How To Eat Like A MILF (A Mother's Day Special)

First of all, you moms are already Hot Chicks! We want you to embrace it and start treating yourselves like the confident, empowered, smart, sexy women that you are. We know you're so busy that on most days you feel like you've gotten hit by a train, so here are some simple tips that will boost your energy, improve your mood, and cut hundreds of calories from your day so that you'll be able to guiltlessly indulge in the foods that you love.

#1 - Stop drinking your kids' juice

Juice is so full of sugar that it's downright sticky, and it's totally not hot to ingest anything sticky, ladies. Anyway, we don't care if it's all natural juice with no added sugars, either. Sugar is natural, but it also makes us fat. It's soooooooooo much better for you to eat a freaking orange and chase it with a ton of water than it is to suck down 300 calories of sugary orange pulp from a carton. Go ahead and give your toddler apple juice, but bite into a juicy Red Delicious, instead. You'll save yourself hundreds of calories, which will help you squeeze back into those pre-baby jeans in no time.

# 2 - Have "date night" with your husband without the stress of babysitters and reservations

Once your kids are asleep, prepare an easy, sexy picnic in your very own home. Make a giant spinach salad, toast some bread, and put out a few different cheeses and fruit. Open a bottle of wine, spread out on the floor, and you'll feel as sexy as if you two were eating in a little European bistro. Just clear the dishes off the floor before you start getting too hot, though. Chunks of ceramic in your butt aren't very hot. This cheap and easy picnic is not only good for your body, but it's good for your soul - you overworked moms need to give yourself something easy to look forward to. Sometimes a relaxed night out in your house is all you need to feel happy and hot.

#3 - Choose your meat as carefully as you chose your husband

Hot Chicks don't fake it. That goes for everything, but especially your deli meats. Go for the real thing - none of this fake, processed nonsense that's coated with poisons and disguised as meat. All of that packaged crap has been treated with hormones and preservatives, and is loaded with nitrates and enough sodium to make you swell up like "Violet" in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. All of the chemicals that make us puffy also just slow us down and make us moody. Next time you're at the grocery store, get your meat sliced fresh. Your lunch will taste better and this easy switch will make you feel better, too.

#4 - Don't drink dessert for breakfast

We know that some of you moms look forward to stepping out to the local coffee shop to get some yummy, creamy mocha coffee drink for breakfast, but this is a terrible idea. All of these sugary concoctions have about the same amount of calories as your favorite decadent dessert and will end up zapping any little bit energy that you have. It may perk you up for an hour or so, but that huge moody, sugar crash is not worth it! Your kids need you happy and alert, and you'll feel so much more energized if you just enjoy a cup of regular coffee in the morning. Save those chocolaty calories for when you make brownies with your kids later, and you won't feel guilty about licking the bowl.

#5 - Eat from our mother Earth

As you run around mothering and feeding and nurturing your little ones, don't forget to feed and nurture yourself. The best way to do this is to try to eat something from our hot mother Earth every few hours. (Mother knows best, right?) Start your morning with warm, creamy satisfying oatmeal, enjoy a bowl of fruit when your baby is napping, and grab a handful of almonds to snack on while you straighten the house. It is essential to keep your energy up and your metabolism running smoothly by eating mini-meals throughout the day. Just make sure that they were either plucked out of the ground or fell from a tree.

For more tips, pick up a copy of How to Eat Like a Hot Chick by Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent or visit www.heydayprodcutions.com.

Comments

[Xspackle]

You do know what the letters M.I.L.F. stand for, right?

And you think nothing of associating this with Mothers' Day?

Weird.

[SharonB]

I guess there are those with such a low opinion of themselves and other women that they think this a is flattering description.
I think we should work to make them realize there are better things to aspire to.

[SharonB]

Stupid, ridiculous and insulting. The authors of this article are not living in this century.
2008 and women are supposed to want to aspire to be sexually attractive to their children's friends. Also, are we supposed to be flattered by the term, "hot chick"?
Pardon me if I am less than thrilled.
I would like to live healthy so I can become a Very Old Woman... to hell with whether I meet the standards of Hugh Hefner.

[SunSinger]

So, lessee, does today's progressive, spiritual, equality-minded woman really aspire to nothing better than taking gutter-level male trash talk and proudly applying it to herself?

That's got to be a sign of something and it sure as hell isn't liberation.

Malcolm

[SharonB]

You are a very intellegent man.

[SaulGoode]

(sigh) Stay classy, HuffPo

[Pneumaticus]

Are you sure it isn't "Mothers I'd Like to Forget"?

[Guynemer]

The Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) is a Philippine separatist group losely associated with the terrorist organizations Abu Sayyaf and Jemaah Islamiyah.

To the best of my knowledge Jennifer Coolidge does not eat like them.

[sumanne]

Wow - have you been sniffing nail polish remover while writing this ..whatever it is..
But good for Huffington..tons of traffic from all the porn-junkies out there (:-))))

[sonny088]

Great advice! I'm a Personal Trainer (male) mainly to women and I agree with everything you said here. To all the mothers out there, you're all sexy, vital women and I salute you all for the amazing things I see you do every day. I know some of you are going to feel guilty about celebrating a day all about YOU, but don't, you all deserve it many times over..Happy Mothers Day!

[sparkey]

Anyone who doesn't know what a milf is by now is obviously a republican. The male republicans probably think it stands for;" man I'd like to fuck".

[KarateKid]

ROTFLMFAO !!!!

[amazigh]

Guess what ladies? as man and a health freak, I wanted to read the article, so I went to google to check what MILF stands for...and the rest of the story, you all know it..tons of porn sites!! I must say I lost my apetit now and I don't wanna eat like a MILF anymore LOL
Next time, I'd just have to call Ariana and ask if I don't understand a word in here website.
;)

[KarateKid]

LMFAO. Do these women know what the acronym MILF stands for???

Mothers I'd Like to F***

What a hoot.

[InformedSources]

Lipper and Vincent really creep me out. What universe do they live in? These columns sound like they were dashed off while waiting for their nails to dry--then edited and proofread on the way to the hairdresser. The writers seem to have little contact with reality. Maybe this is the real face of the Huffington Post?

[LoRiseAntlers]

Wow.

MILF!?!

keepin' it classy HuffPo,keepin' it classy...

[Thorn]

The term "MILF" is so classy.

[Demily]

Why not just name this post what it is: Happy Mother's Day! You're Fat! And your Husband/Kids won't Love You Unless you Lose Some Weight!

Really, is it too much to ask for a Mother's Day Blog that celebrates mothers for the caring, beautiful people they are, instead of trying to make them feel bad about themselves? Of course, American motherhood is all about making mothers feel inadequate, so perhaps this is appropriate after all.

[bitterspinster]

I thought the same thing. They could have done a post for spouses on some nice things to do for all the moms on Mothers day but no, they have to write something that indicates you have to be skinny and have "date nights" in order to be a successful mom. Even on Mothers day we can't catch a break.