Top Ten Tips for Working Like a Hot Chick
By Jodi Lipper & Cerina Vincent
It's virtually impossible to find balance in your life if you spend all of your personal time stressing out about work and all of your time at work surfing on HuffPo. In order to find balance between work and play, you have to approach your job with a confident, pro-active Hot Chick attitude. Below are our top ten tips to working like a savvy, sexy, and empowered Hot Chick, and you can pick up a copy of Live Like a Hot Chick for more tips on how to balance work with every other part of your life.
We know how much you hate the sound of your alarm clock, but there is no good excuse for being late. Come up with a plan that has you out of the shower, fighting the traffic, battling the long-ass Starbucks line, and walking into work five minutes before you're expected to arrive.
2--Don't Eat at Your Desk
Eating off of your desk exposes you to more germs than licking a toilet seat or sharing mascara with that assistant who keeps getting pink-eye. Plus, you eat more than usual because it's hard to feel satisfied when you're thoughtlessly shoveling forkfuls of salad into your mouth while using a pencil to dig crouton crumbs out of your keyboard.
Curse words have their proper place (like Gordon Ramsay's mouth and funny books with the words "Hot Chick" in the title), but cursing at work instantly makes you appear as unprofessional as the smell of last night's boxed white zinfandel on your breath.
If you're under pressure or it's that time of the month, it can be nearly impossible not to break down when the copier jams or your party of twelve leaves you a twelve cent tip, so if you're going through something serious or an especially bad case of PMS, do yourself a favor and take a sick day.
5--Skip the Sparkles
Unless you're a stripper or a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, you should not show up to work with sequins on your clothes or glitter all over your body. Business and the Bedazzler don't mix!
Do not ever forward a jokey, human-interest, non-work related email to your colleagues (or G*d forbid, your boss). This is the equivalent of sending an email to your entire company that says, "Right now I am wasting your money by sending stupid, frivolous emails instead of doing the job that you're paying me to do."
7-Rule for Reminders
We don't want you to ever accidentally miss your conference call or forget about the client holding on line one, so use an electronic calendar to set reminders. If you're not near a computer, just do whatever you need to do - write down meeting times on your hand, set the alarm on your cell phone, or put a freaking egg timer in your bra.
8--Banish Business Booty
You are a Hot Chick, but you are more than just a pretty plaything, so don't let the attention of some man mess with your head at work. Keep your eye on the prize instead of a penis, and you are sure to get much further in life than straddled on some fax machine with your skirt around your knees and your integrity even lower.
9--Don't Use Abbreviations, Emoticons, and Other Stupid Shit
Start typing out entire words to prevent yourself from coming across like a bratty teenager in your emails, and refrain from using acronyms like OMG, WDYT, and especially LOL. You are not laughing out loud, nor should you be, about work matters.
10--Do Your Job!
If you spend more time at work checking the 70% off section of shopbop.com than doing your job, we'd love to fire you and replace you with a hard working Hot Chick who's gotten laid off, but just remember about our friend karma. Every cheater eventually gets caught, and the universe will make sure that you eventually get exactly what you deserve.
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