

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Childhood obesity is a national epidemic, and while the vast majority of people in this country agree that steps should be taken to curb this growing problem, there are differing opinions about how to...
Childhood obesity is a national epidemic, and while the vast majority of people in this country agree that steps should be taken to curb this growing problem, there are differing opinions about how to...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
William Anderson LMHC
Licensed Psychotherapist, Weight Control Expert
01:33 PM on 04/06/2012
The ideas you express here seem so much healthier than I recall from other articles of yours. Thanks for this article.

Dieting ignited and fueled my obesity problem. I was put on my first doctor's diet when I was seven. My mother religiously followed the doctor's orders and I had to eat things that were awful and be denied cake and candy at school birthday parties. When that was over, things went from bad to worse. And it was not like I got overweight in the first place by overeating on my own. I just ate what my mother served, had to clean the plate, and got to have dessert if I did.

That conditioning as a little kid set me on an obese path that I didn't correct until I was in my thirties and lost 140 pounds, permanently. That was over 25 years ago. I've been helping others since.

Kids should never be "put on a diet" like I was. Your ideas are better.

William Anderson, LMHC
Author of 'The Anderson Method - Secrets of Permanent Weight Loss'
www.TheAndersonMethod.com
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jdiary
Stand with Newtown. Stand up to the NRA.
03:33 AM on 04/02/2012
Good lord, thank you for writing this! I just finished reading that article this afternoon and had mixed feelings. She was confident in her position yet her restrictions seemed cruel and even humiliating. The "program is based upon its promotion of flexibility and sensitivity... not severity and emotional distress." How distressing is it for a child to go to party and not be able to eat cake talk about setting her up for an eating disorder.

My initial reaction when she described how Bea got in this position was that she was to blame. Even I know that a slice of pizza is not an adequate snack for an adult but even more so for a child. It's dinner! Not to be cliche but "back when I was a kid" a snack was a box of raisins or a cookie.

So she sets up her child with habits that are so obviously bad then yanks them away opting severe restriction. My prediction is that this kid is going to have far more issues with food than she would have had, had her mother not intervened.

Oh, one last thing: to top it off, she embarrasses her by writing an article which will probably be read by the mother's of every single one of her classmates. Like she's not ripe for teasing already. Humiliation on top of humiliation.
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Ava Johnson
11:11 PM on 04/01/2012
I have a suggestion, if parents are concerned about a child's weight, why don't they teach their kids how to eat healthy from day one, and then the kid will not reach for the junk food? I grew up with an older set of parents, I didn't eat delivery pizza until I slept over by one of my older sister's house (also had my first tv dinner at a sister's house). Almost all of my meals were home made except when it was too hot to cook in the house and we had sandwiches. None of us were fat kids when I was growing up. Of course, we didn't have video games, we had bikes, yards and could run around. Now I think too many parents are lazy and don't want to teach their kids anything. Just my opinion.
08:16 PM on 03/30/2012
As author of EATING OURSELVES CRAZY, I address lifestyle and environmental factors that contribute to our emotional dependency on foods. We are using food to cope, soothe and comfort which can start at a young age and have health consequences in our adult lives.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Debby Carroll
Blogger, The Joy of Fitness, Fitness Coach
12:14 PM on 03/30/2012
I see a great deal on here about how and what to make the kids do in order to lose weight and be thin. I see almost nothing about approaching this as a family. Make the kids do 2 hours a day of exercise? How about parents and kids taking a daily walk after dinner? Why not schedule the kids a bit less and spend more time as a family doing things that benefit everyone? Healthy bodies are a family issue. What's good for the kids is good for the parents. If you start when the kid is born, you don't have to play catch up later when your kid is obese. Prevention is the key to this whole "kids need a diet" problem.
deborahdrezoncarroll.com
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
dingflofbips
11:26 AM on 03/30/2012
I grew up always asking before i take a snack (whether an apple or chips). Not because my mom was going to say no for reasons of becoming fat (i was very tall and average weight) but so she knew what was still in stock and for timing. Not right before a meal for example, or "if you're hungry why take a sandwich instead" to avoid sugar highs/lows.

I do this too with my son. At 4, I don't allow him to rummage through the fridge or snack cabinet on his own. He has to learn still about when it's OK and not OK. Not right before meals/bedtime, and not when you're extremely hungry (take a piece of fruit or sandwich instead).

