THE BLOG
08/10/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Has Feminism Gone Too Far - Or Not Far Enough?

A recent study out of the University of Pennsylvania claims to prove that women are less happy now than they were before feminism, the idea being that all of the equality and choices that our mothers and grandmothers fought for have made us less satisfied than even they were. Well, this is entirely possible. So many of us work our butts off around the clock to bring home the bacon and then cook it up while simultaneously doing the laundry, paying the bills, taking care of the kids and planning our financial futures. And many of us do all of this while constantly beating ourselves up for not looking as young and perfect as the enhanced celebrities whose only job it is to look good. No wonder we're unhappy, but does that mean feminism itself is to blame?

Now let us be clear; we are feminists. We believe in equal rights, equal pay and that a woman can do any job (except maybe Hulk Hogan's) as well as a man. But we admit that we sometimes have fantasy sequences about simpler times when women had one job: to take care of the house, her husband and her children. The problem is that back in the day women were forced into that job with no other options and now it seems that women are forced to do this and approximately twenty-five jobs in addition to that one if you include the hours we spend at work, battling insurance companies, making sure we understand our investments, juggling the bills and the budget, negotiating credit card interest rates, keeping toilet paper in the bathrooms and the dust off the furniture and trading plastic water bottles for the supposedly non-cancer causing aluminum.

Is it feminism's fault or should we blame the economy and society we live in, where both partners need to work in order to make ends meet (unless you're a so-called Real Housewife)? Unfortunately, we have a feeling that they're connected. Women wanted to be able to have it all and we sure got it. We have it all and we have to do it all, and as we've fought for more power and control over our lives, our men seem to have more and more time to play video games and drink beer. They have equal rights, but they're not expected to cook dinner, bathe the kids and do the laundry when they get home from a hard day's work, so how in the world is that equal? (Yes, we know there are exceptions.) So has feminism gone too far or has it not gone far enough? We think it's the latter. If women are going to have to earn just as much money as their husbands, then they should also be splitting the at-home responsibilities down the middle. That is true equality.

But right now, our plates are overflowing and many of our lives are out of balance. So what can we do about it? Until we get longer maternity leaves and real equality, we think that women need to do everything they can to find the balance between work and play in their own lives. Our third book, How to Live Like a Hot Chick, will address this very topic and teach women how to hold onto their femininity and find serenity in the midst of an overwhelming lifestyle. We are in control of our lives and we need to stop pressuring ourselves to do it all perfectly while looking like a supermodel or thinking that we should be as productive as Madonna or Angelina Jolie but minus their millions of dollars and help that money provides. We have fought to have the right to do anything in the world, but that doesn't mean that we have to do everything in the world, and we are so excited to help women find a balance that makes them feel happy, confident, sexy and alive again. If the state of feminism is making us miserable, then let's fight harder to take it further until we have more options than obligations and a true equality that brings us peace and happiness.