It's that time of year again. It's time to drop everything in order to watch giant men beat the crap out of each other over a funny-shaped ball -- one that shouldn't, technically speaking, even be called a ball. Just when we're craving a quiet weekend to put away lingering Christmas decorations (admit it) and get on track with our New Year's resolutions, we're smacked in the face with the Super Bowl instead. But you know what? We think that's awesome. We think a better resolution than some stupid fad diet is to start enjoying your life more - and that means taking advantage of savage Sundays, when 90% of Americans get to sit back and watch a game.
Even if you hate football, we think that Hot Chicks (and guys, of course) should always jump at the chance to have a good time--no matter how animalistic and media-centric the occasion may be. Even if you hate both teams or you don't actually know which two teams are playing, let go of the resolution diet, forget about the bills and the Christmas tree needles that still need to be vacuumed (admit it), and enjoy this opportunity to spend one day acting like a total meathead. Drink beer, eat guy food, ogle tight ends, and tell yourself not to think about anything cerebral (unless, of course, you bet on the game - then a little bit of math may be required if you don't want to get screwed).
If you don't already have plans to go to a sports bar or someone else's Super Bowl party, then throw one yourself! Take some of our silly but super Super Bowl suggestions and use Super Bowl Sunday as an excuse to party like a frat boy.
Super Sunday Suggestion #1: Fix a Feast
If you're gonna throw a Super Bowl party you've got to go crazy with food! We're not condoning bingeing or anything like that - just go whole hog with foods that you love but wouldn't necessarily eat on any given Sunday. Speaking of hog, the super bowl is the perfect time to indulge in what is traditionally described as "guy food." We suggest things like barbecued ribs with a huge pot of mac and cheese on the side. Or grill fresh hamburgers (those stove-top grills are cheap nowadays) and pile on all sorts of fun toppings. If you just can't bring yourself to unleash your inner dude, you can still make it fun and keep it a bit more girly. Make a giant tray of baked brie with different kinds of toasty breads, crackers and fruit. Just stay away from those slimy packages of hot dogs and giant bags of Cheetos. Make the food memorable--just in case the game isn't.
Touchdown: Don't Forget DESSERT! A football cake may be a bit too cheesy, but bake some gooey brownies or get ice cream and toppings for sundaes on Super-Bowl Sunday! (Yes, that's cheesy too. Just get over yourself and have fun.)
Super Sunday Suggestion #2: Bank Your Benjamins
Some of you might be thinking, "OK, dingbats, I can't afford to feed all of my friends ribs!" Well, then don't. That was just a suggestion. We can't afford it, either. However, remember that it'll cost you $50 at KFC to make sure everyone has a biscuit, individual apple pie, corn, mashed potatoes, and their favorite piece of chicken, and you're still gonna need those expensive powdered dips, and bags of chips aren't so cheap anymore, either. You can make dips from scratch that will be tastier, cheaper, and made of fewer scary ingredients. Go Google "spinach and artichoke dip." You'll save money by cooking, plus people will be impressed. And don't waste money on paper plates and plastic forks. Save some green by going green, then suck it up and do the dishes after everyone leaves.
Touchdown: Don't waste your money on team-themed table cloths, streamers or balloons. Just light a candle or two, turn on the game and be a good host.
Super Sunday Suggestion #3: Look for Love
We think the Super Bowl is the prefect time to seek out some lovin'. If you're a single chick on the dating scene, this is the perfect day to mingle with single guys. The pressure's off because the focus is on the game, but pretty soon you'll both be wearing "beer goggles." What bad can come of that? (Come to think of it, plenty of bad things can potentially come from it, but we trust you to be smart - get yourself home in one piece and use protection if you're gonna get a piece.) If you think you hate all guys who watch football, then just think of it as flirting practice. (But just so you know, sometimes we end up falling in love with the same guys we assume we'll hate.) If you are married or have a boyfriend, this is a great day to bond. Throw a party together and mix up your friends - you can even play matchmaker. Plus, you'll look so cute cuddled together in a food coma with little beer bellies after everyone leaves.
Touchdown: Chill out on that spicy, garlicky, onion-doused pretzel mix if it looks like you're gonna get some kisses. Even an Altoid mixed with a Listerine strip can't combat that.
Super Sunday Suggestion #4: Buy Booze
Don't insult your friends by putting "BYOB" on an Evite. Everyone knows that they should bring at least a six pack when they go to a party - especially a Super Bowl party.
If you have a party but advertise that you're not providing booze, people won't really want to go. Sorry, but you know it's true. Just get the cheapest wine you can find, buy bulk vodka at Costco, grab a case of beer, and you're golden. OR, help the environment by using less glass and aluminum and get a KEG. Even if you're a terrible cook and the half-time show sucks, if you have a keg the party will be a hit!
Touchdown: Make JELLO shots or just a giant bowl of spiked JELLO in your favorite team's colors, and make everyone does a shot after every touchdown (or whenever they play a commercial that you actually like).
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