It's not food deprivation, it's not dieting, but it's teaching our children a healthy way to live. He learns that when he's hungry he should not fill his stomach with empty calories, but something that nourishes him. For dessert he can have a snack.
08:23 PM on 03/29/2012
I was a fairly normal sized kid who spent more time outside than in. My mother was pretty strict about sweets (only as treats on occasion) and we very rarely ate anything processed. However, I was on the larger size of normal, I was never a petite dainty girl. I had the baby fat thing going on, and my dad was relentless about my being too fat.

Once I hit puberty, my height finally caught up with my weight, but by that time, I had also developed an eating disorder, as well. I'm still battling that eating disorder today in my 30's. I would actually prefer not to eat, truth be told. No matter how thin I am, I will always see that chubby kid my dad felt was too fat to eat.

This stuff sticks with people in ways parents never even imagine.
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jdiary
Stand with Newtown. Stand up to the NRA.
03:37 AM on 04/02/2012
That's too bad. I wish you all the luck on your journey to good health.

Also, I think you may be right on in this case too; I think the author of the Vogue article is doing some long-term damage to her daughter.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
peegan
Silence like a cancer grows...S/G.
07:57 PM on 03/29/2012
The problem was never the diet or the child, it was a mother with an ego gone wild. The whole article was about her and her needs and her "suffering" in order to "help" her child. Sadly she is being rewarded for this with a book deal. Even worse, I suspect the child will pay for this the rest of her life.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
NOTSUPERMOM
A waste of a perfectly good Yale education
08:36 AM on 04/03/2012
That was my take on it, too.
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Sorenson
Time for a Revolt of No Confidence
07:49 PM on 03/29/2012
EDIT> Oh dear. Don't mind this, just another example of the dangers of multi-tabbing with flared tempers.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
dennishastings
Musician
03:55 AM on 03/30/2012
While I agree with you on that, this is an article about parents enforcing a diet on their children.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
prodemlib
Nanny, nanny, boo, boo! :-P
07:24 PM on 03/29/2012
the problem isn't the program "Red Light, Green Light, Eat Right" It's that horrible mother. She took the program and twisted it. She ridiculed and shamed her child to the point of abuse, probably damaging her for life, and setting her up for sever body-image issues resulting in eating disorders
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jdiary
Stand with Newtown. Stand up to the NRA.
03:38 AM on 04/02/2012
Then she published the whole thing for millions to read (with photos I might add) to boot! What do they call those? Momsters?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
afowler712
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspi
06:25 PM on 03/29/2012
Provide a healthy balanced meal for your child to eat everyday! Health is more important than looks. Lots of kids grow out of it, my sister was fat throughought her entire childhood but as soon as she turned 11 the fat melted off, so it could just be baby fat. Don't harp on it, kids need to be kids they don't need to worry about weight.
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06:19 PM on 03/29/2012
living vicariously through one's child or children is so unbecoming.
06:11 PM on 03/29/2012
Nice feet in the caption :-)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
dil123
evangelicals are not christians
04:43 PM on 03/29/2012
I'm sorry, but I said it once and I'll say it again. Slacker!! This woman is a slacker!! If she had gotten her kid in activities from a young age (say two) there would be no reason to put her on a diet. I lived in Florida and my daughter did so many activities that it isn't even funny. We put her in everything. In fact we had her try everything at least once, so she could see if she liked it, and we weren't even rich. This was a rich woman living in Manhattan, and she couldn't find sports and activities for her daughter to do? Impossible!! There's t-ball, and cheerleading, and ice skating (there's a indoor ice skating ring on either Park or 5th or something like that), and ballet, tap and jazz. Heck, even weekends at the Children's Museum can wear you out. Not only that, rich people have the opportunity to buy the healthiest food of anybody? She's just lazy and a slacker and I stand by my statement.
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ghostrider57
Unable to find reality.sys Universe halted
05:11 PM on 03/29/2012
So you are perfect, eh?
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08:06 PM on 03/29/2012
No but she has a good point.
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astroup123
I'm everything Rush warns you about!
06:19 PM on 03/29/2012
Please tell me you also passed along your kindness and grace to your little one.
04:30 PM on 03/29/2012
FOH....if she lets the kids become obese, then people got something to say about that. A doctor told her to get the child's weight under control and she did. Raise your own kids.